Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

would you pay his child support? update

If dh lost his job would you pay his child support? Mine just did and he happens to pay out the same amount I'm getting for my daughter so he suggested giving it to his ex. I don't feel I should do that. It is my daughters support money and I don't feel I should pay it out of my checks either. What would you do?

Update:
Just to clarify no my job isn't enough to pay our bills plus that. And as some of you have said my daughter needs things too. He already got mad at me when I told him I can't buy their school clothes and supplies
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Jul. 23, 2012 at 5:02 PM
Replies (61-70):
Aurora-Dove
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 10:18 AM

Yes I would, Not because I'm a pushover blah blah, but because I love my step daughter and wouldn't want her to have to go without because her dad is going through a hard time. There is no court ordered agreement he just give money as needed, so if SD was in need of anything, yes I absolutely would do as much as possible for her.

mommy2two25
by Member on Jul. 24, 2012 at 10:21 AM
Honestly... no I wouldn't. Its hard to say when your not in that situation but I would feel that is his financial obligation. I would help out with school supplies & things for the child but not give his ex money. When he gets another job or unemployment then it will get caught up.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
crazymomoffour2
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 10:21 AM
I was in an abusive marriage with his father who was controlling along with his mother being controlling. she took custody of him and made a bunch of lies up about me and how I live. He's in Ny and I'm about an hr away in pa, but ny makes it really hard to gain custody of a child back, and she has the courts and his law guardian wrapped around her little finger. she even had them accusing my 3 yr old sd for sexually molesting him...he was 4 yrs old at the time, and my 3 yr old doesn't even know about them parts!
SassyMom25
by Silver Member on Jul. 24, 2012 at 10:25 AM
My response was totally hypothetical, lol. I'm a SAHM right now so my suggestion wouldn't even work for us. If CS was paid directly, and BF had always been on time then I would consider letting it go till he got another job. Of course there are those people that you can't give an inch to either.

If it was done through the state I'm not sure what could be done to helped fix this issue immediately. I would hope that BF would receive unemployment to help with some of it and be actively looking for another job.

In our case, BM is NCP and won't keep a job past the grace period when they start taking CS out. My ex doesn't pay CS either.


Quoting Steamedpuddle30:

This is a good answer. I'd do it for these reasons but honestly if BM or bd were doing ok and BP is involved I think I'd give the BP paying cs a "break". Come on he lost his job! I don't think someone should totally depend on cs.

The other parent should definitely be able to get by w out cs and let the ex get back on his feet. IMO.

I would feel bad taking $ away or letting it go to arreages if they lost Thier job. No? Not you sassy. Just in general.




Quoting SassyMom25:

It would depend on my job and if it would cover the bills otherwise. Then I would want reimbursed for what I paid.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
wkdwytch
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 11:35 AM

I have done this and would do it going forward. We don't have his, hers, ours money. I didn't ask him to go for a modification the last time because he got a job pretty quickly (I think it was like 3 weeks or something and it happened right at tax time.) If it was going to be long term (or if I wasn't sure) i would have him fole for unemployment and then a mod, bringing proof he filed for unemployment and how much he would be getting.

I would cut back where I could if I had to. He helps pay for my kids when I don't get what I am supposed to so I don't feel he should be punished, especially because it would affect our HH if he lost his license or had some other punishment.

evilangel198431
by Member on Jul. 24, 2012 at 12:37 PM
I do but I don't make enough to cover all the house bills and that too. I have to use some of dds child support to help pay rent


Quoting liltigersmom:

Op do you work?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
evilangel198431
by Member on Jul. 24, 2012 at 12:40 PM
No because I can't afford to. His car is also not going to get paid


Quoting mom2boys664:

I always did, I think when you are married you shoulder these burdens together. If it was his car payment would you do it?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Jul. 24, 2012 at 12:41 PM

Just based on what you've posted about your DH and how ENTITLED he seems to be that he believes HE is entitled to the money you receive to support your child, I would probably NOT be thinking about whether I should pay for his child support or not.  I'd be looking into an exit plan and trying to figure out how.  Also, if the shoe were on the other foot, would HE give up his CS to help you pay yours?  Doesn't sound like he would.


liltigersmom
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 5:53 PM
So how will you all survive?

I'm not saying you should buck up and pay it, but if you lost your job, and cs didn't cover your dd and your expenses, than what? Would your dh help out? Or would he just say, hell no not my kid, she don't help with mine, that's her problem?



Quoting evilangel198431:

I do but I don't make enough to cover all the house bills and that too. I have to use some of dds child support to help pay rent




Quoting liltigersmom:

Op do you work?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
JP-StrongForTwo
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 5:58 PM

He is my husband. there for his children are my children and i love them too. so yes. i would. and i would hope that me and the bio mom would have a good relationship as well. like i do with my daughters step mom. it shouldnt come down to 'whos responsible' it should come down to 'lets take care of these children TOGETHER' including ALL parents involved. step and bio alike. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)