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I had my SD over last week she is 5 going on 6 in Dec of this year.. I really don't get to see her that much because the mom send's her to my husband Anut when ever she can't but anyway. She was visiting last week and I had my friend over visting she brought her daughter to play with my Sd and my kid's well when my SD got in troub;e all I did is sit her down for 5 mins that's it and told her she can't hit no one (because I hate hitting and feel the kid's shouldn't hit each other) she look at me and told me Your not my mom I don't have to listen t you.. Now my Husband and Mother-in-law has help me out a lot about her telling me this but it hurt's my heart when she says that I have told her and her Dad has told her I am her stop mom and she has to listen.. What I am asking is what would you do if it was you I don't know what to do any more when her dad is at work she don't listen and tell me I am not her mom she don't have to listen I can't tell my husband he has to stay home and not work when she is her... I just don't know any more.

by on Aug. 22, 2012 at 12:00 PM
Replies (11-11):
by Silver Member on Aug. 23, 2012 at 9:12 AM

then your dh needs to get on her about it! he needs to make a consequences she will remember !  if she disrespects an adult , she pulls weeds and he sits and supervises, of she hits another child she does double the chores and he sits and supervises. it all falls on him!  pick something she really dislikes doing and make her do it! and don't let up because she cries or has a tantrum. the longer she puts it off the longer  the punishment takes. she will remember that. even if its sitting in a time out.she cant get off of that time out till she knows what she did was wrong and is calm. but dh has to be vigilant and stand his ground! no one else can do it . he needs to regain his control of her.

if she keeps missing things she wants to do she will remember  that if she disrespects an adult she wont get to do them. if your planing a trip to the zoo,mall,park,ect. then you still go. dh stays home with her and her punishment. do not buy anything for her because that rewards  the bad. she will learn that  by acting out she loses out.

if you are visiting and she hits a child apologise excuse yourselves and go home. put her in her time out. then when she is calm explain why she was taken away from the fun. make her apologise to who she hit. but again your dh needs to do it and he needs to stand his ground. the both of you need to sit her down and explain the rules no hitting ,biting,back talk,disrespect ect.

 remind her bm does not make the rules in your home .if she is telling her to not listen to you she needs to be made aware that this is your home and she needs to listen to the adult in charge in your home. if it is not controlled now it is going to get worse.

Quoting benskypay1985:

Dad and I have been together 6 years going on 7 and been marries 3 years.. She know's who I am what I was saying we don't get het that much because the mom send's her to his Anuts all the time basically the anut has 85% of the time she has 3 sisters and 3 brothers that would like to see her.. She is even mean to her sister and 2 brothers that live with her. She even told her grand mother that she don't love the grand mother its basically out of control where she think's she can do what she want's and when she went to pre school they had to kick her out because of her behavior she is going into indergarden and I don't need kick out of school I or the Dad don't know what to do do. My ss that is 13 and my other sd that is 7 say's she can do whatever at home that is why she is like this and we can't control her mom's house and she know's I am not her mom Dad has told her plenty of time's even thow I am not her real mom I am her step mom she still need's to listen to me because I am adult and she has to respect me. I don;t know if she is crying out for attention she gets plenty of that or what. I or the Dad don't know what to do anymore. 

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