At what age will you put your girl on BC? (or your hypothetical girl)
I mean......if you are willing to be so progressive as to tell a 4 year old little girl the mechanics of how to have sex surely you will be just as progressive when the time comes right?
Or wrong?
Or is just "talking" about sex enough to keep your daughters from getting pregnant?
Quoting 1SpaZZedMom:
Quoting baparrot2:
Quoting 1SpaZZedMom:
My 11yoDS has begun the Gardisil shots, and my DDs will begin those as well when they are entering 6th grade.
I'm not sure at what age I'll put them on BC. I want them to be open and honest if they begin to be sexually active; not hide it. DH and I have discussed it and we'd rather put them on BC than not. We both feel that we can't be hypocritical and say "save yourself for marriage" as neither one of us did that. However, we feel it best to take the right preventative measures in making sure that our children are educated and know how to be "responsible" in the choices they make while dating; as well as all other choices they make as young adults.
I always said I would put my hypothetical 13 year old girl on BC no matter what. That is not exactly what happened. It was clear at 13 it was not warranted. Then I thought....maybe 14? It was still clear it was not needed. I allowed her to go on a date at 15 and although it wasnt AS clear it was not needed, I knew time might be coming soon. I put her on it the summer she was 16. She agreed it was time. She assured me that she was still a virgin. The GYN also substatiated that claim. It was there for her future protection. I am happy with my decision. Had she been a different type girl I may have done differently.
Going with all the hypothetical possibilities, and how well I can read my DD's during their teens and beginning of dating will determine at which actual age they are put on BC. Glad to hear that your DD was truthful and open with you, and able to discuss the options. That is exactly what I want in the future. :)
My ODD is much like me already at 7 when it comes to boys. Very apparent when she has a crush on a boy (one is a neighbor and in 4/5th grade). She tells me about boys at school who chase her around... I do tell her that it is normal for a boy to chase a girl he thinks is pretty.
I have had to have several discussions with her about the "smacking boys" (playfully). A few in our old neighborhood were not afraid to slap back. Of course, their BM/SM did discuss that it isn't appropriate to hit a girl and we both understood that the boys asked several times for my DD to not smack back before they slapped her (on the leg).
Because domestic violence is such a huge area of concern nowadays, I really want my DD to know that she MUST be careful in her flirty displays because I do not want to have to rescue her from an abusive relationship.
Her two BFFs are the age of her stepsister (who's still living with BM and we've not seen in a few months now) because she really misses her sister...) the rest of her friends are an old classmate of YSS, and boys. There are more boys here than an even split like the last place we lived. :-/
DD just started counseling and I hope that throughout some of the sessions, the therapist and psych can help her understand the (beginning) puberty issues she's already having and how boys and girls operate differently. It is one of our major issues right now along with attitude, disrespect and anger being unleashed at the wrong people.
Sorry, for unloading... I know you have perhaps been there as your DD is over twice the age of my DD. You can PM me any BM advice you have... I've so missed SMC during the stress of the summer! <3
Dont be sorry! Its good to think these things through before they happen! The one thing I always knew though is that I would put her on it BEFORE she needed it. It's just funny that when she was a toddler I had "13" set in my mind. But I did read her. Without rose colored glasses and that can be very hard for us mommies. But I guess I expected her to be just like me since she came from me. Boy was I wrong. She is nothing like me. I lost my virginity early. I just wanted a boy to like me. She displayed exactly the opposite. But I had to watch. Watch with outside eyes.
This of course came with much dialogue. I told her from the beginning of time I would protect her. I also made sure we talked about what being on BC really meant. That it was not carte blanche to go have sex. I remember her just looking at me with these eyes that said, "maybe that was for you mom, but it is not for me, please dont worry"
Here was something else I did after much talking. I told her that it might be just too hard to talk to me about something. She had a Crystal in her room since she was about 6. It has always been on her book self. Big, pretty, purple. I told her if she ever felt she just couldnt say it to please take the crystal and turn it around to face the wall. I think she liked having that option. but in the end, she just ended up telling me that is was OK to go see the GYN finally. She made sure to tell me that it wasnt an admittance to having sex but rather she sensed it might be time. I always told her BC takes a while to settle and work in her body and that it was not an overnight thing.
I dont know. I hope I did it right. All I know is she is not pregnant. She has had a boyfriend for the last 10 months. (same one) and she is looking forward to college.
im not sure. i started my period at 9 so i can only assume my daughter will too, or abouts. i would like to say that as long as shes a minor i can have some say in her borthcontrol- as in put in the implant that lasts years so she can get thru highschool and hopefully college with out getting pregnant- because i know that talking is one thing but it will be her decition to when she becomes sexually active so i cant control that.
our kids we want the best for but they arent us and they have their own mistakes to make and values to go by- no matter how much you want to parent them. I hope my daughter will make it out of college and married to a wonderful person and have a real job before starting a family.but teenagers are teenagers and no one can do anything about it, no matter how much we'd like to.
but i would also like her to be able to learn to cantrol and understand her body's hormones without the BC talking for her body. i guess when i start talking to her about babys and sex and love and relationships ill talk to her about BC and everything it means and hopefully she and i can make that decition together.
Quoting baparrot2:
Quoting 1SpaZZedMom:
Quoting baparrot2:
Quoting 1SpaZZedMom:
My 11yoDS has begun the Gardisil shots, and my DDs will begin those as well when they are entering 6th grade.
I'm not sure at what age I'll put them on BC. I want them to be open and honest if they begin to be sexually active; not hide it. DH and I have discussed it and we'd rather put them on BC than not. We both feel that we can't be hypocritical and say "save yourself for marriage" as neither one of us did that. However, we feel it best to take the right preventative measures in making sure that our children are educated and know how to be "responsible" in the choices they make while dating; as well as all other choices they make as young adults.
I always said I would put my hypothetical 13 year old girl on BC no matter what. That is not exactly what happened. It was clear at 13 it was not warranted. Then I thought....maybe 14? It was still clear it was not needed. I allowed her to go on a date at 15 and although it wasnt AS clear it was not needed, I knew time might be coming soon. I put her on it the summer she was 16. She agreed it was time. She assured me that she was still a virgin. The GYN also substatiated that claim. It was there for her future protection. I am happy with my decision. Had she been a different type girl I may have done differently.
Going with all the hypothetical possibilities, and how well I can read my DD's during their teens and beginning of dating will determine at which actual age they are put on BC. Glad to hear that your DD was truthful and open with you, and able to discuss the options. That is exactly what I want in the future. :)
My ODD is much like me already at 7 when it comes to boys. Very apparent when she has a crush on a boy (one is a neighbor and in 4/5th grade). She tells me about boys at school who chase her around... I do tell her that it is normal for a boy to chase a girl he thinks is pretty.
I have had to have several discussions with her about the "smacking boys" (playfully). A few in our old neighborhood were not afraid to slap back. Of course, their BM/SM did discuss that it isn't appropriate to hit a girl and we both understood that the boys asked several times for my DD to not smack back before they slapped her (on the leg).
Because domestic violence is such a huge area of concern nowadays, I really want my DD to know that she MUST be careful in her flirty displays because I do not want to have to rescue her from an abusive relationship.
Her two BFFs are the age of her stepsister (who's still living with BM and we've not seen in a few months now) because she really misses her sister...) the rest of her friends are an old classmate of YSS, and boys. There are more boys here than an even split like the last place we lived. :-/
DD just started counseling and I hope that throughout some of the sessions, the therapist and psych can help her understand the (beginning) puberty issues she's already having and how boys and girls operate differently. It is one of our major issues right now along with attitude, disrespect and anger being unleashed at the wrong people.
Sorry, for unloading... I know you have perhaps been there as your DD is over twice the age of my DD. You can PM me any BM advice you have... I've so missed SMC during the stress of the summer! <3
Dont be sorry! Its good to think these things through before they happen! The one thing I always knew though is that I would put her on it BEFORE she needed it. It's just funny that when she was a toddler I had "13" set in my mind. But I did read her. Without rose colored glasses and that can be very hard for us mommies. But I guess I expected her to be just like me since she came from me. Boy was I wrong. She is nothing like me. I lost my virginity early. I just wanted a boy to like me. She displayed exactly the opposite. But I had to watch. Watch with outside eyes.This is where I feel my DD will be opposite as well. I waited until age of 18 and put myself on BC at Planned Parenthood. All 3 of my kids are BC Pill babies... So, I want to let her know this, and that there are several options out there that will help protect her from being a mom too early, before she's ready. They all (the kids) know that I did not finish college the first time around because I ended up preg w/ DS and I had to make the choice to work 2 jobs at a time to take care of him and my bills. They respect that and understand that college now is very important not only to me, but their futures as well. :)
This of course came with much dialogue. I told her from the beginning of time I would protect her. I also made sure we talked about what being on BC really meant. That it was not carte blanche to go have sex. I remember her just looking at me with these eyes that said, "maybe that was for you mom, but it is not for me, please dont worry"
Here was something else I did after much talking. I told her that it might be just too hard to talk to me about something. She had a Crystal in her room since she was about 6. It has always been on her book self. Big, pretty, purple. I told her if she ever felt she just couldnt say it to please take the crystal and turn it around to face the wall. I think she liked having that option. That is a very good idea, to get something that she can "tell" and won't share. Right now, I just got her a journal that I'm calling her "emotional journal". So she can write about her feelings without throwing a tantrum. And, she knows that it is important her therapist see it, so that she can learn how to share with me and SDad, as well as how to properly display her feelings. She bottles up like I do, and I'm worried she has anxiety d/o like I do. but in the end, she just ended up telling me that is was OK to go see the GYN finally. She made sure to tell me that it wasnt an admittance to having sex but rather she sensed it might be time. I always told her BC takes a while to settle and work in her body and that it was not an overnight thing.
I dont know. I hope I did it right. All I know is she is not pregnant. She has had a boyfriend for the last 10 months. (same one) and she is looking forward to college. I think it is wonderful that she's been in the same relationship for that long already! I always knew that if I made it past 6 months, I had the right guy. Hell, my first marriage lasted 4 months by the time the judge signed the divorce papers dissolving the marriage. At two months, I'd moved out! And, he was by closest male friend for 11 years when we married.
College is wonderful! Your daughter has a strong head on her shoulders and she'll do great! I know you are extremely proud of her and her ability to think logically and with reason in all her choices. I can't wait to hear updates of her college experiences! :)
Marilyn vos Savant
I have ... I'm morally against birth control. If she researches and isn't then I will help her obtain it. Otherwise, the boys will have a condom drawer, I suppose she will have access as well.
Quoting GlockMom:
Wouldn't it be better to help her by doing that research with her? What teen girl is going to be self compelled enough for that?
Quoting andie646c:When my daughter can come to me and tell me the pros, cons and risks of birth control then I will know that she has made an informed and thoughtful decision. I will gladly take her to obtain her choice of bc.
I will not force my child to injest artificial hormones against her will.
- Andie -
Who pays the sitter?
Serious Venting....... (sorry so long)
- baparrot2
on Aug. 21, 2012 at 1:48 PM