At what age will you put your girl on BC? (or your hypothetical girl)
I mean......if you are willing to be so progressive as to tell a 4 year old little girl the mechanics of how to have sex surely you will be just as progressive when the time comes right?
Or wrong?
Or is just "talking" about sex enough to keep your daughters from getting pregnant?
My daughter is 17 now. She's known where babies come from since she was 7. Once she was entering middle school I told her how sex works. We've talked about sex a lot and I've told her that I cannot stop her from doing it, but that when she is ready she needs to make smart choices. That means having her potential partner get screened for STD's and using birth control. When she's ready I will help her make the right choice for her.
It depends on the girl. I am a nurse and always told my daughters that if they wanted to have sex they needed to ask themselves if they loved/cared about the boy enough to DIE for him. Went into the whole HIV/AIDS thing, and the fact about sleeping with boy 1 means your having sex with any partners he's had and any partners they've had etc....If after thinking that through they still wanted to have sex...they had to come to me. I vowed to them that I would not be their Mom for that conversation, I would be their nurse. I explained to them that BC only prevents pregnancy, they still HAD to use protection against STD. Over their pre-teen and teenage years I always said I believed it was best to wait to have sex. That is what I told them, but as a mom and RN I knew the reality. My oldest is very very picky about who she dates...weeds them out at the get go, and won't have a sexual relationship til she's married (is 22 now). That may change or may not, but at her age it is her responsibility. My youngest got a boyfriend at 16 (hated him!!) and I asked her if I needed to take her for BC. She told me no 2 times. She then came to me and said she wanted BC and would I go with her. No judgement, no moral lectures, just a bond of trust because I had promised. Good, bad, right wrong...it doesn't matter. She's now in college and doesn't have to deal with the issues of abortion, adoption, raising a baby herself etc that so many girls her age have had to handle. Went thru this with SD age 14 at the time (yeah yeah I knbow), but BM lied and said it for "bad periods". I knew the SD and her boyfriend were having sex so I butted into the whole issue with DH's permission and BM willing to listen (she though I would convince DH to allow it). I explained that the decision to use BC may be medical, but for them to discount her relationship with a boy was being shortsighted. I further explained that taking the pill is a problem for a grown woman - never mind a 14 yr old (forgetting to take it). I told them the choice was theirs as to whether or not they should put SD on BC but as a nurse I had to recommend the implant (goes in, stays in, no forgetting to take the pill). Every girl is different, every parent is different. The primary thing to remember is that they're gonna have sex...the only unknown variable is at what age. As parents you need to do a risk vs. benefit scenario. Also you need to remember that every state has an age of consent to treatment. For some states it's 14 for others it's 16. Just another pothole on the road of parenthood!
I was placed on BC at 12 years old and so was my sister. BC doesn't protect against STIs and they are also not 100% effective so we both had the common sense to wait until we had careers to support offspring before having sex.
surprising how many moms are going to wait till the girl gets a serious boyfriend or asks for it themselves.
I like this.
Quoting sassy711:It depends on the girl. I am a nurse and always told my daughters that if they wanted to have sex they needed to ask themselves if they loved/cared about the boy enough to DIE for him. Went into the whole HIV/AIDS thing, and the fact about sleeping with boy 1 means your having sex with any partners he's had and any partners they've had etc....If after thinking that through they still wanted to have sex...they had to come to me. I vowed to them that I would not be their Mom for that conversation, I would be their nurse. I explained to them that BC only prevents pregnancy, they still HAD to use protection against STD. Over their pre-teen and teenage years I always said I believed it was best to wait to have sex. That is what I told them, but as a mom and RN I knew the reality. My oldest is very very picky about who she dates...weeds them out at the get go, and won't have a sexual relationship til she's married (is 22 now). That may change or may not, but at her age it is her responsibility. My youngest got a boyfriend at 16 (hated him!!) and I asked her if I needed to take her for BC. She told me no 2 times. She then came to me and said she wanted BC and would I go with her. No judgement, no moral lectures, just a bond of trust because I had promised. Good, bad, right wrong...it doesn't matter. She's now in college and doesn't have to deal with the issues of abortion, adoption, raising a baby herself etc that so many girls her age have had to handle. Went thru this with SD age 14 at the time (yeah yeah I knbow), but BM lied and said it for "bad periods". I knew the SD and her boyfriend were having sex so I butted into the whole issue with DH's permission and BM willing to listen (she though I would convince DH to allow it). I explained that the decision to use BC may be medical, but for them to discount her relationship with a boy was being shortsighted. I further explained that taking the pill is a problem for a grown woman - never mind a 14 yr old (forgetting to take it). I told them the choice was theirs as to whether or not they should put SD on BC but as a nurse I had to recommend the implant (goes in, stays in, no forgetting to take the pill). Every girl is different, every parent is different. The primary thing to remember is that they're gonna have sex...the only unknown variable is at what age. As parents you need to do a risk vs. benefit scenario. Also you need to remember that every state has an age of consent to treatment. For some states it's 14 for others it's 16. Just another pothole on the road of parenthood!
Quoting baparrot2:surprising how many moms are going to wait till the girl gets a serious boyfriend or asks for it themselves.
When I was 16 my DR recommended I go on the pill to stabilize my periods. I refused to do it bc I didn't want to take a daily pill. My mom didn't have a problem with it either way. I knew that if I wanted the pill for actual birth control that I could get it with or without my parents permission. When I finally did choose to go on the pill at age 30, I got pregnant while on it, lol. So if I had a dd or sd, I would recommend using both the pill and condoms.
Quoting baparrot2:surprising how many moms are going to wait till the girl gets a serious boyfriend or asks for it themselves.
If we believed one may be sexually active, we would do so without a 2nd thought. We have no magical age though. We're hoping though, since we have such open communication now, that when the time comes, they will tell prior to becoming sexually active that there may be a need for BC.
Jealousy, confusion, frustration- oh joy...
32 and a grandmother.......but NOT the grandmother
- baparrot2
on Aug. 21, 2012 at 1:48 PM