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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

Who's right? BM or BD/SM?

Posted by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 10:23 AM
  • 26 Replies

A friend over the weekend was telling me about her experience the week before while they were trying to get SD for the summer. I wanted to see what you all think about it. BD bought the plane tickets, BD and BM agreed to allow SM to pick child up from the airport because he couldn't take a whole day off from work. He made arrangements to get off a couple hours after her plane set down. BM didn't put SD on the plane. BD had to scramble and get SD scheduled for the next available flight, which happened to be the next morning. BD spoke with his boss and they allowed him to work the following morning pretty much with the same arrangement they had in the beginning. He is paid hourly so he felt he needed to make up those hours he lost by BM not putting SD on the plane. Following morning, SD is on her way. SM goes to the airport as agreed upon by the BPs earlier. Once there, the airport security refuses to allow SM to pick up the child. Apparently BM changed who was allowed to pick up SD when she dropped SD off that morning. SM is angry and upset because BM backed out of the deal BD and her had made. SM calls BM questioning the whole thing, BM says if BD is not available to pick up SD, then SD should be sent back home. SM also calls BD who in turn calls the airport. In the end, SM is allowed to pick up SD, who, by this time, has been waiting for 30 minutes to get picked up. BM is furious because BD overroad her decision and allowed SM to pick up SD. BM is making threats to take him to court and make it so SM is no longer allowed around SD. SD comes to visit during half the school breaks and the summer. SM has been in SD's life for 8 years.What do you all think? How would you advise the SM/BD in this situation?

My 1st thought when she told me this was, thank goodness I do not have to deal with kind of drama, I would go absolutely nuts!

by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 10:23 AM
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Replies (1-10):
CountryStrong84
by Member on Jun. 25, 2012 at 10:26 AM
5 moms liked this
BM is full of hot air. BD can have Aerosmith pick up his daughter if he wants. BM can suck it.
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needsupport100
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 10:29 AM

unless bm can prove sm unfit to be around the child i HIGHLY doubt she'll get that ordered "yeah your honor, i don't want smom around because her hair is prettier than mine"......c'on.....phlueez.

dad did what i would've done "i'm the father and i'm authorizing x (tom dick or harry because) *I* say it's ok and can"

Bells2000
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 10:30 AM
2 moms liked this

That's complete and utter bullshit. I mean seriously!!?!?!

From there on out, I'd make sure EVERY form of communication with BM is in email form (I wouldn't even bother with texts, just because I personally think its easier to keep track of email).

That way all agreements are in writing. Then if she wants to pull some psycho /change of plan bullshit, it would be in writing for what she agreed. Then take her ass back to court for whatever she is possibly violating... such as denying him time with his kid because of the delay in not even putting her on the plane, etc.

KnowItAll
by Silver Member on Jun. 25, 2012 at 10:37 AM

What was the reason that BM didn't put SD on the original agreed upon flight?

mmkess
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 10:51 AM
2 moms liked this

I think the child's mother is intentionally making things difficult for the dad and stepmom. Unfortunately the daughter is suffering too. The court needs to  put a legal smackdown on the ridiculous mom.

JacyB
by Bronze Member on Jun. 25, 2012 at 11:25 AM
1 mom liked this
BM is wrong. Who agrees to something like that and changes it last minute?! I would be so pissed (if I were dad and sm). Assuming SM wasn't off murdering people between the two flights, what difference does it make?? I would tell her next time she can drive her ass and SD all the way to BD and foot the bill for it since its so damn important (yeah, I know it wouldn't fly but it would make me feel good to say). What a crappy way for them to start their summer.
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packermomof2
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 12:08 PM

I'd not make that deal in the first place.  I'd expect the parent to be at the other airport to get our kids.  Not his wife, not his mom, him.  I have an "ohhhh, shiny" kid and I want to know that someone who was fully responsible for our children was there to get them, someone who was legally responsible in case something happened, someone the kids were there for, and someone I trusted to get my kids.  (This is hypothetical in my case, I'm pretending that dad is responsible and trustworthy for my answer).

I don't trust people just because my ex does when it comes to my kids.

akm378mn
by Member on Jun. 25, 2012 at 12:20 PM
1 mom liked this

If BM agreed to SM picking up then pulled all this BS, then she's definitely in the wrong.  wth.  I say, if you agree, you agree and you don't change things last minute just to cause problems. 

Next time BD needs to get it in writing.  Get it notarized if necessary, then SM could have brought the paper with and had proof that it was okay for her to pick sd up. 

To me BM is being a manipulative B.  Sounds like she had sd miss the first flight on purpose.

rebeccasmly
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 12:57 PM
Didn't make it to the airport on time. BM has missed a flight at least once a year since I've known SM

Quoting KnowItAll:

What was the reason that BM didn't put SD on the original agreed upon flight?

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rebeccasmly
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 1:13 PM
I've known SM/BD for 4 years. In that time period SM has done all the pickups except Christmas where he takes the entire time off of work. They've always had pretty much the same set up. BD work partial day, SM pick up SD and then they will meet up with BD. They always have an activity planned for when BD gets off. This time it was 4 days at a resort (which they lost 1 day of).

Quoting packermomof2:

I'd not make that deal in the first place.  I'd expect the parent to be at the other airport to get our kids.  Not his wife, not his mom, him.  I have an "ohhhh, shiny" kid and I want to know that someone who was fully responsible for our children was there to get them, someone who was legally responsible in case something happened, someone the kids were there for, and someone I trusted to get my kids.  (This is hypothetical in my case, I'm pretending that dad is responsible and trustworthy for my answer).

I don't trust people just because my ex does when it comes to my kids.

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