For those who believe mom should not use "dad's" last name after divorce maybe because others will think she is still married to him, think she somehow acts like she is still married to him, or because you or your husband just hate it or don't want to be associated with her in that way -
What about if mom doesn't want you taking your husband's last name because it is the same as her kids? What if she doesn't want people thinking you're her kids mom or thinks you'll act or think like their mom because people assume that a woman with a kids last name is mom a lot of the time if mom isn't known. Maybe she just doesn't want you associated with her kids at all.
Would you care that it bothered her? Or would you expect her to just deal with you changing your last name to a different one?
Because, let's be honest, it is a lot easier to pull some crappy stunts when you have the same last name as a minor in your care/your husband's care than it is as an adult to pass herself off as the wife of someone.
I would not have liked if BM was married to DH, the last name thing would bug me but I don't think that is a first wife's problem. Too bad for SM and too bad for BM, a woman's last name is hers and hers alone to decide.
I don't expend my energy on petty things outside of my control. If you are referring to my last name post, I was just honestly curious. Neither DH nor I have ever thought we had the right to tell her to change her last name, nor does it actually affect us in any way. It doesn't "bother" me, but I was surprised when she didn't change it after remarrying (twice). If she cared that I took my DH's last name when I married him, I'd just roll my eyes and continue with my life as usual. I don't think it bothers her anyway, and I've never pulled a crappy stunt when it comes to my skids.
People really have to get over their insecurities. If a woman is going to be crazy, it doesn't matter what her last name is.
Marriage doesnt hold the same value it once did. Which is why more and more blended families out weight first families and marriages.
SS and DD have daddys last name.
BM nor I carry his last name.
I think its sad that another women would or chooses too pretend to be the childs mother.
I do plan to marry i do plan to change my name thats part of marriage
You have a point.
I don't care if DH's ex kept his name. It works to her advantage since she's had it for more than 20 years now...if she changed it, no one would know who she is here. In my opinion, being bothered by the fact that #1 still has DH's last name is petty and immature. But that's just my opinion.
I didn't keep my ex's last name because I didn't want to be associated w/ him when he left. He wanted me to keep it so people wouldn't get confused about me having a diff last name than our son. I didn't give 2 shits about confusing other people about our names, so I just went back to my maiden name. When peoplen referred to me by my former last name, I'd just correct them and say, Mrs. X is my ex mother in law. lol
Quoting Polkadotted:
People really have to get over their insecurities. If a woman is going to be crazy, it doesn't matter what her last name is.
I love this. It is so true.
Pauls mom uses her new last name as a way to get back at my husband. It's kinda funny. She will sign her emails when they are fighting Mrs. (new last name) --- SF was the other man so it just is to rub it in.
Who cares that you cheated you just are proving what an ass you are.
I'm going to have a shirt made...
- packermomof2
on Aug. 25, 2012 at 12:40 PM