I am a mother of now two, One by birth and one by soon to be marriage!
Our youngest is 5 and our oldest is 8. I would love advice please on
blending families, I am pregnant and this will be our first child
together, both children from previous relationships. I am dying inside
because I constantly feel my finacee favors his daughter over mine, I
have to remind him to say I love you to our daughter, 5yrs old, and its
driving me to the point I dont know what to do anymore.
Example: yesterday we went to ROSS and my daughter got hurt on the cart and got a bump on her legg. I ran over to her and picked her up. He did nothing. didnt even ask if she was okay, just contuined to look at dogg stuff for our new dog. I was so mad, if it had been his daughter he would have been right by her side asking if she was okay and doting on her. My daughter never gets this treatment from him.
until i started saying hey you need to tell my daughter you love her too, when we would put the girls down for bed at night he would DOTE on his daughter saying i love you a bunch of times, kisses, hugs and that sweet tone he only uses with her, then its a quick kiss for my daughter and no i love you. it makes me want to cry, no actually i do cry.
this morning he tells his daughter goodbye before work and i love you, and then says bye to my daughter. I have to TELL him hey i havent heard a I love you for (my daughters name) yet. and he then says it. I dont understand this and it makes me so sad. why cant he love my daughter like he loves his? It came so naturally to me when we blended families to love his daughter like i love my own. I dote on her like I do my own.
Another problem we have is its always about his daughter. how great she does and everything she does is perfect. its never about anything my daughter can do. its always about Hey look what (his daughter) does why dont you be like (his daughter) or shes doing this why dont you do it, to my daughter. she never gets praise for being her own person.
This is starting to cause huge probnlems with my daughter and she is starting to resent his daughter, and shes starting to become clingy to me, and very emotional and this isnt her at all and its breaking my heart and i do not know what to do. I am so scared because I am pregnant and I am worried when this baby comes he will completly ignore my daughter. I need advice please, before this turns into a break up.
ps. his mother is the EXCAT same way as him. I took the girls over there to make snow cones, my daughter says to his daughter i wanna help too, and his mom says no (his daughter) wanted to make this. I said actually they both want to and (my daughter) can help. its always like this when we go over there. its always look at what his daughter can do and what she does and my daughter gets left in the cornor with no praise. his brother actually noticed it a few days ago and said hey (my daughter) look at what you can do lets go play. it was so sweet but sad at the same time that he noticed it too.