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Last night my dad asked me if I wanted to go to the lake. I asked my dh first because of my SD. So I asked SD if she wanted to go and she said no. Ok so I told dh is it ok to go with my DD and DS and he said yes if she said no. Ok well today he asks her and now she changed her mind and there is no room for SD and I thought she said no. So dh said I shouldn't go because she changed her mind and then he said that he didn't care. But he instists that I should like stop what I wanted because she changed her mind. Help!!!!
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by on Jul. 4, 2012 at 10:09 AM
Replies (11-20):
parisonmom
by Member on Jul. 4, 2012 at 4:34 PM
How? Had a newborn, 2 carseats me my sister and my dad in a truck. And why would he do that for


Quoting chanizen:

So unpack a little something.



Or, stick by your guns. Just be prepared. If you do this with sd, one day dh wil do this with dd and dd.



My ss says no to everything and then

Whines and changes his mind. It's part of his behavior problems and is not only annoying, but causes Jim's problems with teachers and other kids.



So I get enforcing a refusal as a refusal. Especially when it's a child trying to manipulate and control.



However, then the rule should be the same for others.



Have dh transfer some bags to the roof or drive her seperately--- it's probably and easier fix.




Quoting parisonmom:

If she told me she wanted to go last night I would of made sure there was room for her.






Quoting whatIknownow:

why was there room for her last night when you asked her, but today there is no room?




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
parisonmom
by Member on Jul. 4, 2012 at 4:36 PM
Because I.could of told my dad.


Quoting whatIknownow:

But what happened between last night and this morning, that made it impossible for you to find room for her today?


Quoting parisonmom:

If she told me she wanted to go last night I would of made sure there was room for her.





Quoting whatIknownow:

why was there room for her last night when you asked her, but today there is no room?





Posted on CafeMom Mobile
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Jul. 4, 2012 at 4:39 PM

And what would have been different if you had told him last night that she was coming?

Quoting parisonmom:

Because I.could of told my dad.


Quoting whatIknownow:

But what happened between last night and this morning, that made it impossible for you to find room for her today?


Quoting parisonmom:

If she told me she wanted to go last night I would of made sure there was room for her.





Quoting whatIknownow:

why was there room for her last night when you asked her, but today there is no room?






WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Jul. 4, 2012 at 4:47 PM

You asked his permission to take your own kids to see your Dad?

chanizen
by Platinum Member on Jul. 4, 2012 at 6:19 PM
In that case the answer is no.

But in a similar situation, the answer should be no for your kids as well. If it were dd or ds.... You should also be saying "no kid, I made plans based on you saying no. So no.

Why would that be different for his bio and not yours?

I'm saying stand your ground but only if you would definitively do this with a bio. Otherwise, it's kinda hypocrisy....


Quoting parisonmom:

How? Had a newborn, 2 carseats me my sister and my dad in a truck. And why would he do that for




Quoting chanizen:

So unpack a little something.





Or, stick by your guns. Just be prepared. If you do this with sd, one day dh wil do this with dd and dd.





My ss says no to everything and then


Whines and changes his mind. It's part of his behavior problems and is not only annoying, but causes Jim's problems with teachers and other kids.





So I get enforcing a refusal as a refusal. Especially when it's a child trying to manipulate and control.





However, then the rule should be the same for others.





Have dh transfer some bags to the roof or drive her seperately--- it's probably and easier fix.






Quoting parisonmom:

If she told me she wanted to go last night I would of made sure there was room for her.








Quoting whatIknownow:

why was there room for her last night when you asked her, but today there is no room?





Posted on CafeMom Mobile
leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Jul. 4, 2012 at 6:49 PM
Would she have asked her kids if they wanted to go?

I would just take my kids, no really give them an option but with a stepchild, I would think SM would have to ask the stepchild and their parent.
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ShannaBee
by on Jul. 4, 2012 at 7:33 PM

Keep your plans. Tell your DH that time with your kids will give him one on one time with his daughter.

parisonmom
by Member on Jul. 4, 2012 at 8:54 PM
If my DD and DS can MAKE that decision then it would be the same for them as well as SD.


Quoting chanizen:

In that case the answer is no.



But in a similar situation, the answer should be no for your kids as well. If it were dd or ds.... You should also be saying "no kid, I made plans based on you saying no. So no.



Why would that be different for his bio and not yours?



I'm saying stand your ground but only if you would definitively do this with a bio. Otherwise, it's kinda hypocrisy....




Quoting parisonmom:

How? Had a newborn, 2 carseats me my sister and my dad in a truck. And why would he do that for






Quoting chanizen:

So unpack a little something.







Or, stick by your guns. Just be prepared. If you do this with sd, one day dh wil do this with dd and dd.







My ss says no to everything and then



Whines and changes his mind. It's part of his behavior problems and is not only annoying, but causes Jim's problems with teachers and other kids.







So I get enforcing a refusal as a refusal. Especially when it's a child trying to manipulate and control.







However, then the rule should be the same for others.







Have dh transfer some bags to the roof or drive her seperately--- it's probably and easier fix.








Quoting parisonmom:

If she told me she wanted to go last night I would of made sure there was room for her.










Quoting whatIknownow:

why was there room for her last night when you asked her, but today there is no room?






Posted on CafeMom Mobile
parisonmom
by Member on Jul. 4, 2012 at 8:56 PM
First of if my DD and DS was old enough to say no or yes it would be the same UNLESS we was doing a family thing.


Quoting leegirl_jm:

Would she have asked her kids if they wanted to go?



I would just take my kids, no really give them an option but with a stepchild, I would think SM would have to ask the stepchild and their parent.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Jul. 4, 2012 at 8:56 PM

I am still trying to understand what happened between the time SD said no last night, till this morning, that caused there to be no room for her.

Since that question has not been answered, I am going to assume that nothing happened, and your refusal to take her with you this morning was based on you simply wanting to make some kind of statment and cause drama.

poor kid.

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