My name is Coni, I am 46, I am married for the second time for almost 5 years, we have been together nearly 7 years. First husband passed away from a genetic disorder and we had 2 children, they are a 20 year old son and an almost 15 year old daughter. My new husband has 2 boys, a newly graduated 18 year old and a 12 year old. Their mother decided about 6 months afer my husband and I got together she no longer wanted the youngest boy. She was remarried with a new daughter, wanted to keep the older boy, did not want the younger, he moved in with us. There was verbal abuse in that home and all of the residual anger felt by their Mom toward their Dad was given to the youngest as he had ADHD and I think it made him an easy target for anger. When he came to us he was a mess, 45 minute screaming fits, he hit, screamed, did sneaky things, no impulse control, lied, got in trouble constantly at school. Basic menace. He is soooo smart, clever, funny. We have gotten him 99 miles of the 100 he needed to go but I find that I am exhausted by him and now feel resentful toward him. His father feels sorry for him, thinks he is the greatest thing ever and protects him from everything. He got a cell phone for his birthday and now uses it to tattle on me when I am doing something he thinks is unfair. I am so done I do not want to be around him at all. I do not hate him, he is a good kid for the most part, I think I am just seriously resentful after having spent 5+ years being his mother and raising him almost 100%. My husband was never much of a father before I showed up and is learning, but he never did anything before me. No making sure teeth were brushed, showers were taken, homework was done, etc. He didn't go to sport events if it wasn't "his" weekend, now he does all of it as I am that kind of Mom. I have raised his youngest, I know that I am a huge part in his becoming the much better child he is, but now I seem to simply be in the way. Now I get accused of being "mean" and it amy even be partly true as I have lost all patience with the constantly having to be the only parent in the house. The boy has learned how to play his Dad and does it. I don't think at this point it is a conscience manipulation, he isn't calculating, but I am weary of what it could become. For all of this and more I don't want to be in the same house with him. He is coming home tonight from a week with his Mom and I do not want to see him. I hate feeling like this. My husband isn't easy to talk to, he gets defensive fast and conversations about one child always turn into a my child versus your child situation. Thus I haven't said a word. I feel stuck. I am expected to be the parent but only if my husband approves and I can't parent this way. It is either I do it all and am left alone or he partners with me and we do it together not against each other.