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NCP life: an "open" book

Posted by on Jun. 11, 2012 at 11:32 PM
  • 25 Replies

Does your CO keep things even between BM and DH? Or is it one sided?

I used to be so frustrated that my life was virtually an open book. BM got to know where we lived, worked, income, work hours, ect.

Yet, she did not have to supply us any information.

And it's all because of SS. Since he comes over here, she is privvy to information, so that makes it ok and acceptable. But her life is closed off. She gets to keep her privacy.

Of course, I don't want to know anything about her or her life but it seems a little  unfair that an NCP has to have little to no privacy when it comes to his ex.

by on Jun. 11, 2012 at 11:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
selene_odin
by on Jun. 11, 2012 at 11:39 PM

It should go both ways unless there's some sort of abuse situation. Both parents have every right to know where their children are and what goes on in their daily lives. Both parents should be more than willing to provide the information. All adults involved should not use the information for anything other than the best interest of the children.

luckystars2012
by Gold Member on Jun. 12, 2012 at 12:10 AM

It is SUPPOSED to be an even book between BM and SO.  However BM has refused SO any information for years, to the point where she disappeared with him and SO couldnt find her, had to hire a PI.  They have been fighting over custody since SO found her nearly two years ago and we are only now POSSIBLY seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. 

BM is not entitled to ANY of my information, in fact she has been told she will be slapped with harassment and stalking orders if she does not leave me alone.  The judge and GAL sided with me on this after she went on a psycho trip harassing members of my family (who she has never met and have never met SS) along with my exH begging for "info" on me, making fake profiles to attack and harass me, sending me hundreds of crazy emails and texts, etc.  She does not get to know anything about me, my child, my income, etc unless I choose to tell her.

selene_odin
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 12:17 AM

In a "normal" or "ideal" scenario, she's not entitled to any of your information unless her child lives with you or spends overnight visits with you. Having said that, you are exactly the circumstance when the other parent should not have access to such info. Frigging ridiculous. I'll never be able to comprehend why someone would do shit like that.

Quoting luckystars2012:

It is SUPPOSED to be an even book between BM and SO.  However BM has refused SO any information for years, to the point where she disappeared with him and SO couldnt find her, had to hire a PI.  They have been fighting over custody since SO found her nearly two years ago and we are only now POSSIBLY seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. 

BM is not entitled to ANY of my information, in fact she has been told she will be slapped with harassment and stalking orders if she does not leave me alone.  The judge and GAL sided with me on this after she went on a psycho trip harassing members of my family (who she has never met and have never met SS) along with my exH begging for "info" on me, making fake profiles to attack and harass me, sending me hundreds of crazy emails and texts, etc.  She does not get to know anything about me, my child, my income, etc unless I choose to tell her.


luckystars2012
by Gold Member on Jun. 12, 2012 at 12:40 AM

Even with SS spending time here, the only thing she is allowed to have is our address.  She is not allowed to set foot on my property under any circumstances or know any phone numbers except SO's cell phone.   

I will NEVER provide my income info to her or the courts for ANY reason, which pisses her off.  She thinks she should get more CS because I make, in her words, "a ton of money".  Also because her husbands info is required to be provided to the courts, but that is because BM doesnt have a job and is supported by her husband, and welfare.  I dont support SO, he has a job and we maintain separate finances, so my money doesnt affect him or his standard of living, but BM doesnt understand that. 

Shes batshit.  thats all I can say.  I'm still waiting for her to flip her mental switch and change her mind about the recent tentative custody agreement (it hasnt been signed yet).   

Quoting selene_odin:

In a "normal" or "ideal" scenario, she's not entitled to any of your information unless her child lives with you or spends overnight visits with you. Having said that, you are exactly the circumstance when the other parent should not have access to such info. Frigging ridiculous. I'll never be able to comprehend why someone would do shit like that.

Quoting luckystars2012:

It is SUPPOSED to be an even book between BM and SO.  However BM has refused SO any information for years, to the point where she disappeared with him and SO couldnt find her, had to hire a PI.  They have been fighting over custody since SO found her nearly two years ago and we are only now POSSIBLY seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. 

BM is not entitled to ANY of my information, in fact she has been told she will be slapped with harassment and stalking orders if she does not leave me alone.  The judge and GAL sided with me on this after she went on a psycho trip harassing members of my family (who she has never met and have never met SS) along with my exH begging for "info" on me, making fake profiles to attack and harass me, sending me hundreds of crazy emails and texts, etc.  She does not get to know anything about me, my child, my income, etc unless I choose to tell her.



dbush0584
by Bronze Member on Jun. 12, 2012 at 12:42 AM
Idk...bm unfortunately knows where we live and we know where she lives. Ex knows where we live and I know where he lives. we don't hide that shit for safety reasons.
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selene_odin
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 7:28 AM

DEFINITELY not your income. Screw that. None of her business in any way.

Quoting luckystars2012:

Even with SS spending time here, the only thing she is allowed to have is our address.  She is not allowed to set foot on my property under any circumstances or know any phone numbers except SO's cell phone.   

I will NEVER provide my income info to her or the courts for ANY reason, which pisses her off.  She thinks she should get more CS because I make, in her words, "a ton of money".  Also because her husbands info is required to be provided to the courts, but that is because BM doesnt have a job and is supported by her husband, and welfare.  I dont support SO, he has a job and we maintain separate finances, so my money doesnt affect him or his standard of living, but BM doesnt understand that. 

Shes batshit.  thats all I can say.  I'm still waiting for her to flip her mental switch and change her mind about the recent tentative custody agreement (it hasnt been signed yet).   

Quoting selene_odin:

In a "normal" or "ideal" scenario, she's not entitled to any of your information unless her child lives with you or spends overnight visits with you. Having said that, you are exactly the circumstance when the other parent should not have access to such info. Frigging ridiculous. I'll never be able to comprehend why someone would do shit like that.

Quoting luckystars2012:

It is SUPPOSED to be an even book between BM and SO.  However BM has refused SO any information for years, to the point where she disappeared with him and SO couldnt find her, had to hire a PI.  They have been fighting over custody since SO found her nearly two years ago and we are only now POSSIBLY seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. 

BM is not entitled to ANY of my information, in fact she has been told she will be slapped with harassment and stalking orders if she does not leave me alone.  The judge and GAL sided with me on this after she went on a psycho trip harassing members of my family (who she has never met and have never met SS) along with my exH begging for "info" on me, making fake profiles to attack and harass me, sending me hundreds of crazy emails and texts, etc.  She does not get to know anything about me, my child, my income, etc unless I choose to tell her.




WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Jun. 12, 2012 at 7:41 AM

It used to be that way.  Now the new CO is more equal and they both have to provide info to the other.

rose0919
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 7:58 AM

bm only knows what i have allowed her to know. she knows the basics, address,and phone mumber. she is not allowed to call the house unless dh phone isnt working and its an emergency.(there was a time dh had broken his phone at work and it wasnt ringing) but that is it. oh she wanted a criminal background check on me . but never got it. i have nothing to hide, not even a parking ticket .but it is none of her business.

ErinRenee815
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 8:14 AM

I think providing an address is a given on both sides. I don't have any of ex or SMs income information. They don't have mine either. I have BF's cell number. The kids have their SM and siblings numbers in their phones. The income information would bother me. BF already thinks he knows what we make. He talks to the kids about it all the time. I'm glad he doesn't actually know. The rest of it doesn't bother me. 

liltigersmom
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 8:42 AM
A bm can say the same.

Whatever end you're on, lives are put under a micro scope.

But I've learned that my ex doesn't have to know a lot of stuff.

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