Sd lives with dh and I full time. Right now, she is spending a week at her mom's. They are doing a ton of fun stuff, like going to amusement parks, etc.
I already know when she gets home her attitude will be awful, it always if after a long visit.
She complains about not going to do things, about not being the center of attention, about not getting whatever, whenever she wants.
Sd is 10. BTW.
And the reason we don't have the money to do any of the "fun" stuff is because we are her sole supporters. Bm pays NOTHING. She doesn't buy clothes except for her house, which sd wears a couple of weekends a month, doesn't help buy school supplies, pay for any type of day camps, nothing.
Just 2 weeks ago, sd couldn't get her report card because she lost a library book. It cost $20. We asked bm to pay $10 of that because we were very short for the week and needed gas to get to work until I got paid. Her response was "I know it's only $10 but money is just to tight, I can give it to you in two weeks", all the while she knew there was no way we would let sd go that long without knowing if she passed her grade or not. Stupid cow knew we'd end up paying the full amount regardless.
Things have been so tight money wise, and I haven't even been able to take my own kids out to do things. So what do I tell them when she comes home bragging about all the stuff she did? I know she's excited, and after the crappy Thanksgiving she had at the hospital with her bm's former F*buddy, I am glad she gets to do fun stuff. But I am also tired of being made out to be the bad one just because we don't have the extra money, which we would if bm would help support her child even a little.
I'm just at my wit's end and have no idea what to tell my kids at this point. I'm ready to tell her the truth, but I know I can't do that. What little girl wants to hear her mom's a pos?
*Edited to add
Bm does not pay cs because when we first got custody settled, our lawyer (and us) wanted it done and over with. When the judge asked if we wanted cs, we said not at this time because bm needed time to get her shit together. She was living with her mom and sf and sd wasn't safe there. She got the time she needed and got out on her own again and settled. We filed for cs and the judge said there wasn't enough change in bm's finances since the original order to change things now. It's a bunch of BS because bm's finances were not why it wasn't ordered in the first place. We are hoping to finally be moved in the next month or so. Once residency is established, we will be filing again for cs, including back cs for the past four years (which we probably won't get) because it will be in another county with a different judge.
Bm has paid NOTHING towards sd's expenses in the past 4 years, and she IS supposed to be paying half. She believes that only includes when she has sd for her 2 weekends a month.
Ahhhh the Di9sneyland parent! This sounds like our sitch not too long ago! We were the bad guys cause we didn't do amusement parks, movies etc etc!
I don't have any advice.
I can say... I know how you feel, and that you are not alone.
It's pretty much the same with us and my skids and I get so frustrated with them!
All I can say is good luck!!
Quoting E_is_4_Ethan:I don't have any advice.
I can say... I know how you feel, and that you are not alone.
No little girl wants to hear that her mom is a POS, so don't even go there. To HER, her mom is not a POS anyway.
Do you consider yourself a parent to your SD? If so, respond exactly the same way to her as you would to your other kids when they say "why can't we do this or that." Don't react emotionally to the question, just answer it.
What would your answer be if one of your other kids said it?
Quoting ErinRenee815:Does BM pay CS? If she doesn't why not? That could fix your problem.
I agree with this wholeheartedly. Have you pursued all legal avenues to collect CS from BM?
you're not alone. DH's sd11 cries all the time how we're so boring because we never do anything. DH is the sole breadwinner in this house-so we only have 1 income (actually 2 dd8's ssi but that goes strictly to her) so money's tight until i can get a part time job.
HOWEVER-We do take the kids out-I'm always checking for free events that are going on (usually every weekend around my town) we take the kids out-she's always bitchy because it's never good enough for HER. BM can do the same events-and she's happy as a clam.
We're damned if we do and damned if we don't. Because there are times sd11 stays home with her mom and if we go do something she gets pissy because we didn't take her.
(DH's not her bio dad but has been there for her for the last 10 yrs)
2 year old actuaully called me a b***h
- ma23
on Jun. 13, 2012 at 12:29 AM