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I think I helped dh with sd

Posted by on Aug. 7, 2012 at 10:07 AM
  • 31 Replies
SD keeps saying SHUT UP and hateful things. I got her a phone and put her on my plan. Well she knows MY RULE about being hateful and saying SHUT UP. Before she got a phone she disrespect me and everything. Until that one day when she told dh to SHUT UP. I told her to go to her room until she can come out and say sorry like she means it. Yesterday she started being hateful and she told her dad to SHUT UP I took her phone and told her I will give it back on my time. Well, 5 minutes later her attitude changes and I still didn't give her phone back. But I talked with her about the agreement and rules again. And I asked her why did I take her phone from her so she can understand why. Then she said something I thought was to far she answered stating she was being mean and she don't care if she was. I told her her attitude needs to change and she will get her phone back. Last night around 930 she came to dh gave him a hug and said sorry then she came talked to me and told me she was sorry and she understand this is an ongoing punishment and she will try to stop. I gave her her phone back and explained to her that she does it again it will be longer.

That's how i took care of SD and her hatefulness.

FYI: I would do this with my DD and DS as well not only lhern
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by on Aug. 7, 2012 at 10:07 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ssgtgrl12
by on Aug. 7, 2012 at 11:59 AM

sounds like that you made your point..kids now days just dont have that respect like it was when i was growing up..well anyway good for you a well done job!!

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pdxmum
by Platinum Member on Aug. 7, 2012 at 12:29 PM

How old is she?

DH did this with SD16 or 17 at the time.  She flat out lied to him, he took phone away.  She played martyr for a couple of days then was all sweet and apologetic to get her phone back.  Next thing we know she isn't coming over anymore.  Then DH works with BM to deal with excessive phone use - 23,000 texts per month.  SD says fuck you to both of them so she loses her phone from DH.  That lasted about a week and BM got her another one.

You controlling her with her phone could easily backfire.  Besides, this is probably something DH should drive.  I can't even imagine the blowback if I had tried to do what DH did...

saywhat2102
by Gold Member on Aug. 7, 2012 at 12:48 PM

I know you think you helped him but I think you neutered him in front of her...IMO! Your dh should have been the one to jump and soon as she told ANYONE to shut up and take that phone!  Regardless if you bought it or not that phone is a privilege and if you do wrong you have privileges taken away!  Maybe try letting dh discipline her it is his child.  I can only tell you that if my ss told his daddy or myself or any adult for that matter to shut up OMG!!!!!!  We would probably have to buy ss a new phone cause by the time he got it back it would be so out dated!

KelliStars
by on Aug. 7, 2012 at 1:50 PM

you rock

parisonmom
by on Aug. 7, 2012 at 2:47 PM
She is 11. Dh wont she does whatever she wants. She lives with us not BM. Dh has joint custody with BM but BM just has visitations.


Quoting pdxmum:

How old is she?

DH did this with SD16 or 17 at the time.  She flat out lied to him, he took phone away.  She played martyr for a couple of days then was all sweet and apologetic to get her phone back.  Next thing we know she isn't coming over anymore.  Then DH works with BM to deal with excessive phone use - 23,000 texts per month.  SD says fuck you to both of them so she loses her phone from DH.  That lasted about a week and BM got her another one.

You controlling her with her phone could easily backfire.  Besides, this is probably something DH should drive.  I can't even imagine the blowback if I had tried to do what DH did...


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parisonmom
by on Aug. 7, 2012 at 2:48 PM
I just took her phone again.


Quoting saywhat2102:

I know you think you helped him but I think you neutered him in front of her...IMO! Your dh should have been the one to jump and soon as she told ANYONE to shut up and take that phone!  Regardless if you bought it or not that phone is a privilege and if you do wrong you have privileges taken away!  Maybe try letting dh discipline her it is his child.  I can only tell you that if my ss told his daddy or myself or any adult for that matter to shut up OMG!!!!!!  We would probably have to buy ss a new phone cause by the time he got it back it would be so out dated!


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pdxmum
by Platinum Member on Aug. 7, 2012 at 3:50 PM

Well, it looks like you have a DH problem, not a SD problem.  And I seriously doubt you did anything to "help" him.  Was it "help" he asked for or looked for?  Or is it something that you think he should want "help" with?

Quoting parisonmom:

She is 11. Dh wont she does whatever she wants. She lives with us not BM. Dh has joint custody with BM but BM just has visitations.


Quoting pdxmum:

How old is she?

DH did this with SD16 or 17 at the time.  She flat out lied to him, he took phone away.  She played martyr for a couple of days then was all sweet and apologetic to get her phone back.  Next thing we know she isn't coming over anymore.  Then DH works with BM to deal with excessive phone use - 23,000 texts per month.  SD says fuck you to both of them so she loses her phone from DH.  That lasted about a week and BM got her another one.

You controlling her with her phone could easily backfire.  Besides, this is probably something DH should drive.  I can't even imagine the blowback if I had tried to do what DH did...



pdxmum
by Platinum Member on Aug. 7, 2012 at 4:04 PM

SD probably thinks of you as a big sister since you are younger than her older siblings.

You really should let your DH parents his own children.  How old are the six of them again?

pdxmum
by Platinum Member on Aug. 7, 2012 at 4:20 PM

And how did you afford to get her a phone when you couldn't pay your electric bill 2 weeks ago?

You are an interesting and prolific poster.  I would love to know your whole story...

parisonmom
by on Aug. 7, 2012 at 7:41 PM

DH s scared of her and  didnt say it was sd problem but i am not just going to sit there and pretend that she doesnt exist.

Quoting pdxmum:

Well, it looks like you have a DH problem, not a SD problem.  And I seriously doubt you did anything to "help" him.  Was it "help" he asked for or looked for?  Or is it something that you think he should want "help" with?

Quoting parisonmom:

She is 11. Dh wont she does whatever she wants. She lives with us not BM. Dh has joint custody with BM but BM just has visitations.


Quoting pdxmum:

How old is she?

DH did this with SD16 or 17 at the time.  She flat out lied to him, he took phone away.  She played martyr for a couple of days then was all sweet and apologetic to get her phone back.  Next thing we know she isn't coming over anymore.  Then DH works with BM to deal with excessive phone use - 23,000 texts per month.  SD says fuck you to both of them so she loses her phone from DH.  That lasted about a week and BM got her another one.

You controlling her with her phone could easily backfire.  Besides, this is probably something DH should drive.  I can't even imagine the blowback if I had tried to do what DH did...


 


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