Hi I am new to this. I wanted to join because of my husband and I arguing over stepparenting and how I feel "not appreciated" and taken advantage of. I need advise of how to communicate with my husband and keep our marriage going. I will give some background..my husband and I have been together for 6 years, married almost 3 years and living together for almost 3 years. We have full custody of both of his children. There is so much that I feel I am in the right about, but need to hear from other mom's step moms, etc. I feel as if I am more of a mother than theirs. I am the one who takes them to baseball and basketball practices, games, fundraisers, doctor's, buys their snacks, stays home when they are sick. Their mom only wants something to do with them when it's convienent for her. I get frustrated when she wants to switch her time with them because then I have to adjust my work schedule.. I know they are her children, not mine! My husband is great and gives me support, however, he does not tell me things that is going on with his ex, such as if something changed or coming up to his mother's house for a cook out that we are attending as well. Boundaries?? this ex has none. She will walk in to my house up the stairs straight to her children's room..is this normal??? I feel invaded.. and she has been in our bedroom twice... I have no clue what to say to her because the kids are around and we do not discuss her around the kids... boundaries also start with my mother in law..is it normal for a mother in law to be "friends" with an ex of her sons... she has her over swimming, dinners, cookouts... I am by no means intimiated or worried by this woman, however, it is still an an ex of by husbands.. for a while I was like well it's for the kids to see their parents getting along and such but after 6 years of this..I am like noo! this has to be faded out.. I expressed my concern to my husband and he said that he cannot tell his mother what to do. I am conflicted because I agree with him, however, when we are there and their mother is there they will tell me to come watch them swim, go for bike rides, and such not their mom and I feel weird, ya know?? I am their caregiver primarliy, but am i overstepping my boundaries? we did have her doing things for the kids such as doctors, etc but she would miss appointments, not pay the co pays which was her child support and that was it...just co pays.. and she can't do that.. ALSO... my husband had a vastecomy after 2 kids and I want kids of my own.. we have not been able to save money for the surgey because of court costs ($10,000) to get full primary custody. I feel selfish at times thinking when is it going to be about me?? I want children but I have put my dreams on hold...I will stop there.. hope I get some feed back because I need it!