Need a little guidance? I'm a seventeen year old step mom!

[TeenageStepmom]

Just what the title says. I'd like some guidance and advice on what to do, preferably from women who were young stepmothers, I'm completely lost. I put up a post earlier but got no replies so if you want the details, they're in there. Any help would be GREATLY appreciated! Thank you(:

[Dana333810]

What was the post? And how on earth did you become a sm at 17m???

[TeenageStepmom]

http://www.cafemom.com/group/3019/forums/read/16786626/Teenage_Stepmoms?last&ct=beta_topnav_dropdown_myposts#replies that was the post.

[saramom7]

I was very young when I became SM, not a teenager, but 23 and very immature. My skids were literally dropped off one day (we had never met) and BM didn't come back for years. The best advice I can give you is don't try to become their mother, don't try to take control. Let their Dad handle the actual parenting. Love them, guide them, and be there for them, but don't put yourself in the position of parent. When you do that you set yourself up for pain and a resentful relationship. Talk with your SO and make sure you are on the same page about rules and expectations. When things get rough, walk away and breathe. Come back to a situation when your calm, it's just better for everyone.
I'm no expert, and have made my fair share of mistakes, but I know if we had started off this way we all could have been saved a lot of heartache. Hope this helps.

[mschwab3360]

what do you need advice on exactly??

[WifeyC]

You aren't a SM.  You are Dad's GF and way too young to be getting involved in this.

[TeenageStepmom]

Thank you, how do I go about NOT becoming an actual parent-type figure when that's what my boyfriend wants?

[TeenageStepmom]

Well that's what her father considers me and I think it's up to him.

[Dana333810]

Girl, I'm going to give you the most solid piece of advice I possibly can.

RUN.

Based on my personal experience you are headed down a long road of stuff that's no fun. If there are already problems and you guys are not even adults yet, this is bad news. My heart hurts for you dear.

[TeenageStepmom]

Just how to do what's right and best in thi situation.

[Dana333810]

You STAND UP for yourself and make your boundaries perfectly clear. If he cannot respect that, he doesnt respect you, and that is not right!

Quoting TeenageStepmom:

Thank you, how do I go about NOT becoming an actual parent-type figure when that's what my boyfriend wants?