Do you consider yourself to have a strong marriage? What makes it strong? What makes it weak?
dh and i are very strong. we work together very well. they always say if you can get through a home remodle project without a divorce then you will be togther forever lol. well my house always has a room torn up for remodle. we have our time together almost every day, we sit and talk over coffee. he supports what i want to do and i support what he wants.
he is going back to school in january for his paramedic. that will be very trying on us 20 class hours a week,20 clinical house a week,plus working full time and all of his other part time jobs. we will never see each other.im hopeing to go back to work just to get out of the house. now throw in dd and her activities,ss and his. by the time he is done with school we are going to need a vacation just to reconnect!
Id say on a scale of 1 to 10, its a 1. Its gotten a lot better the past few weeks and right now, its either going to get so much better or worse I'm not sure. We put in an offer for a 2 bedroom condo, they have 5 other offers... and I'm hoping they pick us! No stepsons will be living there with an untrained, agressive, disgusting dog that I just feel super bad for. they can visit, etc... but I'm tired of getting yelled at for taking care of my kids and havingf to clean up after 6-10 adults every day.
in our case, its weak because he doesnt really listen to me. I have no voice and no right to have an opinion on my girls care.
for example I was nursing DD2 born 8/2/12. SS didnt think she needed to eat. I am upstairs in my dd and my bedroom, laying on the bed feeding her with a blanket over us. SS grabs my infant baby's feet and drags her down along the bed, yanking her off my boob. It was super painful since she had a great latch.
I cant explain to them BF babies need to eat ever 1 1/2 half-2 hours because bm is natural and easy to digest. her tummy empties about every 90 minutes.... that formula fed babies go longer between feedings because formula takes longer to digest....
but of course, I know nothing. Their BM who formula fed knows everything... and I can not make the choice to fed my infant daughter when shes trying to latch on my boob through my shirt because shes hungry.
i dont know what mnakes my dh and i marriage strong. We get along great without sk issues... but we are working on this part.
I'll be married in a couple more weeks. I feel like our relationship is strong. We support each other and encourage each other to be our very best. We encourage personal growth, relationship growth and respect each others other relationships (friends/family). We value together time just as much as we value time that we spend with our friends. We respect each other. We love our children as our own - even though we don't share any bio children. We communicate constantly. We make time for each other - even when we are exhausted.
Not only am I modified, a proud member of a hook suspension crew, slightly crazy, a writer and lots of fun. I'm also pansexual, an active member in the BDSM community, soon to be married, totally monogamous and the proud mum to two kick ass little boys.
We been married for 31 yrs. now & at first our marriage was weak, because of all the drama we got from his kids & BM. Because DH was a weak man, he let his kids & ex run over him and that caused us problems. But after about 7 yrs. or so, the kids & BM finally gave up trying to break up me & DH. But then they eventually quit having anything to do with DH. Our marriage had grown & gotten stronger over the years.
Our marriage strength quotient depends on the day and the amount of drama caused by skids or his ex. We've been married for 5 years together for 61/2 and it has taken a HUGE toll on us. Financially, emotionally, & physically. My DH had full custody and BM left without her kids to live 4 hours away. She was/is an addict/alcoholic and was incredibly irresponsible, immature and lazy. She filled their minds with poison. His kids have alot of issues from what and how BM was. DH was weak at first...didn't stand up to his kids or his ex. Then his oldest basically told him to pick between me or her. DH told her not to put him in that position because she would loose. I didn't know about any of this at the time, if I had I would have given him ways to soften that harsh statement. Basically since then it's been a rollercoaster. Lots and lots of drama and chaos. I tried to stay out of as much as i could but it was happening in OUR home (not the home DH and ex had, but the one we renovated and moved into) and it was affecting my kids. His oldest DD left & moved in with BM, that lasted about 1 yr. SS left and moved in with BM about 1 yr after that. Came to us begging to come home after 7 months. Youngest SD is 17 and a senior in high school...she's riding the fence between here and BM's (pretty smart). My girls are out and in college (my baby left last week) DH and I get along so very well, very similar in thought, personality and temperment. We have the same values, spiritual beliefs, way of doing things and really really enjoy each other's company more than anyone else's. He's almost 55 and I am 51 (ouch!!) We're getting too old for this crap! On the plus side BM is getting better, working now, no more pills but still drinks too much (so we've been told). The relationship between me and the skids is still really strained (huge blow up back in March of this year), but they're too busy with their own lives now to cause much more trouble. His oldest 2 are adults now. Our marriage was strong enough to make it through all that #$%&, so I guess it'll stay strong 'till the end. I believe that what makes our marriage strong is our belief in each other, knowledge that what we do have is special and rare, that everything will eventually run its course, and most importantly our FAITH. We pray alot. We've been through health scares (both of us), kid issues, MIL issues (very old and in poor health), job layoffs, ex issues, money issues etc. Man we packed 25+ years of living into 5. That is what makes us and our marriage strong. What makes it weak? When we don't have our weekly allotment of us time. We've both figured out that we have a minimum threshold we have to have of together time (drinking coffee in the morning, driving somewhere, time at night, a date on the weekend). If we don't have that then we forget about the US and get caught up in the ME. We don't do that anymore. We really are each other's best friend. Sounds sappy but true
Quoting mamabear484:We been married for 31 yrs. now & at first our marriage was weak, because of all the drama we got from his kids & BM. Because DH was a weak man, he let his kids & ex run over him and that caused us problems. But after about 7 yrs. or so, the kids & BM finally gave up trying to break up me & DH. But then they eventually quit having anything to do with DH. Our marriage had grown & gotten stronger over the years.
I have a strong marriage, we are life partners, we work together and play together, we enjoy each other and we don't fight, we have healthy discussions. I know I will be married to this man forever.
We have a very strong marriage. I think what makes us strong is that we both give each other the room to stand alone on things we need to handle separately but both step in for the other when needed. The level of trust we have in each other is astounding. We also spend adequate amount of time away from each other, room to breathe solo is the best thing so far for our time together.
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