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S/O of BFather in the hospital....

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Many of you have said that you would want to be there for your children if their BF was in the hospital, so you would want a phone call from the SM instead of taking the kids to the hospital.  I have a question about a situation that happened a while ago in our fam and just would like your opinions... (again, this happened a while ago and we can't change anything tha thappened, but since people said they would want to be there for their kids, I just though it would be interesting to see what people would have done in our sitch)

Anyway, a few years ago, SD's uncle (BM's brother) passed away very unexpectedly.  Dh only found out because he noticed that BM put a bunch of pics of her brother on Facebook.  Thinking that something was going on, he googled the brother's name and found out that he had died in a car accident a couple days prior.  Dh promptly called his DD and BM to offer condolensces and we sent flowers and cards to SD and BM and family.  We did not hear from SD or BM for 2 weeks after all of this and by then, BM told Dh not to talk to SD about it since she was trying to heal and bringing it up brought back sad feelings... (SD was 7 at the time)

Here's my question...how would you guys have dealt with this?  DH was very upset that he was not allowed the opportunity to support his DD through such a difficult time (SD was very close to this uncle). He was also upset that BM never called him to inform him of what was going on. He had to find out through his own research and by reading the newspaper articles.  Do you guys think BM should have called to inform DH that his DD's uncle had passed and that she was having a tough time?? Btw, we are in a long distance situation, so driving to her house to see SD wasn't an option.

army       teen girl          toddler boy           baby in sling

Army Wife, step-mom to 11y/o girl, and momma to 3y/o & 9mo boys









by on Jul. 21, 2012 at 7:11 AM
Replies (11-12):
Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Jul. 21, 2012 at 10:49 AM

In  our situation-BM's family would have called Dh personally. Since he still keeps in touch with them-NOT BM (her family banished her when she cheated on DH)

Point is-if the father's involved-then yes BM should have spoke up-maybe not right away-but within a few days.

JacyB
by Bronze Member on Jul. 21, 2012 at 8:44 PM

I don't think those are remotely comparable situations. There was no reason for her to call your husband about it unless she felt like it. In the other scenario, it was the child's parent AND the kid was at the hospital for it. I also think it's good practice to allow a child to express their grief in their own way and in their own time so advising him not to bring it up was wise. 

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