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Can a judge force you to pay...?

Posted by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 2:48 PM
  • 16 Replies

My DH cannot afford anything after he pays for child support and various other expenses dealing with his child.  He contributes nothing to our other children or our home except half of our necessary household bills (utilies & mortgage).  If he benefits from me at all, his ex can go after my money.  He was just told he has to pay for weekly tutoring for his daughter.  (She already gets free tutoring through the school so this is in addition to). His ex is taking him to court over the issue.  Can a judge force him to pay for extra tutoring?

by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 2:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
pepper504
by Gold Member on Aug. 23, 2012 at 2:50 PM
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If he can show that she can get free tutoring through the school, then he may catch a break.  If the judge orders him to pay for his portion of xyz, he has to pay that portion, if not, he will be in contempt of court should BM file for that.

MommySabs
by Gold Member on Aug. 23, 2012 at 2:58 PM
He can be compelled to pay for half.
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WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Aug. 23, 2012 at 2:59 PM
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He could be.  But if CS is taking up that much of his income he should look at having it reduced.

FresshAir
by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 3:00 PM
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Are you completely certain his ex can go after your money?  BM tried this in every way she could think of, to no avail.  After we married, she still wanted my money and couldn't get to it.  I am safe.  I wanted to ask in case you may actually be safe from this, too - it's worth looking into.  His income and obligations to the other children should all be calculated out.  Where I am from, it's just math - they factor everything in on a worksheet; there is no arguing.  Tutoring is not considered a basic need (unless there was a learning disability), so that expense would be the choice of the CP and not an obligation for the NCP.  But this is just my experience; I would take some time to do a lot of research for what is done in your area.

QueenBof6
by Silver Member on Aug. 23, 2012 at 3:02 PM
This

Quoting WifeyC:

He could be.  But if CS is taking up that much of his income he should look at having it reduced.

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MommySabs
by Gold Member on Aug. 23, 2012 at 3:03 PM
She can motion to have him required to pay a percentage of all other fees and expenses directly related to the child. My ex is and would be required to pay his portion of the tutoring .


Quoting FresshAir:

Are you completely certain his ex can go after your money?  BM tried this in every way she could think of, to no avail.  After we married, she still wanted my money and couldn't get to it.  I am safe.  I wanted to ask in case you may actually be safe from this, too - it's worth looking into.  His income and obligations to the other children should all be calculated out.  Where I am from, it's just math - they factor everything in on a worksheet; there is no arguing.  Tutoring is not considered a basic need (unless there was a learning disability), so that expense would be the choice of the CP and not an obligation for the NCP.  But this is just my experience; I would take some time to do a lot of research for what is done in your area.


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momx2stepmomx1
by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 3:12 PM

I don't understand.  He has no money leftover.  He is in fact in the red every month after paying. The court just took each of their incomes from last year and came up with a percentage of what each one was responsible for contributing to the child.  Nothing else was added to the equation. His income from last year was way higher because of overtime.  Which is not a guaranteed part of his salary and should not have been figured in, but here it is.  Because of that he was screwed.  We are going to go back in january to re-figure everything, but in the meantime how is he supposed to find money to pay for something when he simply doesn't have it? I think it's extremely unfair. He said he would compromise and send her twice a month, but even then he has to somehow find a way to pay.  This has nothing to do with him wanting to deny his daughter all available help...it just means that he cannot afford to provide every luxury for her.  The ex can because of his child support and her parents paying for everything.

momx2stepmomx1
by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 3:19 PM

Our lawyer said that we had to keep everything separate and contribute equally to the household.  Until his daughter turns 18, my husband will have to live like a pauper.  He cannot afford to get a new vehicle and even if we could as a couple, if i pay for his car note he benefits and leaves me wide open, apparently.   I have a successful business which he can't benefit from at all because of the laws here. I pay for all of our entertainment as a family, medical bills for our kids (their deliveries, prescriptions, doctor's visits, etc...), school, clothes (his clothes, too), food, you name it.  I also have to give him cash to pay for other things.  It's unfortunate because we are both of the mindset that we share everything and had a joint account until she realized she could hurt him by putting her hand in his pocketbook.  We are now forced to split our money. 

Quoting FresshAir:

Are you completely certain his ex can go after your money?  BM tried this in every way she could think of, to no avail.  After we married, she still wanted my money and couldn't get to it.  I am safe.  I wanted to ask in case you may actually be safe from this, too - it's worth looking into.  His income and obligations to the other children should all be calculated out.  Where I am from, it's just math - they factor everything in on a worksheet; there is no arguing.  Tutoring is not considered a basic need (unless there was a learning disability), so that expense would be the choice of the CP and not an obligation for the NCP.  But this is just my experience; I would take some time to do a lot of research for what is done in your area.


rose0919
by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 9:02 PM
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who told you she could go after your money???? and if he has had a change in income he can file for a modification. bm cant touch my money. she has tried in every way shape or form , the judge actually got mad at her for  trying to spin things around to her benifit. are they factoring in your income on cs??? if they dont they they cant touch your money.

Momniscient
by Member on Aug. 23, 2012 at 9:02 PM

Yep if his income supports it.

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