I tried to keep this short..sorry.
DH's backstory: DH has 3 kids by 2 different women. He has always paid $350/mo for his DD2 but never has for DS's 9 and 10 bc when he divorced their mother he had residency (and he didn't force her to pay any). Less than a year ago DH (trying to be accomodating) gave BM1 residency of the boys with the agreement that she wouldn't ask for CS (as he did her that favor when the tables were turned). Well, she lied, took him back to court, they went to mediation and DH gave her EVERYTHING she asked for including $350/mo and less time (it was 50/50 now that it isn't she will inevitably take him back for the remainder of her support in due time) . Now Dh is paying $700/mo in CS.
My backstory: I have 3 children. My ex NEVER paid his CO CS and owed about $25,000 in back support. They began taking his taxes and he is down to owing about $4500. I have struggled on my own for 11 years to give my kids things but have never been able to give them as much as I would like. The past 2 years he has managed to keep a job and has been paying. A year ago after I married DH I went from working part time to prn and every other weekend because I went back to school (to be able to give my kids more). My work income went from $500/mo to about $250/mo. At the same time I took my ex back to court because I knew he was NOT paying me full support. It was raised from $550 to $688/mo. Adding $138 to our mo income. So, we were only actually out $112/mo by this change. Because I wasn't working as much and paying for school all of my income and their support was going towards bills. We are still struggling and have had to make a lot of sacrifices. I have finished my LPN exit and am awaiting boards so SOON it will get better! However, DH has already said that unless I work full time I cannot go on and finish my RN.
Now, the current story, I have NO IDEA where we will come up with another $350/mo! DH has assured me that HE will work harder/longer to make up for the support. BUT, now he is telling me that I have to "get rid of" my SUV (which is the only thing we have that holds all of us) PLUS he is talking about getting himself a new car! Obviously I am ticked off! I told him that once I begin working I am going to put my kids' support into a spearate acct for THEIR expenses (medical, school etc) AND that I would pay half of our monthly bills out of my check AND that I would pay off the credit card he got to help pay my tuition. But I was NOT going to sit around and let him shell out money to women who DO NOT need it (BM1 actually said she is putting it away for them when they are older and BM2 takes 3 FL vacations with her DH and their 6 kids a year!) while my kids get NOTHING! My kids already have to see how the other kids get to do so much at their mom's because they have the money to do so (even down to them having satellite while we do not)! PLUS, I had been working toward this career goal well before I met DH for MY kids!! I will be damned if they end up short ended anymore! There is so much more to the crap my kids have went through that makes me have these feelings but this is just the icing on the cake!
So what do y'all think? Am I wrong for wanting to put their money aside for them? DH says that he and his kids have sacrificed too..I don't see it..DH splurges every time they are here and the rest of the time I struggle to figure out how to feed us!
UPDATE: I called and made an appointment for us to see a counselor. They couldn't get us in any sooner than July 17. Praying we can make it that long and praying this helps! I am nervous because I have never seen a counselor before. DH has in each of his relationships (but I'M the one he says needs counseling) so I am afraid that he will just go in and say what they want to hear all the while I look like a blubbering idiot.