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Ugh step kids

Posted by on Jul. 28, 2012 at 9:04 AM
  • 83 Replies
So my step son is a brat. He is the only child with his mom. The only grandchild to both sets so everyone else asks what he wants to eat and he gets it. Asks him what he wants to watch and that's what happens. It is his world and we all merely exist to please him. How can I not want to choke the little brat when I take great pride in teaching my 3 to show respect. Teach manners. Pray at the dinner table. To love each other and share. He gets none of this and when I try he lies to me. He peed on my floor in front of me last night and lied when I yelled he said "I didn't do it" I have never wanted to beat a child so badly. I can't stand him. He reeks havoc on my household and my kids don't like him. He is a brat in every sense of the word. Help me! I'm ready to walk away from the greatest guy ever because I can't love his kid. Please bring me down from my perch of hate
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by on Jul. 28, 2012 at 9:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
CoochieLibre
by on Jul. 28, 2012 at 9:58 AM
5 moms liked this

Those are some pretty harsh words to be saying about a child. How old is he? 

You talk about praying, teaching respect, loving each other, etc then talk about how you want to beat him, you can't stand him and he's a brat. Your feelings don't mesh with what you're trying to teach. 

Rachel0626
by on Jul. 28, 2012 at 11:41 AM
1 mom liked this

 I understand where you are coming from here. Thou I agree your words are a little harsh. My SS's are very out of control but you just have to remember that its not the child fault that it behaves like that, its the parents and grandparent's fault. Children do as they are taught. Show him the fun, joy and love you and your children can bring him and maybe he will come around. You cant fight fire with fire when it comes to children. Trust me one day he will see what you was trying to teach me and he will thank you. I hope it all works out. just hang in there and keep your cool.

badged54
by on Jul. 28, 2012 at 12:07 PM
That is my issue. My feelings for this child are so torn. And I think a lot of it is because I know I'm the only one who even tries. His grandparents on both sides and his birth mom let him do whatever he wants. I know I'm holding him responsible for their mistakes. But that is my issue. That is exactly it. My kids are taught to share. He is not. So he throws fits and hits when it is not what he wants. I can't keep my cool. I can't because he gets no reinforcement. We only see him for 24 hours every 2 weeks because that's all we are allowed per the birth mom. So what do I do? Do I let him run the house or make him listen which means he goes home and complains he hates it here cause we are mean and both mom and my husbands mom say "you don't have to go over there anymore. I know daddy's mean. He makes you listen"
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sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Jul. 28, 2012 at 12:20 PM

Wow. 

BrandiGra
by Bronze Member on Jul. 28, 2012 at 12:23 PM

SO he is in your home 4 days a month-- can't you find something to do that keeps you and your kids away from him?

WHere was his father when he peed on the floor? DId you make him clean it up? I would have.

Rachel0626
by on Jul. 28, 2012 at 12:41 PM
1 mom liked this

 I understand you feel stuck. You don't feel like you have the right to discipline the boy right? Id tell your husband that from now on since you only get the boy 4 days a month that he need to find a way to be at home more those days. I'd make it a point to let him know everything the boy does when he isn't listening and show him how it is affecting your kid. Wake him up and let him see what really is going on in his house.HE needs to talk to every one involved and let them know what really is going on make it stop. That boy is half his ... its his responsibly  to raise his son up right, not the grandparents. Its the mother and fathers job. Everyone else is there for love and support.

AmyB118
by NA Rocks on Jul. 28, 2012 at 1:06 PM


Quoting badged54:

That is my issue. My feelings for this child are so torn. And I think a lot of it is because I know I'm the only one who even tries. His grandparents on both sides and his birth mom let him do whatever he wants. I know I'm holding him responsible for their mistakes. But that is my issue. That is exactly it. My kids are taught to share. He is not. So he throws fits and hits when it is not what he wants. I can't keep my cool. I can't because he gets no reinforcement. We only see him for 24 hours every 2 weeks because that's all we are allowed per the birth mom. So what do I do? Do I let him run the house or make him listen which means he goes home and complains he hates it here cause we are mean and both mom and my husbands mom say "you don't have to go over there anymore. I know daddy's mean. He makes you listen"

Sounds more like your DH needs to step up and parent him.  He needs to let SS know what to expect in the house and what is unacceptable.  What did BF say when he peed on the floor?  Hopefully he was punished and taught that it's not appropriate to pee on ANY floor.

How old is SS? I can't find where you've given his age? Forgive me if you already have.

When SSs were kids they were a hand full.  I made sure DH was around when they were at the house - it was his visitation, not mine.  He did all the parenting while they were there.  Fortunately, BM also knew what they were capable of and if they got into trouble @ our house, she punished them accordingly.

dallas4nu
by on Jul. 28, 2012 at 2:29 PM
Sooo.....where's dh in all of this?? And how often do you have him?


Quoting badged54:

That is my issue. My feelings for this child are so torn. And I think a lot of it is because I know I'm the only one who even tries. His grandparents on both sides and his birth mom let him do whatever he wants. I know I'm holding him responsible for their mistakes. But that is my issue. That is exactly it. My kids are taught to share. He is not. So he throws fits and hits when it is not what he wants. I can't keep my cool. I can't because he gets no reinforcement. We only see him for 24 hours every 2 weeks because that's all we are allowed per the birth mom. So what do I do? Do I let him run the house or make him listen which means he goes home and complains he hates it here cause we are mean and both mom and my husbands mom say "you don't have to go over there anymore. I know daddy's mean. He makes you listen"

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whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Jul. 28, 2012 at 2:30 PM

I think you should walk away. For your own sake and for your SS's sake.

dallas4nu
by on Jul. 28, 2012 at 2:31 PM
2 moms liked this
Oh. Nvm. 4 days a month. Honestly I don't think theres much you can do. How can you or dh raise a child you only see 4days a month?

Not tryin to be mean or anything...

Quoting dallas4nu:

Sooo.....where's dh in all of this?? And how often do you have him?



Quoting badged54:

That is my issue. My feelings for this child are so torn. And I think a lot of it is because I know I'm the only one who even tries. His grandparents on both sides and his birth mom let him do whatever he wants. I know I'm holding him responsible for their mistakes. But that is my issue. That is exactly it. My kids are taught to share. He is not. So he throws fits and hits when it is not what he wants. I can't keep my cool. I can't because he gets no reinforcement. We only see him for 24 hours every 2 weeks because that's all we are allowed per the birth mom. So what do I do? Do I let him run the house or make him listen which means he goes home and complains he hates it here cause we are mean and both mom and my husbands mom say "you don't have to go over there anymore. I know daddy's mean. He makes you listen"




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