My adult son lives 9 hours away and he came to see his girlfriend and go to the dr. in her town about getting his tonsils out. It is 3 hours from me so I drove up and spent the day with him, he's 25. I asked me what we were going to do for Thanksgiving this year, was he coming to my house or his dads or what. He said "You know, since this divorce neither of my parents have a room for me, not even a bed. I have to sleep on a couch or blow up bed in my sister's room. This has just broken my heart. My new husband and I are looking for another house but we don't want to move until his son graduates next May because he is on the school board and wants to give him his diploma and finish his term. Selling our house will take some time to do too I'm sure.
It's true, we only have a 3 bedroom house and his son has one, my daughter the other. If we can just get through one more year I keep telling myself. I'm hurt that he can't even stay with me when he has surgery because there is no privacy for him. My husband said my ss could stay with his mom but staying in another boy's room isn't comfortable and I know my son wouldn't want to do that. A guest room would be different. I just keep thinking about the conversation and had to post. So many casualties and little things that divorce and remarriage bring about for our children, even the grown ones!
Dear son,
You moved out. I moved on. Love you always, mom.
My MIL always makes sure to have an extra room for her family. She and her husband bought a new house this year. 3 bedroom, no kids at home. Because she always has family coming over. We stay once a year, her SKs stay, my BIL stays with his family, her SIL and MIL stay... people going on vaca to Canada (in the family) stay with her on their way.
While not everyone is like her, acting like a kid who wants to stay with their parents sometimes is something wrong and immature baffles me.
Quoting Bertieb:So many casualties and little things that divorce and remarriage bring about for our children, even the grown ones!
yes, I agree. I also think about these things, about ways my dirorce affected my kids. I have a lot of guilt issues over it.
Honestly I still have issues with not having a room at my dads house and not because I need one as an adult or even want one now but my dad as loving as he is bought a 4 bedroom house with his current wife (I have never even had a bed at my dads my sister brother and I have ALWAYS had to sleep on the floor) Well he had said that when he moved my brother would get one room and my twin and I would get one room and my new baby sister would get a room. YAY no She got a room which was cool she was there full time not the problem, one of the rooms was used for a guest room which we weren't allowed to stay in because that was my new "grandma's" room since she stayed over alot since my little sister has major health issues also not a problem I understood then they made the third bedroom into a game room with a tiny futon in it we weren't allowed to have a dresser for clothes in there because it took up too much space also weren't allowed to use the closet since that was were they stored my little sister's toys. I am now 26 yrs old and it still bugs me. I love my dad with everything I have and my step mom is a wonderful person but not having a "place" at your parents house sucks. I'm past the whole I need a room thing but as a kid it sucked.
That was ummmmm.................douchey of him to say that. He is an adult, get a hotel room. You as an adult are not entitled to a room to yourself in your parents home.
i didn't interpret the son's statement the same way other apparently did. I didnt' think it was "mean" or "douchy." He was just explaning why he wouldn't be staying with his mom for Thanksgiving. He didn't tell her she should provide a room for him, just stating the obvious that she did not have a room for him. Of course he can stay in a hotel, and maybe he will end up doing that.
And the OP seemed to be wistfully wishing that it was not the case, so that her son could stay with her for thanksgiving, and also when he got his tonsils out. And that this was one of the unseen casualties of divorce.
Maybe you have to have grown children to get it. Well in any case, I got it.
Very Proud!!!!!!
- Bertieb
on Jun. 25, 2012 at 12:52 PM