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*UPDATED WITH ARTICLE* Is there anyone in here that would be ok with this?

Posted by on Aug. 16, 2012 at 2:16 PM
  • 170 Replies

I was reading in a magazine that this bm and her ex still go on family vacations together even though they are divorced.

They stay in the same room, just different beds. Throughout the article, I kept thinking "there can't be a SO for either of them because I dont see anybody being ok with this". But it got me to wondering, would you be ok with it? Maybe there is someone out there who it wouldn't bother.

The kid was 5 in the article.

  

Take a Vacation with Your Ex


A divorcing couple keeps tradition intact for their child

related tags: divorce, vacation, Mom
 
family-vacation-beach
© Veer
 

My family vacations are how I always dreamed they would be. My 5-year-old son's sticky ice-cream hands and sandy legs curled up in my lap. His dad gobbling up his belly, our hotel room filled with happy shrieks. The only difference is that his dad and I slide into separate beds.

When my ex and I separated, I never would have imagined we'd be a family again in any traditional sense. Divorce always feels like a failure. But I was never going to be like my divorced parents, bitter and worn down by anger, expecting my sisters and me to work around their unhappiness. I wanted my son to know the luxury of having everyone you love together.

About a year after our split, my ex called and said, "Hey, which week can you take off this summer? Where can we go?" Like...nothing had changed. I almost sarcastically reminded him that we were, um, what's that word again? Oh, yeah. Divorcing. But I said I'd think about it.

It was probably my inability to reconcile my guilt that triggered me to say yes. For our trial run, I agreed to drive to Niagara Falls for four days. Long enough to feel like a break, short enough to survive if things went south.

When my son fell asleep on his dad that night, and we stayed up to watch a movie, whispering above takeout, I knew they wouldn't.

We are both in love with the same person. Just not each other.

Still, a happy joint vacay means not letting pet peeves get in the way of niceties. Letting someone parent his way. And accepting that you will be in a situation where there's not much you can do if his way is bugging you.

The big upside is that your child can crawl into whichever parent's bed he wants. He'll wake up and have two pairs of eyeballs to peel open, two sets of ears to squeal into. There's a quote I read somewhere that stays with me: "In the happiest of our childhood memories, our parents were happy, too." That long weekend brought my son pure joy. Now, when he asks why Daddy can't live at our house, I feel less hollow.

Next year, we're thinking, he'll be the perfect age for Disney. Neither of us has said it, but it feels like that may be the last trip together. Maybe it's that by then one of us will (hopefully) have found a significant other; or maybe it's that I'm putting myself wholly first. Maybe it's that I'll finally be sure that my son can flourish without us together. It'll be bittersweet. But I wouldn't have changed a thing.

 http://www.parenting.com/article/take-vacation-your-ex?cid=searchresult

by on Aug. 16, 2012 at 2:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
CoochieLibre
by on Aug. 16, 2012 at 2:18 PM
20 moms liked this

Nope. Even though my ex and I get along, we would not go on vacation together with the kids. I think that confuses the kids and gives them false hopes.

brandi3883
by on Aug. 16, 2012 at 2:20 PM
Wouldn't bother me. I'd like to go too. But the idea of them together? Um yeah not a shot.
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jessiesluv
by on Aug. 16, 2012 at 2:20 PM
4 moms liked this

Especially at 5 years old. I would think that would confuse the kid even more.

jessiesluv
by on Aug. 16, 2012 at 2:21 PM

The way it read, it was just the 2 parents and the kid.

Quoting brandi3883:

Wouldn't bother me. I'd like to go too. But the idea of them together? Um yeah not a shot.


rose0919
by on Aug. 16, 2012 at 2:22 PM

no way!!!!! on either side there is a reason they are x's .

brandi3883
by on Aug. 16, 2012 at 2:27 PM
4 moms liked this
Yeah I saw it was just them. Just doesn't bother me. I hate the toll our relationships take on kids. They want to share their moments with both parents. I try to keep my adult jealousy out of a child's life.


Quoting jessiesluv:

The way it read, it was just the 2 parents and the kid.

Quoting brandi3883:

Wouldn't bother me. I'd like to go too. But the idea of them together? Um yeah not a shot.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jessiesluv
by on Aug. 16, 2012 at 2:30 PM

I think I'm confused.. lol

You would be ok with your SO & his ex going? Or you would be ok going with your SO & ex?

Quoting brandi3883:

Yeah I saw it was just them. Just doesn't bother me. I hate the toll our relationships take on kids. They want to share their moments with both parents. I try to keep my adult jealousy out of a child's life.


Quoting jessiesluv:

The way it read, it was just the 2 parents and the kid.

Quoting brandi3883:

Wouldn't bother me. I'd like to go too. But the idea of them together? Um yeah not a shot.




brandi3883
by on Aug. 16, 2012 at 2:41 PM
1 mom liked this
Lol. I should use more nouns. I'm ok with my husband and his ex wife going. Guess there is just enough hate of each other (deep and profound) that I wouldn't worry. Of course with a side of I don't want to be with a guy who would.


Quoting jessiesluv:

I think I'm confused.. lol

You would be ok with your SO & his ex going? Or you would be ok going with your SO & ex?

Quoting brandi3883:

Yeah I saw it was just them. Just doesn't bother me. I hate the toll our relationships take on kids. They want to share their moments with both parents. I try to keep my adult jealousy out of a child's life.





Quoting jessiesluv:

The way it read, it was just the 2 parents and the kid.

Quoting brandi3883:

Wouldn't bother me. I'd like to go too. But the idea of them together? Um yeah not a shot.






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saywhat2102
by Gold Member on Aug. 16, 2012 at 2:43 PM
LMFAO.....ummmm NOPE!!!!
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laughnchica
by on Aug. 16, 2012 at 3:16 PM
1 mom liked this

I read an article in Redbook, I believe it was, where this family is promoting this new type of parenting for divorced parents (don't recall the parenting term) but what they did is they still lived together. With their SO's or new husband or wife. For the better of the kids they say. While I see some of the benefits for the children to have both parents always there, I don't see myself being okay with that situation...or the one you introduced..

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