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step daughters tearing my husband apart

Posted by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 5:04 PM
  • 29 Replies

we have been married for 3 years and everything has been great, until about 2 months ago. My 2 step daughters 10 & 14 have become so mean and hateful. Not just to me, my husband also and we found out they have been hitting my sons. Their behavior has become so bad my husband is about to give up. I have disengaged because im tired of the emotional abuse. Im still supportive of him, they are his children. Any suggestions? We dont force them to come anymore because we are afraid of false accusations or them running away.

 

by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 5:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
alissaplusthree
by Bronze Member on Aug. 4, 2012 at 5:13 PM

No suggestions without more insight or information. 

What in the heck is the problem? 

How is it possible for 2 young girls hold their father hostage?

Do you have any idea what is going on here?

jlg12678
by Gold Member on Aug. 4, 2012 at 5:20 PM
Is something going on in the other home? Are they being influenced negatively somewhere?

At fourteen especially your sd is way, way, WAY too old to be hitting. I think instant consequences (such as going to your room-no electronics) is important. What happens prior to the hitting? How old are your kids?
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saywhat2102
by Gold Member on Aug. 4, 2012 at 5:29 PM
I wouldn't be cool at all about the hitting!! That's a dh must handle like yesterday deal! But the rest maybe the age of the girls? Has anything happened that you or dh is aware of in 2 months? A move at bm's house any changes with bm? New boyfriend? Some children feed off stress..
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E_is_4_Ethan
by Platinum Member on Aug. 4, 2012 at 5:30 PM

more info would be needed...

how did you not know the girls where hitting the boys?

How old are are the boys?

What is the CO visitation?

Does DH and BM communicate?


Crgroves1980
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 5:30 PM

we found out that the 14 year old is "involved" with her step brother at her mothers house. we know that the "war" has started because we called her mother and confronter her about the situation.  When all this happened we decided to go through her computer and discovered that she is being active with boys and girls. mother seems to think it is ok for the step siblings to date. we disagree. we called CPS and they said it is legal and nothing we can do. he tries to enforce visitation but they refuse to come, and mom is more worried about being their friend than their parent so she does not make them.  The girls have started sending ugly texts to my husband. we are afraid that if we call the polic to enforce visitation the girls will make false accusations against us ( they said they would) and run away. I can go on and on about all the bull doo doo. I am desperate for help. any suggestions or questions?

Crgroves1980
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 5:34 PM

my sons are 6,12 and 13. I asked why they have not said anything and they said becasue they didt want to cause problems.

they have been taught by their mother that love is shown with material things. we dont do that in our house, so everytime we say "no" to something that have huge fits. even in public.

we have never been close they have always just ignored me, unless they want something.

Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on Aug. 4, 2012 at 5:35 PM
This

Quoting jlg12678:

Is something going on in the other home? Are they being influenced negatively somewhere?

At fourteen especially your sd is way, way, WAY too old to be hitting. I think instant consequences (such as going to your room-no electronics) is important. What happens prior to the hitting? How old are your kids?
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Crgroves1980
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 5:39 PM

i knwo that part of the problem is that dad has been busy with work and not interacting much. I had been telling dad for 3 years how rude the girls are and mean. He was so dillusional he did not believe me, so i decided it was divorce or disengage. I disengaged. He finally realized there was REALLY a problem a little too late. the 14 yo came in our room screaming and hollering at me, i never seen that look on my husbands face before. he was horrified. however, it did bust his bubble and he has been apologizing since then and even signed us up for coulceling.

Crgroves1980
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 5:41 PM

alissaplusthree hit the nail on the head, we do feel like we are in a hostage situation.

alissaplusthree
by Bronze Member on Aug. 4, 2012 at 5:48 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Crgroves1980:

we found out that the 14 year old is "involved" with her step brother at her mothers house. we know that the "war" has started because we called her mother and confronter her about the situation.  When all this happened we decided to go through her computer and discovered that she is being active with boys and girls. mother seems to think it is ok for the step siblings to date. we disagree. we called CPS and they said it is legal and nothing we can do. he tries to enforce visitation but they refuse to come, and mom is more worried about being their friend than their parent so she does not make them.  The girls have started sending ugly texts to my husband. we are afraid that if we call the polic to enforce visitation the girls will make false accusations against us ( they said they would) and run away. I can go on and on about all the bull doo doo. I am desperate for help. any suggestions or questions?

Bullshit they are dating! I don't believe that for one minute! There is sexual activity going on in that house, and the BM is a fool! 


I suggest you contact an attorney and file an emergency exparte motion to remove both girls from the house PERMANENTLY and immediately. 

DH will need proof of SD's involvement with her stepbrother AND a subpeona for SD's Facebook-including her private messages.


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