My boyfriend just goes along with whatever his daughters mom wants to do...no matter how last minute or inconvenient or if it conflicts with other plans. I get the feeling that after everything she has done and her crappy parenting history, he is just desperate for anything he can get.
Its very frustrating to feel like my schedule and plan can be thrown off and f-ed on her whim
I don't know if I can do it. It makes me feel really bitter and resentful and pussycat, to be honest. She basically forfeited her role as mommy for two years...and now she is back, has "turned her life around", and is calling all the shots. He has primary custody but she can pretty much come and go as she please. "I will get her at two on Saturday..." then its Friday night, then maybe not at all, then it might be next week, oh actually I will be there in ten minutes!
Venting, fed up, trying to sort through my annoyance. Help?
I always work with my odd's bf. He doesnt see her often, so reasonable or not I help him.
Yeah I am in the same boat. I just kept making plans...I got tired of having to break my plans because of her whims.
What exactly is the custody/visitation order?
There's very little you can do about an NCP not picking the child up at all. You can get mad and fume, but not much you can do about it. It's part of dating a CP.
However, alot of orders will say that if the NCP hasn't picked up by a certain time, they've forfeited that visitation. Do you know if your SO's order says that? You could also take them to court to reduce visitation based on non-use.
However, you have to remember that the well being of your SO's daughter comes first. Punnishing BM by denying visitation could really hurt the little girl, so that's probably why he doesn't often employ it. You can't expect him to hurt his child to teach BM a lesson about inconveniencing you. Kids react in different ways to absent parents, but many of them crave even 5 minutes at inconsistent intervals as opposed to never seeing the parent.
I think if your plans are important enough you should stress to your SO that he needs to have a back-up babysitter just in case BM flakes.
Good thing is, is she stopped bringing the kids 30 minutes late.
Quoting Dana333810:
It really just depends on the situation. Dh tries to work with her on stuff. If an accomodation to a plan change request is understandable, he will work with her. If she's changing plans just because she is in a mood, he will not accomadate her. He will stick to the original.
I always work with my odd's bf. He doesnt see her often, so reasonable or not I help him.
As a CBM with a BD who is inconsistent and mostly absent, I expect him to accomodate me and the plans I already have with the kids. I get where your SO is coming from, but at some point he's going to have to realize who wants the relationship (between kids & BM) with the kids more - him or her.
Jealousy, confusion, frustration- oh joy...
32 and a grandmother.......but NOT the grandmother
- bethanypayton
on Jun. 25, 2012 at 11:06 PM