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SD's BF's father is creepy! UPDATE...CREEPER IS A LIAR

Posted by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 8:00 AM
  • 11 Replies

What do you all think about this?

Sd goes to BM's (a hour and a half away)  2 weeks ago hooked up with a boy now in a relationship.   Past weekend she wanted to go again. She apparently spent the entire weekend with this boy and his father (against our wishes of course) .   We already thought the BF's father was overboard leaing messages on SD's facebook saying stuff like "if you need anything I am here for you" .. "You didnt say goodbye to me :( "   etc.  The BF never leaves her messages just the father.    Well the father went to school with my DH .. he with 7 other boys jumped my DH and beat the crap out of him.  My DH really wants nothing to do with him... not only because of that but because of SD dating this boy she is totally different disrespectful and a major attitude.   The father sent my DH a fb request 4 times saturday.. my DH kept ignoring.  My DH texted SD asking what he wants and she says "he just want to be your friend".   Well my DH has 3 of her ex bf's on ignore for fb and doesnt want to be in any kid drama.  So the Father messages my DH's best friend  and tells him to have call him (sat) then yesterday sent 4 more messages to his best friend demanding that he call and that my DH is childish, immature and selfish because they need to work out these KIDS problems!      Really kinda sick that a parent is that worried about his sons 2 week realationship with SD.   I told DH to tell him there is only one child we are concerned about and not premoting a relationship with his son nor with the boy she snuck out with on July 4th!       Really turns my stomach how this man is freaking out over trying to hook his son up with SD.    We got her out of that situation and town for a reason and this is just dragging her back into it.     DH doesnt want to call this man because he is afraid he will lose his temper with the rude comments he made to his friend.     Any suggestions on how to deal with this  ?...( we are in our 40's just all seems childish to me.) 

Update

SD admitted she stayed at her boyfriends house 3 of the 4 nights she was supposed to be at moms.  She wanted her phone back and DH said when she was honest she could have it.  After telling him the truth he responded to the creepy bf's father and he said "for whatever its worth she did not stay the night here".   I dont believe the SD would tell that tale knowing how much trouble she would be in if it were not true.  Why would the man lie though?  Really makes me think he is a bigger creeper!

 

by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 8:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
1SpaZZedMom
by Librarian on Jul. 10, 2012 at 8:16 AM

I'm really not sure how you can deal with this.

I know SD grew up until DH got custody in a home where infidelity was a BIG part of what she know's life to be. I would think that she needs to have help in this area realizing that *BOYS/men* are NOT going to fill that void she's feeling. 

What she needs to concentrate on is deepening her relationship with her father. But, who can tell a 16yo (right?) this? Not too many people.

It sounds like the son could be a cover up for the relationship with an older guy IMHO.... That is reading between the lines. And, I don't know if any other mama's will see that.... or think that. Maybe I'm reading too far into it? 

Has she known the boy and his dad for long? (same school/crowd?)

ameliacaldeira
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 12:18 PM

yeah that man is a creep ass. even if i was the girl and was cool with my boyfriends parents, interaction like that whould creep me the crap out and honestly make me feel like something sinister was going on or about to. 

but then again maybe this guy thinks this is a great way to get your Dh to be his buddy.

either way i hope she dumps the kid and walks away.

and as far as those messages go, why isnt BM mad? as a mother i would freak out. and call the cops

PinkButterfly66
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 12:23 PM
1 mom liked this

I could not follow that at all.

TempestRayne
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 12:24 PM
1 mom liked this

Very creepy. I will tell him to stop contacting DH

tiredmama42
by Silver Member on Jul. 10, 2012 at 12:36 PM


Quoting ameliacaldeira:

yeah that man is a creep ass. even if i was the girl and was cool with my boyfriends parents, interaction like that whould creep me the crap out and honestly make me feel like something sinister was going on or about to. 

but then again maybe this guy thinks this is a great way to get your Dh to be his buddy.

either way i hope she dumps the kid and walks away.

and as far as those messages go, why isnt BM mad? as a mother i would freak out. and call the cops

My DH does not want her with this boy let alone buddy up with the creeper.   The BM does not care at all 4 teenage girls have been running wild staying out all night having boys overnight.. one just had a baby.  This was his youngest and we got custody (per her begging on 6-15)  6-30 when she was supposed to be at BM's she stayed with this boy and his father at their house now she is in a relationship.  DH is livid at the BM.   Its just sick in my opinion.

ameliacaldeira
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 1:44 PM
1 mom liked this

i know its accually much more complicated, but id like to say to her- 

"fine! if all the children are no longer children and APPARENTLY able to be adults, then you can continue to support their decitions without monitary support. after all these are ADULTs making ADULT decitions about where to spend the night, who to date and when to procreate. good luck to you."

Quoting tiredmama42:


Quoting ameliacaldeira:

yeah that man is a creep ass. even if i was the girl and was cool with my boyfriends parents, interaction like that whould creep me the crap out and honestly make me feel like something sinister was going on or about to. 

but then again maybe this guy thinks this is a great way to get your Dh to be his buddy.

either way i hope she dumps the kid and walks away.

and as far as those messages go, why isnt BM mad? as a mother i would freak out. and call the cops

My DH does not want her with this boy let alone buddy up with the creeper.   The BM does not care at all 4 teenage girls have been running wild staying out all night having boys overnight.. one just had a baby.  This was his youngest and we got custody (per her begging on 6-15)  6-30 when she was supposed to be at BM's she stayed with this boy and his father at their house now she is in a relationship.  DH is livid at the BM.   Its just sick in my opinion.


sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Jul. 10, 2012 at 2:44 PM
1 mom liked this

You're not the only one that got that impression.  It seems sorta juvenile for the boy's dad to be facebooking a KID.  And some of the comments mentioned were borderline inappropriate for a 40 something to be making to a teenager.

Why would a 40 year old man take THAT kind of interest in a teenage girl???

Quoting 1SpaZZedMom:

I'm really not sure how you can deal with this.

I know SD grew up until DH got custody in a home where infidelity was a BIG part of what she know's life to be. I would think that she needs to have help in this area realizing that *BOYS/men* are NOT going to fill that void she's feeling. 

What she needs to concentrate on is deepening her relationship with her father. But, who can tell a 16yo (right?) this? Not too many people.

It sounds like the son could be a cover up for the relationship with an older guy IMHO.... That is reading between the lines. And, I don't know if any other mama's will see that.... or think that. Maybe I'm reading too far into it? 

Has she known the boy and his dad for long? (same school/crowd?)


yesmaam
by Silver Member on Jul. 10, 2012 at 3:05 PM

I assume you mean the boyfriend's dad? Maybe he's trying to reach him b/c he's accusing your SD of being premiscuous? or he thinks your SD is the problem and wants it to end? Maybe the boyfriend was on his dad's facebook?

There's no way in hell this man is pedo-ish on facebook.....

needsupport100
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 3:17 PM

A) block the guy

B)  She apparently spent the entire weekend with this boy and his father (against our wishes of course) on bm's time, it's bm's choice

C) We already thought the BF's father was overboard leaing messages on SD's facebook saying stuff like "if you need anything I am here for you" .. "You didnt say goodbye to me :( "   etc this is bad how?

this guy may be a true creep but really, on bm's time it's her decision (if i'm following it right) block the guy on facebook and all involved. and if dd wont abide by dad/your internet rules, she doesn't get on during dad's time, or she has to delete and block

 

 

tiredmama42
by Silver Member on Jul. 10, 2012 at 3:24 PM


Quoting yesmaam:

I assume you mean the boyfriend's dad? Maybe he's trying to reach him b/c he's accusing your SD of being premiscuous? or he thinks your SD is the problem and wants it to end? Maybe the boyfriend was on his dad's facebook?

There's no way in hell this man is pedo-ish on facebook.....

The Boyfriends dad is pushing for the kids to be together.  The man said my DH was "selfish for not working with him to fix these kids problems"    The kids have been together 2 weeks and my DH dont want her dating the kid and his father is pushing it.  The father is texting her, sending fb messages and calling her because he wants to invite her places with his son.  My DH took her phone away as a punishment.  

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