SD is 8. At BM's, she pretty much does everything, cleans, takes care of her bro5, gets whatever so BM can stay on the couch, laundry, etc. Sooo when she comes over here, we find ourselves dealing with an 8y/o adult!! She tries to shadow my son, who is 17mo., to the point he gets frustrated and bites her, she tries to boss the other kids to the point that don't want crap to do with her, she tries to sweep, carpet clean, even cook!! The breaking point was when she tried to pick up my son who didn't want to be picked up, dropped him, and broke his arm!! It was NOT intentional or malicious, but I am sooo angry!! DH and I have both explained that we are VERY competent parents, and if her help is needed, we will ask for it. She just shrugs and says "This is what I do at Mommy's". We just are very frustrated!
She would drive you insane! She tries to over run the adults here b/c at BM's, she IS the adult!! She might burn your house down too, BM let her cook mac n cheese and went back to sleep, and SD caught the stove on fire!!
Quoting needsupport100:SEND HER TO MY HOUSE!
she can babysit my kids!
My 8 yo SD is kinda like that. Without having to do it for survival. ... If I had a nickle for every time I said "you are not the parent" I'd be rich. I think it's just her personality. We haven't been able to successfully break it, but have modified it so it's slightly less annoying. She'll be a good manager some day.
Quoting elisesmom922:
She would drive you insane! She tries to over run the adults here b/c at BM's, she IS the adult!! She might burn your house down too, BM let her cook mac n cheese and went back to sleep, and SD caught the stove on fire!!
then start a time out plan or something like that-and when she says i do x at mom's remind her this is DAD'S house and maybe have dad give bm a nice chat
as far as the arm break-it was an accident, my xsd broke one's arm out of just being clumsy and not paying attention-accidents happen
Well maybe make out a list of things for her to do? Once she does them, praise and tell her to go have fun. Bossing the others around may just have to take awhile to understand she isnt needed. Good luck
Lol, me too! I would be swimmin in cash! How did you make it less annoying?? I am soo tired of repeating myself, I feel like a broken record! And when I got really upset, like when she dropped him, I freaked out and really screamed at her, and I felt soo bad!
Quoting Polkadotted:My 8 yo SD is kinda like that. Without having to do it for survival. ... If I had a nickle for every time I said "you are not the parent" I'd be rich. I think it's just her personality. We haven't been able to successfully break it, but have modified it so it's slightly less annoying. She'll be a good manager some day.
We had this issue with DH's sd11 (bm's daughter)-she would boss the younger kids-but they never listened to her.
It finally got to the point DH forced her to stay home with BM (he is not her biodad nor is he required to take her) because she wouldn't obey the rules.
He resorted to other methods but I'm not one to say-start spanking or physically disciplining your skids.
Just give her some chores to focus on.
Or do what I did-banish her to her bedroom (I had no choice but to force sd11 to stay in her bed for several hours because DH wasn't able to come home to deal with her and BM refused to come get her.)
This is not her fault. She is forced into growing up fast at BM's. She does not know how to be a kid. Does she have a doll she can dote her maternal instincts on? Give her special little chores.
Step kids and extracurriculars
- elisesmom922
on Jul. 9, 2012 at 4:18 PM