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hindsight: what would you change?

Posted by on Jun. 1, 2012 at 2:21 AM
  • 43 Replies

 looking back to the very begining of your relationship with your s/o, what would you do differntly... with the skids, BM and even s/o reguarding his kids?

just trying to get some insight on things that didnt work out well for you in the begining.... things for me to avoid, lol!

by on Jun. 1, 2012 at 2:21 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mirm99
by on Jun. 1, 2012 at 2:36 AM
For me I'd say Im too emotionally involved w my sd.. I've had her since she was a newborn so she's like my baby... And I get taken advantaged of by dh... And bm is a mom when it's convenient for her do when she doesn't it kills me to see sd suffer..
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ROBIN-C
by on Jun. 1, 2012 at 3:04 AM

 i am only 6 months into dating s/o but still i wish i couldve met BM sooner. so she wouldnt have had so much time to get preconcived ideas about me prior to meeting me!

ManicAttack
by Silver Member on Jun. 1, 2012 at 3:15 AM

Nothing....I feel like I did just about everything right in the beginning, and now I seem to do everything wrong!!

Bells2000
by on Jun. 1, 2012 at 6:31 AM
2 moms liked this

I never would have married him or moved in with him as a married couple!!!

I was too old fashioned in thinking love -> marriage -> living -> raising a family...

I wish I just kept my own place and had him over on weekends/etc for sexual urges and just be done with it. We could go on dates, I could have my kids and he wouldn't be responsible for anything (so he'd be happy), etc. But I'd have my own place and not be responsible or obligated to have to deal with his obnoxious extended family.

Don't get my wrong, life was pretty okay (minus the live in brother in law) before my daughter arrieved.. but after her birth and growth, its just been one fucked up mess.

She's more important to me than DH, his kids, anything. She's my little world. <3



whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Jun. 1, 2012 at 7:27 AM
1 mom liked this

I would change a few of the inflammatory things I said or did, to BM, in the beginning. We recovered, but it made the road harder than it had to be.

But overall I'm happy with the way things are, so I wouldn't change much.

leegirl_jm
by Platinum Member on Jun. 1, 2012 at 8:10 AM

I would have ensured DH continued the court action to evict BM from his house.

mom7834
by Bronze Member on Jun. 1, 2012 at 8:27 AM

I wouldn't have moved in and married dh. 

lilangilyn
by on Jun. 1, 2012 at 8:30 AM

I would have dated a lot longer. I feel I was blindsided by what was going on because DH shielded me from it while we were dating. He was not honest about BM and SS. He was embarrassed by the PASing going on but clueless about how to stop it.

So being blindsided by all that was not a good way to start a life together. I would have put some boundaries in place before we got married, got on cafemom pre marriage, and just taken a more cautious approach.

pristine729
by Bronze Member on Jun. 1, 2012 at 8:32 AM
It's different for everyone. For me it's the petty feelings I have that's the hardest. My emotions are all over the place.
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Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Jun. 1, 2012 at 9:11 AM

honestly if I knew then what I knew now-I wouldn't have married him-I would have ran the other way. And the sad part is-it's got nothing to do with his kids or his ex. Believe it or not it's his mother and his sister that has caused the most pain/heartbreak in my life with him.

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