DH and I were talking, we are meeting with BM in 2 weeks to try to come to an agreement to present to court regarding visitation, CS, and taxes. The last time they could not agree before court and the judge gave a visitation schedule that is not working for any of us. Visitation we have already kinda ironed out and will double check when we meet.
CS: DH is willing to end CS. BM will be 100% responsible for YSS, DH will be 100% responsible for OSS. Currently under split custody DH is suppose to receive around $250/ month since BM claims to make so much more than DH and DH pays for insurance. DH will agree to no CS if BM pays her arrears and continues to pay the current CS until she is able to get insurance for YSS, once we remove YSS from our insurance BM CS will end.
Taxes: DH is willing to drop the contempt case/ tax fraud for BM using both SSs on her 2011 taxes after DH was awarded the tax exemptions by the judge if BM will agree for DH to claim YSS for 2012. After 2012, BM can claim YSS, DH will only claim OSS. It will be made clear that if we go to file our taxes in 2012 and are told YSS has already been used, our attorney will file a tax fraud claim with the IRS and let them deal with BM. BM is already aware that she violated federal tax law by using SSs for EIC when she did not qualify for the credit and it is our choice to settle in family court or to contact IRS, unless she chooses to report herself...
Does this sound fair?
Why does BM have to get insurance on only one kid? Your DH is already paying for it and it doesn't matter how many kids are on the policy, he will still pay the same amount.
BM has moved across the state, she is having issues finding in-network providers, which is increasing medical costs and she is responsible for 60% medical. DH left the choice to BM on whether he continued to provide insurance or if YSS will be put on BMs' SO's insurance when they are married in a few months.
Quoting WifeyC:
Why does BM have to get insurance on only one kid? Your DH is already paying for it and it doesn't matter how many kids are on the policy, he will still pay the same amount.
I would continue the $250/month CS from BM and have both skids on your insurance, at least you know that is dependable, who knows when and how long BM will keep insurance on them.
I don't know your sitch, why are you going to this meeting?
Neither DH or I would agree to it either. I agree with everything yesmaam said. I understand she is out of network and I still wouldn't do it. Does she have custody of 1 and your DH have custody of the other? It almost sounds like that but I wanted to clarify before I said anything else.
Quoting yesmaam:
Nope, I wouldn't do it. Send in the CO with your amended tax returns for the past three years or the years that BM screwed up and let them deal with it, they will do an audit on both of you and with hold BMs future returns until its paid back to you.
I would continue the $250/month CS from BM and have both skids on your insurance, at least you know that is dependable, who knows when and how long BM will keep insurance on them.
I don't know your sitch, why are you going to this meeting?
Quoting rebeccasmly:
You call me a bitch like it's a bad thing
I didn't know they had a nation-wide coverage option. We have never had to look into that since our coverage covers doctors even a couple hours away. I think that is awesome though!
Quoting yesmaam:
DH as always provided health insurance for SS, he opted for the more expensive plan b/c SS was in another state so BM could locate in network providers in her area....either way DH was required to pay 50% out of pocket...its cheaper to just pay the little extra for the nationwide coverage :)
Quoting rebeccasmly:
I am going to the meeting b/c the one thing that BM and DH agree on is that I am a parental figure in SSs lives and over the past 5 years they have both used me as a mediator to the other parent. Even with all the issues going on over the past year BM knows that I am the first one to call DH on his actions when he is just being an ass and I can do it without escalating the situation. DH knows that BM is more likely to be receptive to me. They both have too much hate and hurt towards each other and both have trouble stepping out of their argument cycle to figure out the best things for the kids, they have both acknowledged that and asked for help. It may not be the norm, but it has worked for us.
Quoting yesmaam:
Nope, I wouldn't do it. Send in the CO with your amended tax returns for the past three years or the years that BM screwed up and let them deal with it, they will do an audit on both of you and with hold BMs future returns until its paid back to you.
I would continue the $250/month CS from BM and have both skids on your insurance, at least you know that is dependable, who knows when and how long BM will keep insurance on them.
I don't know your sitch, why are you going to this meeting?
Yes, BM has YSS, DH has OSS.
Quoting rebeccasmly:
Neither DH or I would agree to it either. I agree with everything yesmaam said. I understand she is out of network and I still wouldn't do it. Does she have custody of 1 and your DH have custody of the other? It almost sounds like that but I wanted to clarify before I said anything else.
Quoting yesmaam:
Nope, I wouldn't do it. Send in the CO with your amended tax returns for the past three years or the years that BM screwed up and let them deal with it, they will do an audit on both of you and with hold BMs future returns until its paid back to you.
I would continue the $250/month CS from BM and have both skids on your insurance, at least you know that is dependable, who knows when and how long BM will keep insurance on them.
I don't know your sitch, why are you going to this meeting?
We do not have a nationwide coverage option as insurance is through work, not self purchase. We have extended network, but that only covers during travel/ emergencies. PCPs must be from the local network. We were able to use extended network when YSS hurt his foot, b/c it was considered an accident that happened during "visitation". But if YSS goes in for a regular well child, BM will be charged out-of-network since that is a PCP service, same with his therapy.
Quoting yesmaam:
DH as always provided health insurance for SS, he opted for the more expensive plan b/c SS was in another state so BM could locate in network providers in her area....either way DH was required to pay 50% out of pocket...its cheaper to just pay the little extra for the nationwide coverage :)
Quoting rebeccasmly:
If BP doesn't have the money to see the kid.
Do You Think 50/50 Custody Is Good For the Kids?
- colema11
on Aug. 24, 2012 at 8:16 AM