See what CafeMoms are saying about saving time this holiday season..
I've heard several women tell other women on here that they shouldn't be dating a man with children if they can't handle kids. Find someone without them.
The trouble with this, I've found, is that the good ones are taken or they have children/baggage.
I'm only 27, and most of the guys I've met have baggage of some sort from their past. EVEN the good ones. I've always tried to date men OLDER than I am by a few years. Maybe this is the problem, since I never dated anyone my own age. But it seems like the guys MY age are immature still- even as we get older.
What are we supposed to do?
The pool of good guys is getting smaller, and the good guys seem (to me, anyway) to fall for the crazy women FIRST. They make a mistake, then want to fix it after it's done. They have children with women they shouldn't have (of course, women do this with men, too, but I'm talking specifically for men that do it), and then the next woman is doomed. She doesn't see the problems from the beginning (I'm a perfect example- SO was very good at hiding the problems in his situation. They only became obvious to me once we lived together.). So, she falls in love with a man, who thinks he's got his situation figured out, who believes this woman will live in oblivion because he's good at hiding his baggage, and then- it's a big shit storm when the real situation suddenly appears because he can no longer contain it.
What do we do?!
**Edit: I wrote this in the heat of the moment after someone told me that if I am needing advice or support to get through a sticky situation within my step family, maybe I shouldn't be dating a man with a kid. I should have added- I don't have a problem dating a man with a kid, but problems DO arise within the situation. It doens't mean I'm "immature" for needing advice. Isn't that what this whole forum is for? Advice? Sharing of situations?