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call me a b**** but this is really getting annoying


 

Poll

Question: what ever shall i do

Options:

quit your bitch fit and give them the 2 days

offer to reschedule so your time in uninterupted

other


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 48

View Results

my dd's dad is fixing to start his second 2 weeks visitation. he's already had almost a week extra this summer already (i offered it to take care of stuff i needed to take care of) well, he's supposed to get her from this sunday=the first, to the 15th of july

he texted me last night "hey daddy daughter dance the 21st, can i take her" on my time. and now his mom "bring your kids to work day on the 19th can she go?" normally i don't care as long as i don't have plans but damn! i want my time with her too UNINTERUPTED.

 

am i being a bitch?

i'm thinking about asking him "hey why don't you just wait to get her til the week after, still get her the morning of the 4th and bring her home that night after fireworks and wait to start your 2 weeks the week after (the 8 through 22), cause i want time too......uninterupted-i know i volunteered time to you, it was cause i was in a bad spot, but DAMN i don't interupt YOUR time (i don't unless there's an emergency, then we reschedule and i STILL leave him alone during the rescheduled time)

update: ok so I talked to her dad and clarified things. He said it's a daddy daughter DAY. a day at a ranch with horseback riding and fishing. these are things he can do on ANY day-just not at this ranch. the ranch is at his stepdad's co workers place. he can take her horseback riding ANY time because his mil has horses-and his mom and they ALWAYS go fishing. so i told him he'd have to plan his activities during his time....am trying to make plans myself (i am)

just to clarify a few things: i normally DO let him have extra time with dd-this time i did not for reason's stated throughout the post MANY times-however, xh and i have already discussed, she's not going END OF STORY

responses will now be ignored (at least i didn't delete the post)

by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 3:00 PM
Replies (41-50):
baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Jul. 2, 2012 at 10:22 AM

 

Quoting needsupport100:

 

Quoting militarystepmom:

Little girls need time with their daddy. It's a father daughter thing and her having time with him will go a long way In creating her self esteem. Little girls learn how to be treated I have your dad treats them. Don't get in the way your little girl will only resent you in the future.

she wont resent me in the future, because i already give her extra time with her dad-it's not like i tell her (or him) she can't go because i'm not required to let her-and SHE doesn't hear our conversations as to "why or why not" it's none of her business-besides she never knew about either activity---so she has nothing to resent me for.

 

 You can only count on that going so far. Dad might just tell her about the stuff he had planned for her and doesnt understand why you wouldnt let her go. So yeah, there could be some resentment in the future coming your way. She lives with you full time. I think you are being uber selfish.

LoveMyLos
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 10:28 AM

i would let her go....too many "father" these days couldn't care less about their kids......at lest he wants her.

needsupport100
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 10:33 AM


Quoting baparrot2:

 You can only count on that going so far. Dad might just tell her about the stuff he had planned for her and doesnt understand why you wouldnt let her go. yeah and i can do the same yeah, there could be some resentment in the future coming your way. She lives with you full time. I think you are being uber selfish. yeah, i expect YOU to think that

the thing is parrot-he and i are raising her that our lives don't stop because she isn't there-there's activities she misses out on with both of us-i GIVE her extra time with her dad-but there's a few days here and there i deny (and so does he)-it's not always HER choice, if it was, she'd probably become one of those "entitled kids" later in the future-she needs to learn that she's GONNA be told no for no apparent reason-and she doesn't need to throw a fit or be a resentmental kid because of that.

needsupport100
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 10:34 AM

I KEEP seeing "how many fathers SHOULD be doing this that don't"

so MY choices for my child should be based on what others are doing and not MY sitiatuation at hand??

 

CountryStrong84
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 10:36 AM
Nope. But you are being selfish. Give him some extra time. I doubt it will hurt your child to spend more time with her father. Those are important too, you know.

Quoting needsupport100:

I KEEP seeing "how many fathers SHOULD be doing this that don't"


so MY choices for my child should be based on what others are doing and not MY sitiatuation at hand??


 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Jul. 2, 2012 at 10:36 AM

 

Quoting needsupport100:

 

Quoting baparrot2:

 You can only count on that going so far. Dad might just tell her about the stuff he had planned for her and doesnt understand why you wouldnt let her go. yeah and i can do the same yeah, there could be some resentment in the future coming your way. She lives with you full time. I think you are being uber selfish. yeah, i expect YOU to think that

the thing is parrot-he and i are raising her that our lives don't stop because she isn't there-there's activities she misses out on with both of us-i GIVE her extra time with her dad-but there's a few days here and there i deny (and so does he)-it's not always HER choice, if it was, she'd probably become one of those "entitled kids" later in the future-she needs to learn that she's GONNA be told no for no apparent reason-and she doesn't need to throw a fit or be a resentmental kid because of that.

 No need to jump down my throat. No need to explain either. You asked in your poll, I answered. And just in case you are not paying attention, I'm not the only one saying this to you. Did you even pay attention to the poll YOU put up?

needsupport100
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 10:50 AM


Quoting baparrot2:

 No need to jump down my throat. No need to explain either. You asked in your poll, I answered. And just in case you are not paying attention, I'm not the only one saying this to you. Did you even pay attention to the poll YOU put up?

actually, yes i did, BUT dd is unaware of the activities and dad agreed-and i also posted that the issue is no longer debatable


rebeccasmly
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 10:51 AM

If you give him extra time throughout the year, not just the week you have spoken about, then I understand your decision. It sounds like you have had a rough summer. I know when my life is in turmoil or things are crazy, I tend to cling to my kids a lot more then normally. For me, seeing my kids okay slows the crazy down for a bit, lets me destress some. Now that doesn't mean I don't let them do things, that would be wrong. But I can see where you are coming from about wanting time with your child. It seems you and dad have already spoken and come to an agreement. You gave him an option, he chose to keep things the way they are and not have her those days.

needsupport100
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 10:51 AM


Quoting CountryStrong84:

Nope. But you are being selfish. Give him some extra time. I doubt it will hurt your child to spend more time with her father. Those are important too, you know.

i already have given him extra time-he's court ordered to have 4 total weeks-by the time this next 2 weeks is over, he'd have 5 weeks-more than half the summer-time with me is important too.

needsupport100
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 10:54 AM


Quoting rebeccasmly:

If you give him extra time throughout the year, not just the week you have spoken about, then I understand your decision. It sounds like you have had a rough summer. I know when my life is in turmoil or things are crazy, I tend to cling to my kids a lot more then normally. For me, seeing my kids okay slows the crazy down for a bit, lets me destress some. Now that doesn't mean I don't let them do things, that would be wrong. But I can see where you are coming from about wanting time with your child. It seems you and dad have already spoken and come to an agreement. You gave him an option, he chose to keep things the way they are and not have her those days.

yes we did, i told him that i'm trying to plan a few fun events myself, on MY time-and that he's already had almost a week of unordered time with her and that giving him this extra time (even though it's only 2 days) will make it harder for me to plan MY things AND get her ready to for school-by the time she comes home on the 15th i'll have 2 weekends to go play with her before it's time to start settling down and getting ready for school again (not to mention *I* am starting back at school in a few weeks, so that's even LESS available time with her)


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