It created some fears that I also,believe are natural for a SM. I was scared DH would want her back. She played on my insecurities ( she'd say DH was always begging her to take him back, that he was only with me to pass time until they got back together, would tell me she fucked him better than I can and he misses her sex and I can't satisfy him. She would say he told her he's ashamed of me, regrets me, thinks I'm a bitch and that I needed to lose weight. She'd say she was hotter than me).
I didn't like him going to ger apartment to fix broken things. I was paranoid she would try to sleep with him. I was scared he'd miss his son so much that he'd go back to her to have his son.
I think it is hard to accept someone in your life who was intimate with your husband and shared a life with him.
Have you ever been jealous or insecure?
yes, absolutely. I have been jealous, in a step situation it is par for the course.
with bm ..... never she tried to make me jealous but dh's reaction was usually pretty funny. she tried to kiss him she pushed her face away, she flashed her boobs to him, he told her to cover up no one wanted to see the stretchmarks,she dropped to her knees to be dh to come HOME he told her to stop embarrassing herself. she makes me sad for her.
Mostly my jealousy was about my stepkids' love for their mother. Not so much about the potential of my DH being interested in his ex romantically.
There may have been the tiniest bit of that, it is hard to say. But for me, the jealousy was mostly about my relationship with my stepkids and my insecurities regarding that.
I'm also jealous of women with full time housekeepers.
I'm insecure at times around my bff. She was an honest to god model. I'm pretty, but she is a whole 'nuther level of gorgeous.
I'm not jealous of bm. I've been
married before and my son is with
my ex. Unless you are marrying really, really young baggage is par for the course. We all have ex's. Many have kids. It frankly doesn't matter to me who was first, last, whatever. What matters is my here and now.
Is jealousy the right word for the insecurities I felt when SM came in to the picture? I don't know. I don't really have anything to be jealous about but insecure yes. I *feel* that she is prettier than me although my husband has said yes she is pretty but not prettier. We are pretty in our own ways. She is skinnier than me but we are built differently. She has a bigger home than me but I have a nice home and I think my flowers are nicer. She has a MUCH nicer car than me. Ok so I'm jealous over cars. Sue me. I know a lot about their sex life becaus she told me. And I was told a lot of things that ex said about me because she told me. Those thing didnt make me jealous. They hurt my feelings. I felt inadequate. It made me feel like I might not ever please a man because I wasn't able to please my husband (ex husband). What therapy taught me was that I wasn't jealous of her sex life with my husband, I felt insecure and shameful for what I was not able to offer. I was privilege to information I had no business having. I was told private conversations that were never meant for my ears or they would have been spoken directly to my ears by the horse himself. I wouldn't have felt insecure had those conversations stayed private between those two parties. They were told to me to make me feel inadequate, to make me feel less of a person and it was up to me to allow those things to 'make' me feel insecure or inadequate. I am not jealous of SM being in my child's life. I never have felt that way. I've felt insecure about where I might stand in the future. Does dd have more fun with her, does she love her more, does she respect her more etc. what I have learned is that no matter how many people are in DDs life, only I can control my relationship between myself and my child.
Quoting whatIknownow:Mostly my jealousy was about my stepkids' love for their mother. Not so much about the potential of my DH being interested in his ex romantically.
There may have been the tiniest bit of that, it is hard to say. But for me, the jealousy was mostly about my relationship with my stepkids and my insecurities regarding that.
at first yes-because before we got together-she was still fucking him ALONG with Douche Bag (she brags about it)
that just goes to show what a dirty skank she was.
Finally it came to a point where I told her-he may have HAD you-but he's KEEPING me.
she can say they have a son together-but their history speaks for itself-with her trying to get an abortion and with how she treated her so called loving children.
And now that she's in a better place she'll also admit she messed up-did him dirty when she shouldn't have.
She told DH after they split she was only with him because she couldn't be with Douche Bag-well she finally got him and look what happened-she did the same thing to him and moved on to her current man. I'm glad we're all past that.
Shit happens-its all in how you handle it. You can feed into the drama-or just ignore it-accept it as a part of DH's past and move on.
SS ten years old w anxiety?
- ShannaBee
on Aug. 8, 2012 at 7:09 PM