Asked to invite the hostile ex to a family event, now what?
My husband's ex-wife is certifiably narcissistic. This is not my opnion, it is our awful reality. She has put us through hell legally, financiall, and emotionally for years. The oldest normalized relations with her father about a year ago. She was the last to escape her mothers brainwashing and it has been nice to almost have a normal life after all the drama. The ex, however, has not tried to normalize anything although she has stopped most of her legal dramas, likely for lack of funds.
The oldest got married last month and we are throwing her a party. She asked to invite her mother. This is prefectly understandable. We're having difficulty figuring out what to do. While we would love to have normal relations with the ex, this has not been the case. It feels premature and dangerous to some degree to invite this aggressive person into our home under any circumstances. Yet, we do not want to exclude her from what will likely be the only formal celebration of her daughter's wedding.
We would like to be able to set some boundaries at the very least, but don't have any communications with the ex. She is so hostile that the thought of calling her is distressing. Also, she typically turns any normal request on our part into a major drama setting us as the bad guys and herself as the victim. We don't want to play into any of that, especially as we prepare for this celebration.
Any ideas? I would love some input. THANKS!