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To take or not take SD10...

Posted by on Aug. 6, 2012 at 4:08 PM
  • 11 Replies

On vacation this weekend with us. For those who don't know, SD10 isn't DH's, but he is the only dad SD10 has ever known. SD10 lives with Custodial Gma, BM's mom. The main issues are 1) SD10 lives with Gma, and SD8 lives with BM and is VERY resentful that she(SD8) can't live there or here, but has to stay at BM's at this point.  And 2) B/c of how she treats them, SD10 and DD8 leave SD8 out or ignore her. DH doesn't want to deal with all the drama that goes along with all this, so he is on the fence about SD10 going. My issue is that he already told her weeks ago she could go, and that going back on it would not be right. I think all three of them need to be talked to and re-told the rules and consequences, and that they all can go. Oh, and the vacation is with my mom's family, for 4 days to the water park, amusement park, and Amish country. There will be other kids to play with.

Daisypath - (ywCW)Ticker id: wxXo
by on Aug. 6, 2012 at 4:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
wkdwytch
by on Aug. 6, 2012 at 4:12 PM

Separating them will not make them get along any better than forcing them together will. I suggest you sit all three of them down and explain that good bahevior is expected on this trip and one (some) of them may be left out next time if their behavior is not acceptable. If SD10 was already told she can go, you cannot go back on your word.

amonkeymom
by Amy on Aug. 7, 2012 at 2:00 PM
3 moms liked this

She's already been told she can go and I think it would be very cruel to exclude her.

elisesmom922
by Silver Member on Aug. 7, 2012 at 6:01 PM

I think she deserves to go b/c it is not her fault her sister has issues with something that neither of them can control. I also think that they all need a real talking to about how they have been acting, my dd included.

Daisypath - (ywCW)Ticker id: wxXo
JacyB
by Bronze Member on Aug. 7, 2012 at 6:05 PM

I think it's pretty mean to invite all of them and then tell one "You cant go because your sister cant behave".

angelmommy2806
by on Aug. 7, 2012 at 6:09 PM
If you told her she can go let her go.
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Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Aug. 7, 2012 at 8:43 PM
1 mom liked this

SD11 is like your sd-she's not DH's child but he does claim her (he's the only stable father she's ever had) and we've had issues with her and DD8-however if we're planning a family vacation/day trip-we include ALL 3 kids. As long as they want to go.

I would bring all the kids-but explain ahead of time the rules and consequences for any fighting/bullying etc

ShannaBee
by on Aug. 8, 2012 at 4:53 PM

I'd take her.

Refurbished
by on Aug. 8, 2012 at 5:05 PM

I would take her but set very clear boundaries on how they should behave.  Before leaving, I'd also try to get to the root of why everyone behaves the way they do and have the girls talk it out.  I'd make them each say how they feel, make the others listen, and then I would tell each of them to come up with something that they can do to make things work. 

elisesmom922
by Silver Member on Aug. 8, 2012 at 5:15 PM
1 mom liked this

 We are going to take her. We decided that they are all going to get read the riot act in the morning and if you STILL can't behave, you can just sit at the waterpark.

elisesmom922
by Silver Member on Aug. 8, 2012 at 6:17 PM

I don't know if will be that easy. DD8 lives here 24/7, she has NO other home. SD8 wants to either live here OR with Custodial Gma, where SD11 lives, that's the main contention point. We can't control those things, but Sd8 doesn't care, she just knows shes unhappy, so doesn't care if everyone else is too. SD8 wants to "be family ALL the time, like DD", not getting that she is even though she lives with BM.

Quoting Refurbished:

I would take her but set very clear boundaries on how they should behave.  Before leaving, I'd also try to get to the root of why everyone behaves the way they do and have the girls talk it out.  I'd make them each say how they feel, make the others listen, and then I would tell each of them to come up with something that they can do to make things work. 


Daisypath - (ywCW)Ticker id: wxXo
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