Not sure where to start.....I guess from the beginning. When I started dating my husband his ex girlfriend did everything she could to keep him out of his kids lives, in PA that is not hard to do cause the a father has little rights. She did nothing but bad mouth us to the kids saying I was the reason their Dad left and I took him away. Also told them he has my daughter now and don't need his kids. None of this is true. She threw my husband out on a false PFA to move her new married boyfriend in.
As time went on all that mattered was her boyfriend and the bar he owned and the drugs they did. She ended up losing the kids to the state. The state made my husband get DNA testing even though he was paying support and signed an acknowledgment of paternity. He never tried to deny them even though there was a chance they were not his because she is very "friendly". Also my husband adopted my daughter while this was all going on. Finally the judge stated if he can adopt a child he can raise his. So they came to live with us after 3 years of being passed from family member to family member and $18,000 dollars later. Their mother did nothing to try to get them back. She never showed up for a hearing, took her drug test or parenting classes.
We went as far as moving away from her and needless to say she and her married boyfriend followed us and moved to the same area. His bar was closed down for to many problems. At the time we got custody my SS was 12 and my SD was 8.
When they turned 18 their mother decided now she can cause problems because the court was no longer involved or had a say so. The court order read she was to have no contact with them. Well my SS told us that we are pieces of $hit and never did a thing for him he moved out. My SD was thrown out of my home because she was very disrespectful. She would tell her Dad to F off and call me a fat C**T, yes that awful C word. She would not get a job or clean up after herself. She would start fights all the time because we would not give her money to do things with her friends. You can not help out or get a job, we are not going to hand money over. She tried to break up my marriage and went as far as putting me on a dating site to make my husband think I was cheating on him. Thankful we are best friends and he knew better. He told her if she needed to respect us or there was the door, he was not going to let her break us up.
We later find out that she is posting things on FB saying he does not care about his ONLY daughter, remember he adopted my daughter. She tells my daughter she does not count cause my husband did not make her. My daughter does not like to let people know my husband is not her bio father cause in her eyes he is the only father she had. He raised her since age of 5. Finally my husband flipped out on her and told her whether she likes it or not he does have another daughter and she needs to stop with her bad mouthing of every. Of course she told him F off, then she wonders why.
These kids had the best of everything, the had love a roof over their head, food to eat, not to mention we paid for their cell phones, had top of the line iPods. One did not if the other could not get unless they were being rewarded for a report card.
I am so tired of my SD and her BIO mom. I am tired of the lies and the Facebook post. I am tired of them telling everyone my husband is going back to her and divorcing me, if one more person ask me if we split I am going to snap. I am tired of them treating their father like crap. You do not like me fine don't bother with me but talk to your Dad.
I even told my husband I would divorce him if it meant he would have a relationship with them. He got very upset with me and said they are adults now and if they don't want be part of our lives that is on them.
I will be with my husband 13 years in Dec and married 11 years in Sept. I am tired of the drama, the fighting, the bad mouthing. I am at my wits end, all I do is cry. I tried to give kids a good life they would of not had otherwise. I am beyond hurt and all I do is cry. My husband says nothing is my fault and I tried that is all I could do. They made their decisions and now they have to live with them.
My daughter and my husband are very close, he is her Dad and always will be. She is thankful she has him. He said at least one of his kids is grateful for him.
The stress of this is getting to the point where I am so depressed I can not even function. I am so hurt sometimes I am sorry I took them and I think I should of just left them in foster care.
Thanks for reading.