Handling teen daughter's disrespect toward her Step-dad
My DH is good to my daughter and enjoys having her around. She is brutally honest sometimes and he likes that and never says anything to me about it, but I find it brutally rude sometimes and am getting embarrassed as I see it escalating on her part. For instance, yesterday she told him his son was "creeping" on her instagram. He is 21 and we all went on vacation together in the spring. They didn't talk that much and it is really no big deal, she just posted a picture and he "liked" it. She said it was weird because his picture came up but no name. I don't know anything about that kind of stuff but told her maybe he thinks he "knows" her (since she is his step sister!) and he was just saying the picture was cool, and you know maybe trying to make some kind of friendly contact. Anyway, she just acted to DH like his son was a weirdo. She says his other son is weird too because he doesn't talk to her.
She says DH thinks he's funny, and I laugh and go along with it at her expense. Nobody can tease her about anything without her going off and getting nasty about it. I've tried talking to her after each incident but it doesn't stop and she always says he starts it with his comments. One was she couldn't find the pizza cutter and he suggested it might be in her bedroom. Totally possible because she eats in there constantly. She got mad and just said hatefully, "Alright you all just don't start." He just ignored it and let her go. When I tell her she's rude she then acts hurt and will cry because her mom is taking her stepdad's side and making her more left out of the picture. MY DH would love to have a closer relationship with her but she is so guarded at best and mean at worst. I wish I knew how to make it better.