See what CafeMoms are saying about saving time this holiday season..
Ok I left off with his youngest telling us she's changed her mind. After an all day session before a Judge and after she read the social workers report and therapists recommendations, it was determined that she should live with us. Horray right? WRONG! This child who I've know and thought I had a bond with turned our home into a hell. She usally sat on the couch in the living room away from everyone else , who usually hung out in the family room. She would usually either sleep constantly or text or be on her computer. She shared my dughter's room becuase they were the same age, since she had changed, this put a tremendous amount of stress on my daugher who is a good kid and student. His daughter rarely ate with us at the table and when she did, complained about what I made. When I would lecture her about something I was usually told to stop talking or just to shut up beucase I wasn't her mom and I couldn't tell her what to do. We had 4 teens girls living in our home, 2 his and 2 mine. The oldest attending college. They all had household chores to do, but his 16 year never did hers correctly. For example, one day it was her job to dust the livingroom, and vaccuum. She ran teh vaccuum, but nothing was dusted. I called her on it and told her to dust, I was told no I wont. One of the most difficult things I dealt with is my husband usually never witnessed the disrespect, so when I expalined the situation to him he tried to be diplomatic to please the both of us. From what I've read, this is very typical of the fathers out there. The last straw was the last day of school this year, when i was speaking to her from another room, and was getting no response. I went to check on her because I thought she had fallen to sleep on me. She had not gone to sleep, but was plugging her ears with her fingers so she didn't have to listen. So i took her wrists and explained to her that she will listen to me in my house, which turned into "get your hands off of me and a number of cuss words"
I called my husband and I told him I was done. I couldn't do it anymore. He came home and had a talk with her and it was decided that since school was over she could go back to her mother.
Our home is back to a peaceful state, and my 16 year old has her room back, but I feel like a huge failure who was taken advanatge of. I feel that this was a game she started becuase she was angry with her mother for a number of reasons and if she threatened to move in with her father that her mother would change, and the entire thing backfired on her.
So now she is back doing the things she did. Not sure how things will turn out for her, but I told my husband I never want to see her face again in my home.
Anybody been there??? And what happens when you dissown step children??