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How to move forward? When Paternity is comfirmed 18 years later.

Posted by on Jul. 4, 2012 at 7:40 PM
  • 11 Replies
I am married with two children ages 17 and 14. My husband and I have been together since I was fourteen and he was sixteen. We married when I was 32 and he was 34 but we have lived together for seventeen years.

My husband has an eighteen year old daughter. I have known about her since she was rumored to exist, which I was naively lead to believe at the time. During this time I was between my first year of college and home but in continuous contact with my husband (then boyfriend) as much as land lines and posted letters allowed us. When I was told of the child's existence I was also told "I don't see any possible way she can be mine, I don't remember ever being alone with that girl (the mother). "

My husband and I went out together with a select group of friends, boy and girl mixture, some still in high school. His daughter's mother was befriended by one of the girls in the group because she was having problems at home and really didn't have any friends at school. She is not someone I knew or know because she was a year behind me in school.

To be continued...
by on Jul. 4, 2012 at 7:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ShannaBee
by on Jul. 4, 2012 at 8:01 PM

I would have asked him to take a DNA test when the rumors started coming around. You stuck with him knowing that he had a rumored daughter. What advice are you seeking? She is a grown adult now, if your DH wants a relationship, he should take it very slow.

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Jul. 4, 2012 at 8:38 PM
1 mom liked this
I think you missed near disaster, the girl is an adult now, no stepchildren for you to really deal with. If the girl wants a relationship with BF, that is between them, not you.
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Mommy0505
by on Jul. 4, 2012 at 9:30 PM

Sounds like you are my stepmom!!! (That I've never met)  Except I haven't reached out to my BF yet.   I've been seriously thinking about it and even drafted up a letter, but I haven't gotten the courage to send it ... Just would be nice to see where I get some of my traits (like my brains, lol).

Good Luck!

court_1989
by on Jul. 5, 2012 at 9:26 AM
1 mom liked this
Why do people do the to be continued posts and don't Finnish story?
needsupport100
by on Jul. 5, 2012 at 9:35 AM


Quoting court_1989:

Why do people do the to be continued posts and don't Finnish story?

IKR, a lot of times i don't even bother reading the remaining when posted....


Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on Jul. 5, 2012 at 10:02 AM
Do you want to meet him? Has he tried to make contact? Just wondering. :-)

Quoting Mommy0505:

Sounds like you are my stepmom!!! (That I've never met)  Except I haven't reached out to my BF yet.   I've been seriously thinking about it and even drafted up a letter, but I haven't gotten the courage to send it ... Just would be nice to see where I get some of my traits (like my brains, lol).

Good Luck!

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Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on Jul. 5, 2012 at 10:02 AM
Like a mini series. Lol. I don Like to be continued. Unless OP fell asleep.

Quoting needsupport100:




Quoting court_1989:

Why do people do the to be continued posts and don't Finnish story?


IKR, a lot of times i don't even bother reading the remaining when posted....



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Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on Jul. 5, 2012 at 10:04 AM
Move forward from what? He lied. He has a child. Let him deal with Thier realtionship mama. Let him do what's right. You can just support his decision if he chooses to contact The girl.

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mirm99
by on Jul. 5, 2012 at 10:32 AM
I kinda agree w this.. She's not a child anymore and her mother raised her alone for 18yrs I doubt she's going to want to have a relationship w anyone trigger now but her father do I would just step back and see where time takes you again.

Quoting leegirl_jm:

I think you missed near disaster, the girl is an adult now, no stepchildren for you to really deal with. If the girl wants a relationship with BF, that is between them, not you.
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claudiaf17
by on Jul. 5, 2012 at 11:16 AM

 I agree with this !!!!! give him the support he needs to do the right thing. think of how your husbamd must feel he missed out on 18 years of his daughters life wow!  why was a paternity test not done earlier ???? to be continued ??? really ???? geezzzz!!!!

Quoting Steamedpuddle30:

Move forward from what? He lied. He has a child. Let him deal with Thier realtionship mama. Let him do what's right. You can just support his decision if he chooses to contact The girl.

 

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