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A question for both Bio Moms and Step moms

Posted by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 7:41 PM
  • 70 Replies

Ok, so while reading posts on here today I have noticed that there are a lot of SM's that deal, put up with, don't like, or just plain can't stand BM's.  Myself is included in all of the above. 

HERE IS THE QUESTION:

 

Does anyone on here have a good or even fairly decent relationship with a BM or your kids SM??  Like you talk about the kids, can interact and not have any hard feelings

 

P.S. Not asking if your like BFF's but can be in the same room and have a conversation.  instead of looks that could kill

by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 7:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jessiesluv
by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 7:43 PM

I did for a brief second while she didn't have a SO. Apparently she can only be friendly when she is without a mate.

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Jun. 20, 2012 at 7:49 PM

how does BM feel about you whipping her 7yo child with a belt?

Cause that alone would explain why she doesn't like you.

kustomkidz
by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 7:52 PM
I used to. I wasn't a fan of her but she thought we were BFFs.

Now she is off her damn rocker and we don't speak. That's my doing though. She tries to speak to me via text and I ignore it. I leave the house when she is here and change the subject when her name is brought up. The hatred I feel for that woman shows way too easily so I try to avoid it at all costs. It's not healthy, I know, I'm working on it.
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WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Jun. 20, 2012 at 7:53 PM

BM and I used to get along great. Not so much anymore. 

Now I'm going to read your other post to see why you would hit her child with a belt.

weirdkids
by Member on Jun. 20, 2012 at 7:56 PM
I'm good friends with SS bm. We even go for girls nite out sometimes.
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Mrs.Williams13
by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 7:59 PM

We get along fine.


I sense jealousy though everytime she is at my house.  

LexRi0709
by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 8:02 PM

 My dd's bd new gf started off on a bad foot already. They had literally been dating for 2 days when she posted a pic on fb of my dd saying "I'm a new mommy...and without all the stretch marks". Needless to say, this was how I found out about the relationship and had a long convo with the ex about it.

 This his ex gf from high school. They dated less than a year, but remained friends. When him and I started dating he introduced me to her, and we became friends. She moved and we didn't speak after she moved, expect to tell me she had divorced her husband and less than a month later was moving from Ohio to VA to be with some other guy. She has only been dating my ex for 2 months. After 2 wks she started planning her move from VA, back to FL where we live. So not only does she boy hop, but she desperately wants kids. So, to me she is using my ex (I don't care about that though, I care how it affects dd). He hasn't had a job in 2 1/2 yrs and has a history of dv with both me and his ex before me, who he dated again after me. I have lost respect for her for the fact that she would date someone that she knows has no ambition to pay his court ordered child support and is about to lose his license, doesn't want to work, takes care of his child when he wants to and has a major anger problem.

pseudomamma
by Bronze Member on Jun. 20, 2012 at 8:23 PM

We get along.  We are not BFF's and will never be.  When I p/u Jr, I make a point of going about 15 minutes early to sit down and spend about a half hour just talking with her.  We talk about JR, her job, the other kids, things like that.  It's a good way to communicate, face to face with no raised voices.

Seriously, the best advice I can give a new SM is to maintain a civil relationship with BM.  We've been through it all in the last 20 yrs.  Kids will know if it isn't and jump all over it.  This will create more drama that one can imagine.  It's alot harder for them to get away with stuff when the two of you talk.

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Jun. 20, 2012 at 8:42 PM


Quoting whatIknownow:

how does BM feel about you whipping her 7yo child with a belt?

Cause that alone would explain why she doesn't like you.

Can't believe she says she dislikes the BM of her SD.  Like she has any room to talk about how BM is when she's doing corporal punishment with a belt on her SD.   Like the saying goes, "Those who live in glass houses..."

Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Jun. 20, 2012 at 8:42 PM

When my ex got married-he wanted us to just not have a relationship-however we did. She's never been within 100 miles of DD8 but we kept a great online relationship. Even though they're divorced-we still keep in touch from time to time.

BM-at first she was in a bad place in her life-but the last 1-2 yrs have been better then ever. Now we're FB friends-we invite each other to family events-we talk on the phone etc.

And even though DH and i are now separated her and i still keep in touch and believe me we're all better off this way.

We just got to that point that we realized the drama was NOT worth it!

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