Okay, so....I'm 6 months pregnant with my first and my BF has a 13 year old daughter. She lives in Wisconsin (where BF is from) and we live in Virginia. Mid-August, BF and I are going to Michigan (where I am from) because my friends are throwing me a baby shower. BF and BM have legal joint custody, but he never gets to see her now that we've moved to Virginia. Okay, I understand the distance is a little much and she doesn't want to put her on a plane unsupervised. I get that. Technically, I guess, BM is suppose to meet us halfway for all visits. When he lived in Wisconsin, she moved 3 hours away and he had to meet her halfway for visitation. Yes, I get that halfway between Wisconsin and Virginia is quite different from the 3 hour trip between the two cities they lived in before. So...since we are going to be in Michigan, BF asked if BM would be willing to bring his daughter over to Michigan so he could visit with her while we were up that way. She said that if he wanted her to bring her the whole way over, he needed to give her gas money for the whole trip. Of course that ticked us both off. We are already driving 18 hours and paying our own way, now she wants us to pay her way as well?!?! WTF?!?!? After doing some talking between he and I, we decided to make a trip back over to Wisconsin to visit some of his friends while we were up that way and just extend the trip a little bit. So, he calls BM and tells her that he will be in his hometown on that Sunday and asked if she would bring her down since it's only 3 hours away instead of asking her to drive all the way to Michigan. Her reply?? "Well, you still need to pay me gas money for the trip." He told her that was out of the question since we are already spending way too much money on the trip in the first place and if he wanted to be able to take his daughter shopping or out to eat while they visit, he wouldn't be able to afford to give her the gas money. She said that if he couldn't pay her gas, then she wasn't making the trip and if he really wanted to see his daughter, he would make the extra 3 hour trip.
I am beyond angry at this point. I know it's "just three hours," but three hours is actually six round-trip plus however many hours he wants to spend with his daughter so you might as well tack on ANOTHER day to our road trip which means ANOTHER day off work for both of us and ANOTHER night at a hotel. If we don't bend to her will, she's going to make us out to be the badguys and fill his daughter's head with "he doesn't care about you. he's too busy with his new life. he was only three hours away and wouldn't even come see you" bullshit that she already pulls. He doesn't have a lawyer on retainer for this stupid custody crap so our hands are tied as far as what we can do about all this. We just have to keep taking it. The trip is a little less than a month away (we asked to meet her on August 20th) and she's saying that she can't scrape up any gas money between now and then??? For real???? I just want to scream!! I feel so helpless as I watch his heart be put through the freaking wringer everytime BM has a moodswing. This is getting to be too much!!! What do I do?!?!