Sd lives with dh and I full time. Right now, she is spending a week at her mom's. They are doing a ton of fun stuff, like going to amusement parks, etc.
I already know when she gets home her attitude will be awful, it always if after a long visit.
She complains about not going to do things, about not being the center of attention, about not getting whatever, whenever she wants.
Sd is 10. BTW.
And the reason we don't have the money to do any of the "fun" stuff is because we are her sole supporters. Bm pays NOTHING. She doesn't buy clothes except for her house, which sd wears a couple of weekends a month, doesn't help buy school supplies, pay for any type of day camps, nothing.
Just 2 weeks ago, sd couldn't get her report card because she lost a library book. It cost $20. We asked bm to pay $10 of that because we were very short for the week and needed gas to get to work until I got paid. Her response was "I know it's only $10 but money is just to tight, I can give it to you in two weeks", all the while she knew there was no way we would let sd go that long without knowing if she passed her grade or not. Stupid cow knew we'd end up paying the full amount regardless.
Things have been so tight money wise, and I haven't even been able to take my own kids out to do things. So what do I tell them when she comes home bragging about all the stuff she did? I know she's excited, and after the crappy Thanksgiving she had at the hospital with her bm's former F*buddy, I am glad she gets to do fun stuff. But I am also tired of being made out to be the bad one just because we don't have the extra money, which we would if bm would help support her child even a little.
I'm just at my wit's end and have no idea what to tell my kids at this point. I'm ready to tell her the truth, but I know I can't do that. What little girl wants to hear her mom's a pos?
*Edited to add
Bm does not pay cs because when we first got custody settled, our lawyer (and us) wanted it done and over with. When the judge asked if we wanted cs, we said not at this time because bm needed time to get her shit together. She was living with her mom and sf and sd wasn't safe there. She got the time she needed and got out on her own again and settled. We filed for cs and the judge said there wasn't enough change in bm's finances since the original order to change things now. It's a bunch of BS because bm's finances were not why it wasn't ordered in the first place. We are hoping to finally be moved in the next month or so. Once residency is established, we will be filing again for cs, including back cs for the past four years (which we probably won't get) because it will be in another county with a different judge.
Bm has paid NOTHING towards sd's expenses in the past 4 years, and she IS supposed to be paying half. She believes that only includes when she has sd for her 2 weekends a month.