SS13 sits down with DH the other day to tell me he doesn't think it's fair that I have skipped his activities on occasion to take care of my DSs, 15 and almost 17. DS16 is going to be a senior, has been doing college visits, tutoring for the SAT/ACT, plays sports, sings in 2 school groups, and has been learning to driver. Ex is completely absent and lives in another state so all transportation is on me. So, if SS has a game the same night as tutoring for the SAT, guess what is priority to me? The tutoring of course. The tutoring is a set schedule that we started in the beginning of the summer, 2 nites per week, before having the travel baseball schedule for SS.
So I very calmly try to explain that having 4 kids in the house means things have to be juggled. That he has a mom that is lives with half the time that goes to everything. That I don't enjoy missing the games but DS MUST go to tutoring. (he missed his goal scores by a very small margin, these will get him scholarships.) I explained that I am his stepmother and I feel he is expecting me to act like his mother and drop everything when he has something. I told him I felt he was being unfair. I explained that, if the 4 of them were ours together (no other parents) that this would be the same, that one kid would have to have one parent go with them and the other kid, the other parent.
Now, we have tried to parent them equally, giving no privelage to one that we wouldn't give to the other, age appropriate. Now it seems to have backfired. What do you think?