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Nit-Pick Be Gone!! Assistance please!

Posted by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 10:24 AM
  • 12 Replies

Anyone been through a  "Nit-Picky" stage in their CSM role, and made it through?

We've had a lot of big changes in our lives, so I think my anxiety (and lack of sleep) is causing me to be a super stickler for rules. I hate it. I don't feel like I can relax or have fun at all, so anything the kids do wrong seems so much worse than what it is. And they're really great kids.

So I've made it through the first step of admiting that I have a Nit-Pick problem... What's the next step?!

I have attempted to disengage some, and it sort of worked.

by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 10:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
KelliStars
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 10:30 AM
2 moms liked this

First step would be to re-engage.

2nd step would be to sit your kids &skids down and TALK TO THEM. Be honest with them.

  • TELL THEM THAT THEY ARE GREAT KIDS. 
  • Tell them that with all the big changes in your lives, anxiety & lack of sleep that you are easily upset. That you are nit-picking at everthing and you know it. 
  • ASK THEM FOR THEIR HELP until things calm down. 

Kids are smarter than you think. If they are aware of a problem, they usually try to help. AND.. if they keep breaking rules... its because they WANT to get your goat.. and its something you all can deal with. 


KellyReedy
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 10:33 AM
1 mom liked this

I did.  I think now that they have moved back in with M i'm more nit-picky. It drives me coo coo too at times!

RubyLu
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 10:34 AM
1 mom liked this

You know what I LOVE about this, It's so obvious, yet I never thought of it!
I've read so many different things, so I thought disengaging was the answer.
I think that's been the hardest part for me, because it's made me feel like an outsider. I think the kids have noticed it too, which may be why they are not listening as much as normal.

Thank you!!

Quoting KelliStars:

First step would be to re-engage.

2nd step would be to sit your kids &skids down and TALK TO THEM. Be honest with them.

  • TELL THEM THAT THEY ARE GREAT KIDS. 
  • Tell them that with all the big changes in your lives, anxiety & lack of sleep that you are easily upset. That you are nit-picking at everthing and you know it. 
  • ASK THEM FOR THEIR HELP until things calm down. 

Kids are smarter than you think. If they are aware of a problem, they usually try to help. AND.. if they keep breaking rules... its because they WANT to get your goat.. and its something you all can deal with. 

 


KelliStars
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 10:39 AM

Happy to help... I've been there a few times myself.. and My sons (now adults) tell me that when I did this, it made them feel like I knew THEY could handle any situations that came up. A lot of times, they were feeling the same thing too and we were able to handle it together. 

I remember lots of  times my kids saying to me "Mom, you're stressed and I am too. We both need a time out" LOL

Quoting RubyLu:

You know what I LOVE about this, It's so obvious, yet I never thought of it!
I've read so many different things, so I thought disengaging was the answer.
I think that's been the hardest part for me, because it's made me feel like an outsider. I think the kids have noticed it too, which may be why they are not listening as much as normal.

Thank you!!

Quoting KelliStars:

First step would be to re-engage.

2nd step would be to sit your kids &skids down and TALK TO THEM. Be honest with them.

  • TELL THEM THAT THEY ARE GREAT KIDS. 
  • Tell them that with all the big changes in your lives, anxiety & lack of sleep that you are easily upset. That you are nit-picking at everthing and you know it. 
  • ASK THEM FOR THEIR HELP until things calm down. 

Kids are smarter than you think. If they are aware of a problem, they usually try to help. AND.. if they keep breaking rules... its because they WANT to get your goat.. and its something you all can deal with. 




RubyLu
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 10:43 AM
1 mom liked this

That makes sense. I know had my mom came at me when she was young and just let us know she was stressed, it would have helped.. Nothing like having to admit your turning into your nit-picky mom!!

I know we could all use a time out from the stress!!

Quoting KelliStars:

Happy to help... I've been there a few times myself.. and My sons (now adults) tell me that when I did this, it made them feel like I knew THEY could handle any situations that came up. A lot of times, they were feeling the same thing too and we were able to handle it together. 

I remember lots of  times my kids saying to me "Mom, you're stressed and I am too. We both need a time out" LOL

Quoting RubyLu:

You know what I LOVE about this, It's so obvious, yet I never thought of it!
I've read so many different things, so I thought disengaging was the answer.
I think that's been the hardest part for me, because it's made me feel like an outsider. I think the kids have noticed it too, which may be why they are not listening as much as normal.

Thank you!!

Quoting KelliStars:

First step would be to re-engage.

2nd step would be to sit your kids &skids down and TALK TO THEM. Be honest with them.

  • TELL THEM THAT THEY ARE GREAT KIDS. 
  • Tell them that with all the big changes in your lives, anxiety & lack of sleep that you are easily upset. That you are nit-picking at everthing and you know it. 
  • ASK THEM FOR THEIR HELP until things calm down. 

Kids are smarter than you think. If they are aware of a problem, they usually try to help. AND.. if they keep breaking rules... its because they WANT to get your goat.. and its something you all can deal with. 

 

 



saywhat2102
by Gold Member on Aug. 3, 2012 at 10:44 AM

I went from single no kids to a CSM I chose it and I love it still do! Wouldn't change a second but yes it was a shock to my senses at times!!!  So, I have my husband make arrangements for ss to spend the night at his gma's house for some alone time with my husband(he is my sanity most days and just to have that time alone with him and not having dish pan hands grounds me) and if my sweet husband is getting on my damn nerves too I go out with my friends!!!  I have awesome friends that I adore and we can cut loose and TADA the drama leaves and it really is a "recharge" for me;) 

dawnnamarie
by Silver Member on Aug. 3, 2012 at 10:47 AM
I'm 26 years old and my mom still does it!! Lol, I usually calmly tell her that she's picking again and its like a lightbulb flashes. She realizes what she's doing. And it ends ASAP.

Talk to dh!! Does he know how you are feeling? Mate he would have some insight we don't see
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TempestRayne
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 6:15 PM
No idea, good luck.
newstepmom61811
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 7:37 PM
My SS brings me back to the planet ALL the time! He asks me "are you angry?" wen I'm not...I don't even realize I let stress get to me when I don't need to and wear it in my face do I en up coming off angry when I'm not or being stressed when I don't need to be. He's an awesome little reality check. I also find myself always asking myself...is this REALLY a crisis? Will this matter in 5 years? So they do things differently than I would, is it wrong? If the answer to those questions is NO let whatever is is GO!...
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alissaplusthree
by Bronze Member on Aug. 3, 2012 at 7:46 PM


Quoting KelliStars:

First step would be to re-engage.

2nd step would be to sit your kids &skids down and TALK TO THEM. Be honest with them.

  • TELL THEM THAT THEY ARE GREAT KIDS. 
  • Tell them that with all the big changes in your lives, anxiety & lack of sleep that you are easily upset. That you are nit-picking at everthing and you know it. 
  • ASK THEM FOR THEIR HELP until things calm down. 

Kids are smarter than you think. If they are aware of a problem, they usually try to help. AND.. if they keep breaking rules... its because they WANT to get your goat.. and its something you all can deal with. 


This will go SO FAR with the kids....Love it!

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