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Facetiming with BM in my home

Posted by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 6:42 PM
  • 115 Replies

OK so my 2 sd are here for the summer (6 weeks) they have a cell phone they share & also an I-Pod that my DH bought the 13yr. old. Since they have been with us...June 20th the BM FaceTimes them on a nightly basis. I do not care if they text or call her 24/7, but have a problem with this Facetime as my SD's walk around my home with it so BM can see my home, hear our conversations etc. This has created several nasty calls to my DH over petty crap i.e. I told girls to get off & finish dishs, girls fighting over who gets to hold i-pod during the facetiming & this was at 11pm & DH & I both get up at 6am. Am I wrong to demand no facetime during their stay with us?

by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 6:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
TempestRayne
by Donna on Jul. 11, 2012 at 6:47 PM
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I would say yes you are out of line. However, I don't see an issues with imposing limits on it, how long they can spend, how late they can go on, what chores have to be done first, etc.

sassy711
by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 6:48 PM

Yes, you are wrong.  That needs to come from DH.  Calmly explain to DH what your concerns are.  Then it is up to DH to tell his kids that Facetime should only be done in their room from ___time to ___time.  The BM may get nasty and say DH is "restricting/limiting" her time with kids...but all he has to say is that the BM can reach the kids on the cell.  DH needs to explain that the I-Pod is a privilege, not a right and if they can't follow his rules then the may need to go without it for a while (he bought it, he can take it away).  The kids are now responsible for whatever choice they make.  Problem solved...maybe.  Good luck

Mommyofmany7
by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 6:49 PM
1 mom liked this

So you would be ok if the BM in your situation was able to see you home, your conversations etc on a daily basis? Then call your DH & lay into him over things that happen in your home on your time?

Quoting TempestRayne:

I would say yes you are out of line. However, I don't see an issues with imposing limits on it, how long they can spend, how late they can go on, what chores have to be done first, etc.


GlockMom
by Platinum Member on Jul. 11, 2012 at 6:56 PM
1 mom liked this
If SM told DD to get off the phone with me for any reason I would be pissed. Maybe you should maybe not try dictating to them when they need to talk to her. And no, I have no reason to worry about either BM seeing my home on FaceTime. Unless you are embarrassed of the way it looks I don't see why a person would be so worried about it. She can hear all the same stuff you or your DH says on a regular phone call as they can with Face Time.
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TempestRayne
by Donna on Jul. 11, 2012 at 6:57 PM

She already does see our home on a daily basis, I take care of my SD and her younger sister while BM is at work. In your situation though, I would say that I don't think it's right to cut off that line of communication, but that you can instill boundaries.

Quoting Mommyofmany7:

So you would be ok if the BM in your situation was able to see you home, your conversations etc on a daily basis? Then call your DH & lay into him over things that happen in your home on your time?

Quoting TempestRayne:

I would say yes you are out of line. However, I don't see an issues with imposing limits on it, how long they can spend, how late they can go on, what chores have to be done first, etc.



Mommyofmany7
by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 6:58 PM
2 moms liked this

I would not have an issue with the Facetimne if BM wasn't always out to try to find things that happen in my home. She does it only to get info about what is going on in my home, I have heard what she asks about "what's the hot topic of the weeK" or go walk in the kitchen let me see where I or DH are at. She has done this in the past & I don't think we should be subject to this. I am not saying they can not talk or text or whenever they feel the need but why is it wrong to not want the BM in my home??

Quoting sassy711:

Yes, you are wrong.  That needs to come from DH.  Calmly explain to DH what your concerns are.  Then it is up to DH to tell his kids that Facetime should only be done in their room from ___time to ___time.  The BM may get nasty and say DH is "restricting/limiting" her time with kids...but all he has to say is that the BM can reach the kids on the cell.  DH needs to explain that the I-Pod is a privilege, not a right and if they can't follow his rules then the may need to go without it for a while (he bought it, he can take it away).  The kids are now responsible for whatever choice they make.  Problem solved...maybe.  Good luck


Mommyofmany7
by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 7:02 PM

No one is trying to dictate to them when they can  talk to her but if it is 11 pm & they are fighting & slamming doors damn stright I am going to say get off & go to bed! No not embarrassed of my home but it is exactly that MY HOME not hers. When the SK are home with her they are required to be on speaker phone so she can hear the conversation between sk & dh....oh well I guess not everyone has had to deal with a narrsastic bitch like I have had to the last 12 yrs.

Quoting GlockMom:

If SM told DD to get off the phone with me for any reason I would be pissed. Maybe you should maybe not try dictating to them when they need to talk to her. And no, I have no reason to worry about either BM seeing my home on FaceTime. Unless you are embarrassed of the way it looks I don't see why a person would be so worried about it. She can hear all the same stuff you or your DH says on a regular phone call as they can with Face Time.


GlockMom
by Platinum Member on Jul. 11, 2012 at 7:12 PM
I promise, my oldest SS BM was the worst ever. I still wouldn't have stepped in like that. I let DH deal with SS and her. No overstepping equals no issues. Letting it bother you let's her have a lot of power over your home. Let it go, this is not a hill worth dying on. Unless like I said there is a real reason that BM being on FaceTime exists. My house is immaculate and I don't discipline the boys, so BM can have all the Face Time she wants.


Quoting Mommyofmany7:

No one is trying to dictate to them when they can  talk to her but if it is 11 pm & they are fighting & slamming doors damn stright I am going to say get off & go to bed! No not embarrassed of my home but it is exactly that MY HOME not hers. When the SK are home with her they are required to be on speaker phone so she can hear the conversation between sk & dh....oh well I guess not everyone has had to deal with a narrsastic bitch like I have had to the last 12 yrs.


Quoting GlockMom:

If SM told DD to get off the phone with me for any reason I would be pissed. Maybe you should maybe not try dictating to them when they need to talk to her. And no, I have no reason to worry about either BM seeing my home on FaceTime. Unless you are embarrassed of the way it looks I don't see why a person would be so worried about it. She can hear all the same stuff you or your DH says on a regular phone call as they can with Face Time.



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packermomof2
by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 7:22 PM

It isn't petty when you told her kids to stop talking to her so they could wash the dishes.  That can wait and it isn't your place to tell a kid that your chores are more important than talking to their parent.

Tammydog
by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 7:30 PM
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All I can say is, TAKE BACK CONTROL OF YOUR HOME and your 'guests'. I would NOT allow that shit in my home, not the way you are describing.

YOU have a right to feel at peace in your own home and I think it's ludicrous to let kids rule parents in this manner. The fact that BM instructs them to follow you and dh around is enough to cancel this privileged ...just sayin'
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