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DH finally had to deal with his angel - Meet and greet @ school funny (2pt)

Posted by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 10:08 AM
  • 10 Replies

Boy have we had a week and finally DH had to deal with it because I refused. This past thursday I had a doctors appt and my DH went with just in case I got sent to hospital cause mesh patch is infected. Well we left both girls at home with my 17 year old babysitting. 15 min's after getting to the doctor my son was calling my cell. The oldest SD was acting up again, he said she was fine when she got up and had breakfest but then she started the same crap she does to her teachers when she's not getting her way. Acting like she doesn't know where or who she is and when told to do something she does the opp. She does this when it's time for school and she doesn't want to go and when she doesn't  want to do her school work. he got so bad about wanting her way last year that she tried leaving school twice. When school social worker asked why she told her cause her mommy told her she could! Anyway I had my son tell DH what she was doing and he had her put on the phone and he did the usual of telling her she better strighten up, yeah like that was gonna work,lol...when we got home she was still doing her thing, he would tell her to put on her glasses and she would grab something else and swear it was her glasses, tell her to go into time out and she'd go out the door, I refused to deal with it this time cause for 6 years I have delt with it cause he would be at work or getting ready for work.This went on all day, during supper she was fine but as soon as she was done and was told no tv due to her behavior she started again so bad that when we said enough go get in the shower and get to bed she went to the bathroom stripped and then tried walking naked thru the house, finally going into her room got her sister conforter wrapping it around herself going back to bathroom and started urinateing. I tried putting her in shower and she started fighting me, I couldn't wrestle her due to my surgical spot busting back open so her father had to physically put her in the tub I then had to stand there and make her wash. when she was done she went in room and tried to get in bed naked and  made her standup and handed her her night gown she then slappe my glasses off my face and got dressed. It was all I could do not to smack her, instead I walked out the room and told DH if she ever did that again, she would know what a good old fashion spanking is all about. Friday morning came and I called her doctor and made a appt to bring her in yesterday. Now we are going the shrink route again, like its gonna do any good. When we sat her down on friday and asked her why she acted the way she did she said cause I don't want to go to mommie's....That is court ordered and only 2 weekends out the month, she knows this won't change!! Well we had meet and greet last night at her school and when her father and I tried to talk with her teacher about her behavior last year and now it was starting again at home and that we were doing what needed to be done the teacher responded by ," ahh I know I'm not going to have any problems with her we are going to become good friends this year"...and when we told her that just in case she does please send her to the school SW, she just walked away.. I know this is going to be a year so when she calls saying that this child has done this or refuses to do that or tried to leave the school I'm gonna remind he of what she said!!!

by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 10:08 AM
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by Platinum Member on Aug. 23, 2012 at 10:20 AM

 too hard to read. sorry.

by Silver Member on Aug. 23, 2012 at 10:20 AM
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Full psychological evaluation with evaluation for wrap around services....find a local behavioral health agency and request this!!! Also, if she is getting violent, you can consider the ER and inpatient services. I'd probably also go for a neurological evaluation to rule out any possibility of an organic cause.

For you, I'd suggest a glass - or bottle! - of wine and some quiet time as often as you can. When DH is home, you and the other children should go into your rooms and close and lock the doors. DH should handle it 100%. She should also not have an audience - the attention is encouraging her to do it more. The general rule with behaviors is to encourage those that you'd like to see again and jg ore those you donot want to see. Ask her to do something....ignore weirdness...ask again...then tell her that you will help her do it - help her perform tthe task hand over hand if necessary. This excludes dressing and bathing - if she can't perform these on her own, then she just misses out on things shed like to do until she does. This does not include school - put clothes on over her pajamas so she is covered and then send her - let the tea her and guidance know that you are doing this.

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by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 10:47 AM
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What the hell?!

Has she been diagnosed with a mental illness? How old is she?

by Ruby Member on Aug. 23, 2012 at 10:56 AM

Quoting jlg12678:

What the hell?!

Has she been diagnosed with a mental illness? How old is she?

This is what I'm wondering as there any history of abuse  or neglect going on?!

by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 11:01 AM
Her behavior is not normal. It makes me question if something is going on at moms. Keep going to the shrink. It may not help immediately but it will help over time. Has she been evaluated for any mental health disorders?
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by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 11:14 AM
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Her behavior is regrettable. Since it sounds like she has been the shrink route, what is her diagnoses? I think you might do well by trying to find someone who does narrative therapy. It has done wonders for kids who are out of control, including shitting everywhere and other out of line stuff.

I wonder if ignoring this would work. When she does something stupid like puts a book on her face and says it is her glasses, just ignore unless it is dangerous. Don't laugh either. Don't act like it is sick or a tragedy. Just ignore. Because she is milking it for all it is worth. I feel sorry for the other kids in the family.

Because just from this one post, it sounds like she is getting incredible mileage out of all this. Negative attention. And it also sounds like she can control it if things are going her way. In other words, it is purposeful and manipulative. Narrative therapy would help with this as well.

As for the teacher's remarks, all teachers think they are the miracle workers that will heal a difficult child. Just ignore it. She will learn.

by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 12:24 PM

I'm with the ladies here, is she seeing a therapist?

by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 12:56 PM

What was the diagnosis from the shrink?  Maybe she needs another one if that one didn't provide any diagnosis or treatment plan.  Is something going on at BM's house.  This child is attention seeking but she is also very very angry and scared.  She is urinating on herself and she hit you.  She needs an intensive evaluation ASAP   Good luck

by Member on Aug. 23, 2012 at 1:09 PM

To me it sounds like she is getting the reaction she is looking for. I would ignore her honestly. Unless she leaves the house then bring her back in and lock the doors. I would put her in her room. If she refuses to take a shower then fine go to your room. If she wants to be naked go in your room. I would stop forcing her to change. You can tell her if she wants to act this way she can do it alone in her room. But untill she wants to follow the rules she can stay in her room. Take every thing out of her room but her bed. She is pushing buttons and you are giving her the negative attention she is seaking.

Also if she does somthing bad while in room like peeing on the floor or worse yet pooping. I would at like it is no big deal and just say "now you cant come out untill you clean that up". She will realize this is not working anymore and she will stop. If she does not stop then i would get a therapist involved.

My SS used to do stuff like this, and my DH would get so up set and yell at him. I asked if i could try something and what i wrote above is what i did. After about a week it stopped and all i would have to say if he would act up is "your more then welcome to go act like this in your room, we dont need to see this" and he would change his mood reallly quick.

by on Aug. 24, 2012 at 8:15 AM

There is a history of abuse on her mothers part toward her and her sister. She is 9 years old and she's been in councling since she was 3 ( it was court ordered at that time) now for the last 3 years I have had her in councling hoping it would help, but it hasn't. She has seen 3 different counclers and they all say the same thing she will talk about home and school but when it comes to her visits with mom she clams up. She had a mental eval done when she was 5 and it came back that she was a typical child that had been thru abuse. Councling was recommended to continue. Her primary care doctor is now going to send her to another phy (shrink) and have her reevalated at my request. She asked me if her mother sufferes from any mental illness and we have heard her say several times that she is on 3 different types of depression meds but when you ask her what type she says ol I'm not taking them anymore. THe doctor feels this child is suffering from a type of Bi-Polar disorder..I am at my wit ends with the whole thing. I called BM last night to talk about what is going on with her child and that this year I expect her to come to all conferances concerning this child and all I got was I'm in beauty school now and not going to be able to get out of class to deal with her. I wanted to reach thru the phone and choke her but I kept my cool and asked if anyone suffers from any mental illness in her family. She acted as if she took offence and said no, no one in her family is mental they just suffer from anixety. If it was one of my children I would be doing whatever I needed to do to help, not walk away from the issues and go on with my life..I really hope this next evaluation tells us something because I've done all I can...  : (

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