I am a step mom to 5 kids 15-24 yrs of age. The 15 year olds are twins boy and girl they are the ones I have the most problems with. The 15 yr old girl lived with us my husband got custody of her because she hates her mom. Well, now she hates me!! The problem is she hates rules and NO ONE makes her follow them!!! She moves out again 2 months ago. I found out she was running her mouth again spreading lies about me and I confronted her about it, not in a yelling match or anything at he kitchen table with her father. I also found out she is drinking and smoking. All she would do is say idk and shrug her shoulders! Now, she wants nothing to do with her father since he chose me over her, so what do I do??? This is just the latest problem with his kids. His oldest son stole money from my son ( I have one child 18) and was never made to repay, he is working. His 15 yr old son was allowed to call my son names on the internet and was never made to remove or punished in anyway. His 21 yr old heroin addict daughter moved in with us for awhile to get "clean" to just bring her habits here and put my son in danger with her tweeked out friends who also tried to steal from my son!!! Tried to steal his motorcycle and tried to get him in a car alone with them!! I called cops of course now she wants nothing to do with me. The only one that has not screwed me over is his oldest daughter but I fear being around her for the sins of the others. This is just my life in a nut shell.
We have only been married 9 months, he moved into my house with his kids. I have no say over his kids and what they do. They have no respect for me or my home. The only time I am in the picture is when they want something, only because our money is joint. But they don't want to see me or be around me.
Any advice??? I just can't take much more. There have been so many other things that I feel my husband has let his children do. It does hurt my feelings because I don't feel I deserve to be treated like this. All I did was open my home and tried to make everyone comfortable and make them feel at home to the point where I don't feel like it is my home anymore.
Sorry for the rambling...I am all alone in a house that used to be mine :(
I just read that SD21 brings her tweaker friends over to your place too. I'd instate a "no visitors" policy in the house and that if she wants to see her friends, she can go out and do it. Last thing you need is that kind of nonsense in your house...drug addicts have VERY sticky fingers.
Really? Stating the obvious is an issue for you?
Uhhh.....they didn't get that way over night - her DH was a problem long before the wedding vows were said. No one is saying that everything's perfect in ANY world, but c'mon - OP's addressed the problem, figured it out and now this poster wants to know what she plans to DO about the problem?
Does she want to complain about how awful it is or put her freakin' foot down? THIS IS ALL a DH issue - he's to freakin' wishy washy and allowing them to ALL run all over BOTH of them. If he doesn't see it as a problem, she can sit in it and remain a hostage in HER home or she can boot his ass out w/his ungrateful children - they apparently had a home prior to 9 months ago....
If he is interested in fixing his problem then they work on it together.
Quoting LISAMORRISON1:
Comments like this make me want to scream. Glad everything has always been.perfect in your world.
Quoting alissaplusthree:You opened your home, and he does not care about how his children treat you. What does that say?
This is the man you chose to marry. I have to assume you knew beforehand that he had problem children. If not, well now you do.
Now that you see how things are going to be, what choice do you think you should make now?
Quoting whatIknownow:wow, what a mess. I would probably kick them all out. and go back to dating your DH. He can live with his kids and deal with them. Then when they are all grown and out of the house, he can come back and you can live as husband and wife again. But right now I think his priority should be his kids. And they have a lot of issues, so he should devote himself to dealing with them.
Quoting AmyB118:Really? Stating the obvious is an issue for you?
Uhhh.....they didn't get that way over night - her DH was a problem long before the wedding vows were said. No one is saying that everything's perfect in ANY world, but c'mon - OP's addressed the problem, figured it out and now this poster wants to know what she plans to DO about the problem?
Does she want to complain about how awful it is or put her freakin' foot down? THIS IS ALL a DH issue - he's to freakin' wishy washy and allowing them to ALL run all over BOTH of them. If he doesn't see it as a problem, she can sit in it and remain a hostage in HER home or she can boot his ass out w/his ungrateful children - they apparently had a home prior to 9 months ago....
If he is interested in fixing his problem then they work on it together.
Quoting LISAMORRISON1:
Comments like this make me want to scream. Glad everything has always been.perfect in your world.
Quoting alissaplusthree:You opened your home, and he does not care about how his children treat you. What does that say?
This is the man you chose to marry. I have to assume you knew beforehand that he had problem children. If not, well now you do.
Now that you see how things are going to be, what choice do you think you should make now?
Nope - read it all and responded. What other replies should've swayed my opinion?
Quoting LISAMORRISON1:
Girl there was more replies to this where I agreed with her. Guess you responded before you got to that.
Quoting AmyB118:Really? Stating the obvious is an issue for you?
Uhhh.....they didn't get that way over night - her DH was a problem long before the wedding vows were said. No one is saying that everything's perfect in ANY world, but c'mon - OP's addressed the problem, figured it out and now this poster wants to know what she plans to DO about the problem?
Does she want to complain about how awful it is or put her freakin' foot down? THIS IS ALL a DH issue - he's to freakin' wishy washy and allowing them to ALL run all over BOTH of them. If he doesn't see it as a problem, she can sit in it and remain a hostage in HER home or she can boot his ass out w/his ungrateful children - they apparently had a home prior to 9 months ago....
If he is interested in fixing his problem then they work on it together.
Quoting LISAMORRISON1:
Comments like this make me want to scream. Glad everything has always been.perfect in your world.
Quoting alissaplusthree:You opened your home, and he does not care about how his children treat you. What does that say?
This is the man you chose to marry. I have to assume you knew beforehand that he had problem children. If not, well now you do.
Now that you see how things are going to be, what choice do you think you should make now?
Quoting rose0919:your home your rules. and your dh needs to follow them, by making his kids follow them. he needs to stand up to them. anyone over 18 needs to get out. block all of them from each other on fb. and if sd doesnt like the rules then she can go back to bm.
if dh wont follow the rules by making his kids follow them . then he goes too. send him on his way with his kids. its only 9 months so its not a lifetime. pack all of their crap including dh's and set it outsside.
Quoting AmyB118:Nope - read it all and responded. What other replies should've swayed my opinion?
Quoting LISAMORRISON1:
Girl there was more replies to this where I agreed with her. Guess you responded before you got to that.
Quoting AmyB118:Really? Stating the obvious is an issue for you?
Uhhh.....they didn't get that way over night - her DH was a problem long before the wedding vows were said. No one is saying that everything's perfect in ANY world, but c'mon - OP's addressed the problem, figured it out and now this poster wants to know what she plans to DO about the problem?
Does she want to complain about how awful it is or put her freakin' foot down? THIS IS ALL a DH issue - he's to freakin' wishy washy and allowing them to ALL run all over BOTH of them. If he doesn't see it as a problem, she can sit in it and remain a hostage in HER home or she can boot his ass out w/his ungrateful children - they apparently had a home prior to 9 months ago....
If he is interested in fixing his problem then they work on it together.
Quoting LISAMORRISON1:
Comments like this make me want to scream. Glad everything has always been.perfect in your world.
Quoting alissaplusthree:You opened your home, and he does not care about how his children treat you. What does that say?
This is the man you chose to marry. I have to assume you knew beforehand that he had problem children. If not, well now you do.
Now that you see how things are going to be, what choice do you think you should make now?
your house, your rules, and if dh doesn't understand this, or accept and enforce this then he has no respect for you!!!...obvioulsy his (and bm's) lack of disaplain of their kids has produced some very productive and respectful young adults (note sarcasm)....i'd kick all the skids out, and have a serious little chat with dh on his obviouls lack of respect for me!
good luck
Very Proud!!!!!!
- ottino
on Jul. 15, 2012 at 10:03 AM