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I WANT TO GET A DIVORCE BECAUSE OF SD

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I REALLY DO AND I AM SCREAMING IT!!! SD DONT KNOW HOW TO RESPECT PEOPLE THEN WHEN THEY SAY SOMETHING SHE DONT LIKE SHE WANT TO SAY SHIT. I AM TIRED OF BEING DISRESPECTED AND HATED ON, LIKE SD TOLD MY DS (WHICH IS 3) TO SHUT UP BECAUSE DS KEPT SAYING BYE BYE DADDY. I TOLD HER SHE NEED TO STOP SAYING SHUT UP BECAUSE HE IS 3 AND HE IS STARTING TO TALK MORE. I JUST WANT TO GIVE UP AND GIVE HIM A DIVORCE!!!! THEN SD WILL HAVE DH ALL TO HERSELF! I AM SO DONE BEING THE NICE PERSON AND GETTING TREATED LIKE SHIT THEN WHEN I SAY SOMETHING TO HER SHE CRIES LIKE A DAMN BABY. SHE IS 11 NOT 1 SHE NEEDS TO ACT LIKE IT INSTEAD OF 1. I HATE THIS MARRIAGE!

by on Aug. 11, 2012 at 6:11 PM
Replies (21-30):
perroquet
by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 11:13 AM

 I you are wanting a divorce because an 11 year old said shut up, you may just be slightly overreacting. She needs to hear that.

Quoting Tigress22304:


Quoting perroquet:

 because an 11 year old said shut up. Get a grip lady.

oh great one-plz explain how to handle a disrespectful step child who's verbally abusive to your bio kids esp when DH refuses to deal?!

Plz explain!?  oh that's right....you CAN"T because your life is just peachy-fucking-perfect...try being helpful instead of hurtful.

OP-sounds like you're overwhelmed-really I understand what you're going through. Tell DH to man up and deal with his daughter. because that type of behavior is not welcomed in your house!! Perhaps you need to get BM involved as well.

Or do what I did-ask Sd why she's gotta be so nasty to the younger kids.(it worked for me-she gave me an honest answer)and go from there.

I would say disengage-stay the hell away from her-keep all the other kids away from her as well. If she can't play nice-then she should be left the hell alone and maybe then she'll realize if she continues to treat ppl like shit nobody will want to be around her.

 

mrsboomtastic
by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 11:47 AM
If he ain't backing you up...what is he doing for you? If you no longer tolerate his child, stay away
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
cruelella2to
by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 11:50 AM

when sk's lived with us i put all the blame on sd, the blame for how i was feeling. Yes some of it was because of her, being disrespectful made me made the lack of discipline for being disrespectful was on her father. So when i went through the i want a divorce because of sd i thought this is ridiculous am i going to let a 13 yr old destroy my marriage sd sd sd. I had to sit down and really think about it. I let my dh know that what was going on in the house was not going to work. bm screaming yelling over lies sd said never going to happened again (not going to get in my face over it) he had to have a drop/pick up location after i disengaged or rather while i tried it was sooo freaking hard and just as upsetting. she put gum on the couch lots of it chewed up brand new couches. i got dh up (few hours of sleep) and made him go deal with it i didn't say a word to his child. that seemed to be an eye opener when she didn't have me to being a verbal punching bag she used her dad it didn't take long before he got tired of it. things changed dramatically i9n our house hold.

When he started having more than 1 night a month visitation, sd was here and tried her bs again stealing this time. i packed up me and the baby and left to a hotel for the duratio of the visit. no contact no nothing. he got a feel of what he was going to be living with if he didn't get the situation under controll. IDK if any of this helps but i gues im hoping that you will see. yes your sd's actions are infuriating, im sure, i've been there. however the real blame is on your husband for not nipping the problem in the but. if he feels sd's actions are acceptable then maybe you should go somewhere with your child and let him see how its going to be if he can't get the situation under controll and you too will know how nice it is not to have to deal with his problem,(sd's behaviors)

chanizen
by Platinum Member on Aug. 12, 2012 at 11:57 AM
You leave. That's how you deal. But not because sd said shut up...

Because its a sucky sitch for everyone.

Forget getting dh to man up.

Get it together and get out. Before she loses her husband and her bios again.

Time to get life back on track.

You don't stay in a shit hole because you hope it will grow a rose.


Quoting Tigress22304:


Quoting perroquet:

 because an 11 year old said shut up. Get a grip lady.

oh great one-plz explain how to handle a disrespectful step child who's verbally abusive to your bio kids esp when DH refuses to deal?!

Plz explain!?  oh that's right....you CAN"T because your life is just peachy-fucking-perfect...try being helpful instead of hurtful.

OP-sounds like you're overwhelmed-really I understand what you're going through. Tell DH to man up and deal with his daughter. because that type of behavior is not welcomed in your house!! Perhaps you need to get BM involved as well.

Or do what I did-ask Sd why she's gotta be so nasty to the younger kids.(it worked for me-she gave me an honest answer)and go from there.

I would say disengage-stay the hell away from her-keep all the other kids away from her as well. If she can't play nice-then she should be left the hell alone and maybe then she'll realize if she continues to treat ppl like shit nobody will want to be around her.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Aug. 12, 2012 at 12:54 PM


Quoting perroquet:

 I you are wanting a divorce because an 11 year old said shut up, you may just be slightly overreacting. She needs to hear that.

Quoting Tigress22304:


Quoting perroquet:

 because an 11 year old said shut up. Get a grip lady.

oh great one-plz explain how to handle a disrespectful step child who's verbally abusive to your bio kids esp when DH refuses to deal?!

Plz explain!?  oh that's right....you CAN"T because your life is just peachy-fucking-perfect...try being helpful instead of hurtful.

OP-sounds like you're overwhelmed-really I understand what you're going through. Tell DH to man up and deal with his daughter. because that type of behavior is not welcomed in your house!! Perhaps you need to get BM involved as well.

Or do what I did-ask Sd why she's gotta be so nasty to the younger kids.(it worked for me-she gave me an honest answer)and go from there.

I would say disengage-stay the hell away from her-keep all the other kids away from her as well. If she can't play nice-then she should be left the hell alone and maybe then she'll realize if she continues to treat ppl like shit nobody will want to be around her.

 

you're right-she may be overreacting-or maybe she's had enough of the child misbehaving and not listening-any person with common sense isn't gonna be a robot and REPEATEDLY sit there and say "don't  tell my 3yo to shut" over and over....eventually Mom is gonna say enough is enough and either A)go the hell off on Dad for allowing his child to be a little brat or B) she's going to say something to the child.

At 11 yrs old that child is old enough to know she's doing wrong. I'd think she's just attention seeking-which means DAD needs to step it up.

Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Aug. 12, 2012 at 12:55 PM


Quoting chanizen:

You leave. That's how you deal. But not because sd said shut up...

Because its a sucky sitch for everyone.

Forget getting dh to man up.

Get it together and get out. Before she loses her husband and her bios again.

Time to get life back on track.

You don't stay in a shit hole because you hope it will grow a rose.


Quoting Tigress22304:


Quoting perroquet:

 because an 11 year old said shut up. Get a grip lady.

oh great one-plz explain how to handle a disrespectful step child who's verbally abusive to your bio kids esp when DH refuses to deal?!

Plz explain!?  oh that's right....you CAN"T because your life is just peachy-fucking-perfect...try being helpful instead of hurtful.

OP-sounds like you're overwhelmed-really I understand what you're going through. Tell DH to man up and deal with his daughter. because that type of behavior is not welcomed in your house!! Perhaps you need to get BM involved as well.

Or do what I did-ask Sd why she's gotta be so nasty to the younger kids.(it worked for me-she gave me an honest answer)and go from there.

I would say disengage-stay the hell away from her-keep all the other kids away from her as well. If she can't play nice-then she should be left the hell alone and maybe then she'll realize if she continues to treat ppl like shit nobody will want to be around her.


you don't think Dad can't step up to the plate and handle his kids?!

Took my DH awhile to get his SD11 under control-but he did it. And now our relationship is as great as it can be.

Some father's just don't wanna be the "bad guy" and actually get up off their ass and discipline their kids. And if that's the case here-then I'd have to agree and say-it's time to leave.

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Aug. 12, 2012 at 1:00 PM

I don't think the BF in the OP's sitch can change. I've read a lot of her posts. She's been complaining about this and other issues. 

I don't think their marriage can or should be saved, not based on this post, but on all her posts collectively.

Quoting Tigress22304:



you don't think Dad can't step up to the plate and handle his kids?!

Took my DH awhile to get his SD11 under control-but he did it. And now our relationship is as great as it can be.

Some father's just don't wanna be the "bad guy" and actually get up off their ass and discipline their kids. And if that's the case here-then I'd have to agree and say-it's time to leave.


Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Aug. 12, 2012 at 2:09 PM


Quoting whatIknownow:

I don't think the BF in the OP's sitch can change. I've read a lot of her posts. She's been complaining about this and other issues. 

I don't think their marriage can or should be saved, not based on this post, but on all her posts collectively.

Quoting Tigress22304:



you don't think Dad can't step up to the plate and handle his kids?!

Took my DH awhile to get his SD11 under control-but he did it. And now our relationship is as great as it can be.

Some father's just don't wanna be the "bad guy" and actually get up off their ass and discipline their kids. And if that's the case here-then I'd have to agree and say-it's time to leave.


:( I've only read a few posts here and there-didn't realize it was so bad. it's a shame when the adult (whether its custodial mom or custodial dad) allows the child to rule the house and controls everything that goes on-because you;re just setting that child up for a bad life.....

OP-I'm sorry you're going thru this-but if your DH hasnt tried to change.....he won't. Pack and leave his ass. you deserve better

chanizen
by Platinum Member on Aug. 12, 2012 at 3:40 PM
Quoting Tigress22304:


Oh I think dads can do it. Just not this dad. I dont think he is taking care of his kids or his wife. And it is cUing her pain. A lot of pain. Look through the old posts. They aren't pretty.
Tillymommie
by Silver Member on Aug. 12, 2012 at 3:47 PM

I don't think it is the SD. I just read another post in a different forum where OP was saying her DH was calling her fat and how she was going to starve herself till she threw up! Her thought on him treating her this was he had to sleep on the couch, but SD being an 11 yr and mouthy  (God I was a mouthy ass 11 yr old) is cause for divorce?! I think OP is projecting some on this girl but doesn't want to admit her Dh is kinda of an ass

Quoting Tigress22304:


Quoting whatIknownow:

I don't think the BF in the OP's sitch can change. I've read a lot of her posts. She's been complaining about this and other issues. 

I don't think their marriage can or should be saved, not based on this post, but on all her posts collectively.

Quoting Tigress22304:



you don't think Dad can't step up to the plate and handle his kids?!

Took my DH awhile to get his SD11 under control-but he did it. And now our relationship is as great as it can be.

Some father's just don't wanna be the "bad guy" and actually get up off their ass and discipline their kids. And if that's the case here-then I'd have to agree and say-it's time to leave.


:( I've only read a few posts here and there-didn't realize it was so bad. it's a shame when the adult (whether its custodial mom or custodial dad) allows the child to rule the house and controls everything that goes on-because you;re just setting that child up for a bad life.....

OP-I'm sorry you're going thru this-but if your DH hasnt tried to change.....he won't. Pack and leave his ass. you deserve better


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