Bio children

[2bkayleesmommy]

How many Bio-children did u see urself having? And did being a SM change that #?

I'm a BM to a dd(3), a ds(6mths), and I have a sd(4). I always wanted 3 children of my own. My SO says no more and I don't want 4. But I feel what's the word, robbed of that 3rd experiance. Eventho my DR suggested to avoid another pregnancy (they really mess me up!) I still think if I didn't have SD I would've tried and risked it. I'm sad that I won't have my 3rd baby. But if I talk to SO about this he's offended. It's something I always wanted and can't have and I'm sad :(

[shafford]

lol.....thank you... we are stopping with this baby...dh now understands he cant have boys!!!!hahaha 

Quoting boysmom5:

Congrats! Sometimes I think I'd like for us to try for a girl together. Knowing my luck I'd have twin boys.

Quoting shafford:

DH has three girls and together we have one girl and another girl on the way.....

Quoting boysmom5:

I have my two boys and DH has his three boys. That's really enough for us.

[squeakers2]

I always wanted AT LEAST 2. He has a son that just turned 6 and we have a soon to be 3 yr old daughter and a boy on the way. We are not married yet, but discussed children early. No number was ever set for how many we would have, just go off of circumstances at the time. For example, when our daughter was born up until right after her 2nd birthday, he was certain he wanted no more, much to my disappointment but I was ok with it due to wanting to be with him. One day, he came at me with he wanted another. I'm due in October, and he has said we are done after this one, but he has also said if he could, he would have a lot of children. So we'll see if more are to come.

[mirm99]

I don't diminish "HIS" children.. They're also my kids w the exeption of my sd.. . But I can't help the fact that it does bother me.. I do wish I had another baby w my husband and could give my kids a baby sibling.

Quoting pdxmum:

Quoting mirm99:

I feel the same way momma.. We have dd 3 and ds 4 and sd is 21mo old... I really want another baby but dh says no more bc he has 3 and i understand too I feel like its not my fault he couldn't keep it in his pants and i loose my 3 baby somehow... so now I have a lot of resentment bc it.. :(

Why do you have to diminish his children that way? They are hopefully more to him than a momentary sexual release... Maybe if you could see that...

[pdxmum]

Talking about his children in the context of him not being able to keep it in his pants sounded diminishing to me. Then someone pointed out the ages and that obviously this child was the product of an affair. I am sorry. Really. I don't know how I would deal with that. BF had an affair, our marriage ended and he married her. SM. I like her now, but that took time and years and my marriage was not salvageable.

Quoting mirm99:

I don't diminish "HIS" children.. They're also my kids w the exeption of my sd.. . But I can't help the fact that it does bother me.. I do wish I had another baby w my husband and could give my kids a baby sibling.

Quoting pdxmum:

Quoting mirm99:

I feel the same way momma.. We have dd 3 and ds 4 and sd is 21mo old... I really want another baby but dh says no more bc he has 3 and i understand too I feel like its not my fault he couldn't keep it in his pants and i loose my 3 baby somehow... so now I have a lot of resentment bc it.. :(

Why do you have to diminish his children that way? They are hopefully more to him than a momentary sexual release... Maybe if you could see that...

[mirm99]

I'm not diminishing any of THE children... Bc I do love sd too but I'm not going to hide the reality of it... He couldnt keep in his pants!... Thats the truth..lol.. It doesn't mean he doesn't love his dd of course he does hes fought tooth and nail for any type of custody bc its his dd... And I dont like people assuming MY children are the step kids bc they aren't And I always get that assumption from people so to make it easier i say ages now.. It's a habit.. wether she's born out of an affair or not what's the difference to anyone?.. She's still my sd and my dh dd so I don't see the issue...I guess I'm used to it now.. And yes it was hard to handle at first specially while bm was pregnant.. But I thank god we were able to overcome he pain and I'm as strong as I am.. Bc lots knows I still have my days of weakness. But my love for my family overcomes that anger and pain I still feel at times... But that's just me..

Quoting pdxmum:

Talking about his children in the context of him not being able to keep it in his pants sounded diminishing to me. Then someone pointed out the ages and that obviously this child was the product of an affair. I am sorry. Really. I don't know how I would deal with that. BF had an affair, our marriage ended and he married her. SM. I like her now, but that took time and years and my marriage was not salvageable.

Quoting mirm99:

I don't diminish "HIS" children.. They're also my kids w the exeption of my sd.. . But I can't help the fact that it does bother me.. I do wish I had another baby w my husband and could give my kids a baby sibling.

Quoting pdxmum:

Quoting mirm99:

I feel the same way momma.. We have dd 3 and ds 4 and sd is 21mo old... I really want another baby but dh says no more bc he has 3 and i understand too I feel like its not my fault he couldn't keep it in his pants and i loose my 3 baby somehow... so now I have a lot of resentment bc it.. :(

Why do you have to diminish his children that way? They are hopefully more to him than a momentary sexual release... Maybe if you could see that...

[mirm99]

You can just quote me and ask me myself... Instead of saying "check out" like it's some joke or something..

Quoting USBrit:

check out the ages...........don't sound like an ex situation, but perhaps an affair. I would be upset too, if that truly is the case.

Quoting pdxmum:

Quoting mirm99:

I feel the same way momma.. We have dd 3 and ds 4 and sd is 21mo old... I really want another baby but dh says no more bc he has 3 and i understand too I feel like its not my fault he couldn't keep it in his pants and i loose my 3 baby somehow... so now I have a lot of resentment bc it.. :(

Why do you have to diminish his children that way? They are hopefully more to him than a momentary sexual release... Maybe if you could see that...

[liltigersmom]

I have one child, kinda wanted another one. But I'm good with one, now its too late, and that's okay.

I like spoiling, and I get my fix with other peoples kids.

[Cambriagurlmom]

I wanted at least two more before I met dh. I had two daughers with my ex, and I had a son when I was a teen that passed away at 18mo. My dh had two boys one is bio the other is a half brother to his son. Our house sits at 4 kids and I'm due with another boy in November. My doctors were in the middle of testing for cervical cancer when I got pregnant so we had to stop until after I deliver. I would like 1 more but I am on the fence about it right now. I didn't expect to get pregnant and it kind of threw our whole financal planning under the bus. I'm still a year and half from my BA and we agreed before we got married that I wasn't going to stop until i was done (I did that with my first daughter and it took me 5 years to go back) We also have the eldest that is our "foster child" I do consider him one of my own but it really is a struggle with him and the last year has been utter hell in our home with him. DH and I have already decided that if he keeps it up we really can not risk the other childrens walfare and he would have to leave. I have half decided that I we will wait 2years and see where we sit, if things are going the same way then one of us will get "fixed"

[USBrit]

Actually, I thought that perhaps I was pointing out to someone who I thought was "attacking" you and suggested that they look at the ages of the children and your step. I wasn't trying to make it a joke, but rather that they have some compassion....maybe I was wrong! 

Quoting mirm99:

You can just quote me and ask me myself... Instead of saying "check out" like it's some joke or something..

Quoting USBrit:

check out the ages...........don't sound like an ex situation, but perhaps an affair. I would be upset too, if that truly is the case.

Quoting pdxmum:

Quoting mirm99:

I feel the same way momma.. We have dd 3 and ds 4 and sd is 21mo old... I really want another baby but dh says no more bc he has 3 and i understand too I feel like its not my fault he couldn't keep it in his pants and i loose my 3 baby somehow... so now I have a lot of resentment bc it.. :(

Why do you have to diminish his children that way? They are hopefully more to him than a momentary sexual release... Maybe if you could see that...

[mirm99]

If that's the case then I apologize.. And thanks.

Quoting USBrit:

Actually, I thought that perhaps I was pointing out to someone who I thought was "attacking" you and suggested that they look at the ages of the children and your step. I wasn't trying to make it a joke, but rather that they have some compassion....maybe I was wrong! 

Quoting mirm99:

You can just quote me and ask me myself... Instead of saying "check out" like it's some joke or something..

Quoting USBrit:

check out the ages...........don't sound like an ex situation, but perhaps an affair. I would be upset too, if that truly is the case.

Quoting pdxmum:

Quoting mirm99:

I feel the same way momma.. We have dd 3 and ds 4 and sd is 21mo old... I really want another baby but dh says no more bc he has 3 and i understand too I feel like its not my fault he couldn't keep it in his pants and i loose my 3 baby somehow... so now I have a lot of resentment bc it.. :(

Why do you have to diminish his children that way? They are hopefully more to him than a momentary sexual release... Maybe if you could see that...