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Dentist

Posted by on Jun. 27, 2012 at 12:47 AM
  • 54 Replies
At what age did you first bring your child to the dentist?

Would you leave this up to the dad? Would you allow the SM to bring your child to their very first trip to the dentist?
by on Jun. 27, 2012 at 12:47 AM
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Replies (1-10):
baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Jun. 27, 2012 at 12:53 AM
2 moms liked this

 5 maybe? Nope an double nope.

packermomof2
by on Jun. 27, 2012 at 12:55 AM
1 mom liked this

3 years.  If dad wanted to be involved, yes.  His wife?  Not so much.

need2blend
by on Jun. 27, 2012 at 1:50 AM
Ok, so after being a SM for a year I realized that SD has never been to the dentist. She is 6 and I am shocked. My kids went around 3 and I googled last night and most sites say that now they want kids to have there first visit at age 1 year. So SD is way behind.

One side note: I decided that, after around 4 months of listening to my SD cough and clear her throat, to take her to the dr. My DH and I decided to tell mom after to avoid drama. I found out that she hadn't been to the dr for 2 yrs and she was behind on 4 immunizations. Also turns out the cough is asthma and mom has 2 other kids with asthma but never bothered to have my SD checked. When we texted her to tell her that we took her in she seemed unconcerned and not even upset that we went. When DH mentioned the shots she just through it back on him and said he didn't keep up on that stuff either. When DH went back to moms BM was all up in arms bc I added SD to my insurance which ment that SD was no longer on her state insurance. Stated that she was going to bring it up to her attorney. Crazy right?

So back to the dentist: I made an appointment for SD to see my dentist. DH decided to text BM and just asked her if she had ever taken DS to the dentist. Her response was ' no, have you?'. He said then I'll take her and BM said ok. WHAT?? Wouldn't you want to go to your child first visit? I would!! And she knows it's most likely me that would be taking her.

BTW...BM works as a medical assistant (and claims she's a nurse)

Sorry so long...but I'm dumbfounded.
packermomof2
by on Jun. 27, 2012 at 11:33 AM

I wouldn't want my kids on SMs insurance either. 

But she does have a point.  You can't berate her for something and not your husband when is equally as capable. 

need2blend
by on Jun. 27, 2012 at 11:47 AM
Quoting packermomof2:

I wouldn't want my kids on SMs insurance either. 

But she does have a point.  You can't berate her for something and not your husband when is equally as capable. 




What difference does it make who's insurance SD is on? That's just petty. The reason I put her on mine was bc I already had a family ins plan. BM turned DH into DCS even though he never missed a single payment and during his interview they asked if he was able to put SD on our ins so she wouldn't be on state ins so we did.

As far as DH's responsibility, trust me I gave him an earful :)
However, I raised 3 kids with my ex and never expected him to be responsible for the kids basic health needs. If you asked ex when was the last time the kids had any shots or went to the dentist he wouldn't have a clue. I surveyed a bunch of my friends and their husbands are the same way. Is your SO completely aware of his kids medical needs?
MommySabs
by Gold Member on Jun. 27, 2012 at 11:49 AM
Not your kid not your business to keep up on shots ect.
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MomGoingCrazy78
by Lindy Lou on Jun. 27, 2012 at 11:57 AM
1 mom liked this

I have put my SD on my ins before when it was needed. No problems. BM was glad she was covered. My DH and I take SD to dentist 2x a year. If DH can't make it, I go alone (we take all 3 kids at the same time). BM neglected SD teeth so bad when she was little that DH had to have caps put on a 3 year old. We have taken care of dental/health since then. We always tell BM when appts are, she's only made 1 in 7 years.

packermomof2
by on Jun. 27, 2012 at 12:08 PM


Quoting need2blend:




What difference does it make who's insurance SD is on? That's just petty.  In your opinion.  And I will further state that I hold a huge double standard on this. 
I care if SM has my kids on her insurance because I don't like nosy women.  Meaning, there are women who think because they pay for something they are entitled to know what it is covering for kids that aren't theirs.  I don't want to have to explain to a SM why I need to do...anything and if she is has insurance that requires getting permission for something (or whatever the word is, I forget it...where you have to call, set everything up before a procedure can happen) and needing her to do it for me.  I want her as far removed from my kids medical and dental and everything else as much as possible.
My double standard is that I don't care if my husband has them on his.  Because I don't need to go through him to get anything done, I can do it.  He doesn't question what I do for my kids as it is, he doesn't even look at EOB's.  He may be the subscriber, but I'm the one who handles everything else with the insurance. 
Now, I can call and get any information on my kids ins. that i need even though dad holds it.  He doesn't know I do that.  There are people who think it isn't right that a CP can do that with another persons ins even though they are only getting info on their children.  If SM were the kind to have a problem with me getting information I needed from the ins. for my kids without having to go through her that would be my biggest issue with her having my kids on there right next to not knowing if she is nosy and thinks that because she pays that she is entitled to access on anything pertaining to my children (questioning meds, treatments, procedures, whatnot)

The reason I put her on mine was bc I already had a family ins plan. BM turned DH into DCS even though he never missed a single payment and during his interview they asked if he was able to put SD on our ins so she wouldn't be on state ins so we did. I wouldn't care about the reason SM gave me.  Dad and SM, to me, are not the same when it comes to CO'd obligations.  If they are SMs wouldn't complain about the multitude of other things that pertain to money... as in... CS isn't my responsiblity because the kid isn't mine, bills aren't my responsibility because the kid isn't mine.  If the kid isn't SMs responsbility then ins. wouldn't be something that was their responsibility when dad didn't take care of it, just like bills and CS aren't.

As far as DH's responsibility, trust me I gave him an earful :)
However, I raised 3 kids with my ex and never expected him to be responsible for the kids basic health needs. If you asked ex when was the last time the kids had any shots or went to the dentist he wouldn't have a clue. I surveyed a bunch of my friends and their husbands are the same way.
So because you and your friends don't expect dad to be a parent in all things, mom of your SKs shouldn't either?  Men who want to be seen as equal parents need to act a bit more interested in their kids overall well being instead of letting women take care of things.


jojojack
by Bronze Member on Jun. 27, 2012 at 12:13 PM
Most kids will sit for a cleaning and check up at about age 2
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
YesImMomToo
by on Jun. 27, 2012 at 12:14 PM
Yes my husband is completly aware of his childrens medical needs. He knows whichim immunizations they've received when is the next ones are due.

He schedules the dentist appointments he knows which teeth are falling out which ones havent yet and he has no problem taking them and then relaying a detailed message to bm about all of it.

My husband is a hands on dad in every aspect of his boy's lifes.


Quoting need2blend:

Quoting packermomof2:

I wouldn't want my kids on SMs insurance either. 

But she does have a point.  You can't berate her for something and not your husband when is equally as capable. 






What difference does it make who's insurance SD is on? That's just petty. The reason I put her on mine was bc I already had a family ins plan. BM turned DH into DCS even though he never missed a single payment and during his interview they asked if he was able to put SD on our ins so she wouldn't be on state ins so we did.



As far as DH's responsibility, trust me I gave him an earful :)

However, I raised 3 kids with my ex and never expected him to be responsible for the kids basic health needs. If you asked ex when was the last time the kids had any shots or went to the dentist he wouldn't have a clue. I surveyed a bunch of my friends and their husbands are the same way. Is your SO completely aware of his kids medical needs?
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