I would like to see a shift from the perspective that stepmom is the "other woman" in the family.
.....a family is made and then the mom and dad split to form a new familys separately creating a new dynamic. When a woman marries a man with kids she and the man are creating a family seperate from the origeinal woman. Sometimes it is hard for kids to adjust to this but never the less, they are part of two new intact families and not one broken home.
The idea that the woman who is trying to form a family with her husband and step children is someone who has no say in her own home in anything is something like a second class citizen. The man choose to make a life with this women after all. He decided to join her to make a family. He made a choice. If his x wife /kids dont like it to bad. Thats divorce. The family (the new one) needs to move forward standing by that choice(marriage ) Should the current wife be onlu referred to as the stepmom in the family dynamic? Their is so much more to a woman than her relationship to the kids. She is an adult. She has her own extended family, often her own kids, she is a wife, she has responsibilities, and she is her own damn person.
As a grown woman, she has a right to a quiet house while she sleeps. A home with respect. A home with disCipline. She has a right to her husband. A right to make her own decisions. A right to be the stepmom. She is a homeowner or lease holder too.
The family can never survive if it is always teetering between old and new, and centered upon the wants of fickle children and a meddling x wife.
What do you think?
Why do you think that women on cm often think a sm should have no say in her home?
Do you really feel that the dh should manage the relationship between sm and skids to tge point where the kids are taking advantage and sm should consider herself a babysitter?
on Jul. 12, 2012 at 1:55 AM