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would you pay his child support? update

If dh lost his job would you pay his child support? Mine just did and he happens to pay out the same amount I'm getting for my daughter so he suggested giving it to his ex. I don't feel I should do that. It is my daughters support money and I don't feel I should pay it out of my checks either. What would you do?

Update:
Just to clarify no my job isn't enough to pay our bills plus that. And as some of you have said my daughter needs things too. He already got mad at me when I told him I can't buy their school clothes and supplies
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by on Jul. 23, 2012 at 5:02 PM
Replies (51-60):
Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on Jul. 24, 2012 at 2:33 AM
Wow and she didn't feel bad for this? I don't get why someone would take money that wasn't theres and be a decent human being!!!!!

This upsets me. This happened to my Dh also.(he got into a car wreck and BM still wanted her $ while he was in the hospital,and Dh got skids 50/50 EOW. I thought how repulsive can someone be to be so damn mean??!!!


Quoting momofcg:

Yep I did it for 2 yrs. I worked overtime to be able to. Didn't like it but it was a bill that needed to be paid. I definatly became resentful at times when his ex would ask for extras. My situation was a little different if I had to do it again help no. But that is because at the end of the 2 yrs she got a big fat retro check from the government off of his benefits. Basically she got paid twice
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amanda_mom89
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2012 at 2:39 AM
DH was a SAHD for 4 months when I first went back to work after having our daughter. I paid his child support then.

But that's very different from your situation because he didn't lose his job..that's what was best for our family at the time.

Now I pay all of our bills out of our money so I guess I technically still pay it. We don't have his money/my money.

In your sitch, I would probably try to cover it if I could afford to. But He better be making an effort to get another job. I wouldn't just jump to offer to pay it
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Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on Jul. 24, 2012 at 2:56 AM
Lol. Me too. I just wonder why BM diesnt pick up the slack? Not only BMs but bps thats ex's lost Thier job lets say due to the economy and it really isn't Thier fault.

Why wouldn't BP just pick up the school supplies bill? You
Know dad can't. So just do it.

Ya,he should be sending BM some messages and maybe they can work something out.


Quoting mamaofficer:

Hold up, when you updated your post, are you saying he's mad because he wants you to buy his other kids school supplies? What the hell is their mama doing, he should be sending the message to their mama!!!! Do BM works? This post is making me mad and its not even my problem!!!!
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Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on Jul. 24, 2012 at 2:58 AM
But this is your guys together. Isn't cs kind of like the skid? Not my kid not my probelm. stay away from anything to do w cs? I don't raise my skids so why would I have to contribute to the cs? This should be between the parents of the kid no? Just thinking out Loud:)

Quoting mom2boys664:

I always did, I think when you are married you shoulder these burdens together. If it was his car payment would you do it?
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Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on Jul. 24, 2012 at 3:01 AM
I think BM (or if it was vice versa) should support the kids 100%. ESP w EOW.

Why doesn't she just pay for the kids stuff instead of hurting 2 households? I say this bc my Dh is EOW (50/50) also and BM should just suck it up and be financially responsible for the kids. What would she do w out cs? Not buy the kids stuff? I hope not.


Quoting Manda12702:

My husband is unemployed right now and starting up his own business which is his dream. I refuse to pay his support. It is not my bill and they are not my kids, BM cannot have my money. I provide for the kids when they are here (50/50) but that is all. She should be able to support her own children on her own time.

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Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on Jul. 24, 2012 at 3:09 AM
That's nice of you To pick up his financial stuff for your kid. May I ask of he's a "good parent" why not just tell him To not pay until he gets back on his feet?

I mean supposedly if y'all were married(respectively speaking of course bc I've heard this so many times before on here) you'd have to PU the tab no? Not Sm? It's something you'd figure out together.

I guess I don't get this part. Bc I hear well cs is for the standard of living. If parent's had stayed together,ect itd be that op would be pick up the finances.



Quoting ROBIN-C:

 what it comes down to is that its just another bill, doesnt matter that its 'his bill' - would you make his car payment? his cell payment? i would think you would want to make sure the child, although not yours, is taken care of.


plus catching up months later sucks! and not paying CS comes with consequences like jail or intercepting tax returns etc. so why not pay it if you can afford it? doesnt matter that its for his kids, its his bill that needs to be paid.


now at same time it might not hurt to talk to mom if paid directly and see if she can cut him some slack temporarily.


my ex is unemployed right now and i dont get full CS every month, but i dont complain cuz i know he tries to get me the full amount.

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Pero1
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 4:45 AM

It depends on so many factors ... over here, once you are unemployed it's fairly easy to have the payment altered (to zero or a nominal amount). Depending on my DF's relationship with his child and his ex and his ex's financial situation, I'd probably try my very best to at least release some of the money to BM.

crazymomoffour2
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 9:48 AM

I would. I have to pay for my son right now til I get custody of him and my dh pays for me.

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Jul. 24, 2012 at 10:10 AM

That's because you're nice Steamed!

The BM in my situation, MIGHT give fiance' a break if he lost his job...he most certainly would probably want to help HER out if she lost hers (not to the extent that he'd pay her mortgage...but I'm sure he'd either take the girls more or kick in more support for awhile).  But there's enough bad blood between them that she'd probably just tell him "TOUGH, figure out a way to pay it...not my problem".  Hope we never actually have to find out which way she'd go.

Quoting Steamedpuddle30:

In general nt to you sandee-but why wouldn't BM or BP just give them
A break and be "nice"?

I'd respect that BP lost Thier job and I as a BM would hate for the payee to lose his license bc he lost his job

I'd just tell him you can pay me when u star working again. (if dad was an involved dad). Give him/her a break. And just re adjust my money bc sad out of work would be hard enough. IMO.


Quoting sandeeyo:

This, I would do this.  I'd rather that fiance' had his driver's license, not have his passport revoked, and stay out of jail.


Quoting WifeyC:

I paid as much as I could for as long as I could.



WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Jul. 24, 2012 at 10:15 AM


Quoting crazymomoffour2:

I would. I have to pay for my son right now til I get custody of him and my dh pays for me.


Why don't you have custody of him?

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