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Meet the teacher night. that was fun, NOT.

Posted by on Aug. 29, 2012 at 8:46 PM
  • 21 Replies

Tonight was meet the teacher night for DF's DD's school. She's going into first grade.  I had posted here before about how BM didn't want DF to go to meet the teacher night, you might remember it. 

So I went with DF because BM was bringing her boyfriend anyway so we figured what the heck.  We went in with the custody papers that state that DF has joint legal custody. So we get to the classroom and the registration card is laying on the desk filled out so that if the children's parents need to make corrections they can. DF looks at the card and BM has filled it out. DF is not mentioned ANYWHERE on it.  Under father's information she has put her BOYFRIEND'S information and didn't put him anywhere under emergency contact or anything, under the question who has legal custody? there is a spot to circle "natural parents" "mother" or "father" and she has just circled mother.  So we all hang out in the room and meet the teacher and when his DD gets done with the classroom scavenger hunt BM and her bf start to go and his DD goes with them because they still have 20 minutes until he picks her up for his parenting time. and then BM sees that DF and I are staying in the classroom. she asks DF isn't he coming and he says no he would meet them at her house to pick up his DD. She looks pissed but doesn't say anything.

After she left DF explains to the teacher that he has joint legal custody of his daughter and rights to reasonable parenting time. He tells her that he wants to make changes to the card to include his information and change the legal custody status.  She is understanding and tells him to go ahead so he does all that and also asks her to send him any notes, progress reports, report cards, etc. She takes his information and said that she will keep him updated on everything. Then he goes to the office and has them make a copy of the CO and has them put his name in the computer under emergency contact because he was nowhere in the system and also makes sure that since they have the CO that BM can't come in and take his name off anything.  So we go to leave the school and BM calls DF's cellphone and starts in on him "what are you doing there?? I heard you were in the office. what could you possibly need to talk to them about? you're acting shady, I'm on my way back to that school to find out what you're doing" He was like "I'm on my way to the apartment to pick up DD". So we get to the apartment and BM puts their DD back in the car and proceeds to yell at DF again and says she's going back to the school to see what he's done and he told her what he did and she was like "they don't need to send you anything, I can give you progress reports and information, you dont need to be talking to them without me there" This went on for about 10 minutes before she finally gave him his DD. We took her out to eat and then were driving to the park when lo and behold who do we see coming from the school but BM.  grrr... that woman is a piece of work.  I told DF I thought he was wrong, even though he wasn't raising his voice and she was, for even entertaining her argument when their DD was right next to them in the car.  But I just can't believe that woman. That she would put her boyfriends info in the father spot? and that she thinks DF can't talk to the school without her overseeing the convo? omg... she is so psychotically controlling.

by on Aug. 29, 2012 at 8:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Aug. 29, 2012 at 8:50 PM
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It might have been better if your boyfriend went the next day and fixed the card, so that his daughter would not be aware of any of this animosity.

but other than that, I think your boyfriend did the right thing. He needs to make sure the school has his information. but maybe meet-the-teacher night is just not the right time.

EricaG87
by Bronze Member on Aug. 29, 2012 at 8:53 PM

 well that was why he waited until after they all left and also we live a half hour from the school and DF works during times that they're open so it's more pratical to do it tonight. i understand where you're coming from though.

Quoting whatIknownow:

It might have been better if your boyfriend went the next day and fixed the card, so that his daughter would not be aware of any of this animosity.

but other than that, I think your boyfriend did the right thing. He needs to make sure the school has his information. but maybe meet-the-teacher night is just not the right time.

 

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Aug. 29, 2012 at 8:55 PM

I have to agree with WIKN.  Your SO has every right to be on contact information, but maybe he should have done it on the downlow and pretended that he knew nothing about what BM was up to.

And, I'm adding, if you're still thinking about volunteering at SO's DS's school, well, maybe you better rethink that...especially if BM is as combative as she was on school night.  I can just imagine her going to the school and telling them that you're there to spy on the boy or even her! lol

EricaG87
by Bronze Member on Aug. 29, 2012 at 8:59 PM

 you must be confusing me for someone else, I never planned on volunteering at DF's DD's school. I have a job and three kids of my own to keep up with, I don't have time to drive to is DD's town and get all up in that business. Maybe he should have done it a different day, but I think he's sick of tip toeing around his ex to prevent her psychotic meltdowns. And also, personally,  I think she should know that he added himself.  I did not expect her to blow up in front of her child seeing as she always talks about how good of a mother she is

Quoting sandeeyo:

I have to agree with WIKN.  Your SO has every right to be on contact information, but maybe he should have done it on the downlow and pretended that he knew nothing about what BM was up to.

And, I'm adding, if you're still thinking about volunteering at SO's DS's school, well, maybe you better rethink that...especially if BM is as combative as she was on school night.  I can just imagine her going to the school and telling them that you're there to spy on the boy or even her! lol

 

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Aug. 29, 2012 at 9:07 PM

Sorry about that...there was someone else that talked about volunteering at her ss's school.  Tis the season for school open house days! lol

And, some folks are just plain crazy, both SMs and BMs.  I think a good rule of thumb in this case is to expect the unexpected.

Quoting EricaG87:

 you must be confusing me for someone else, I never planned on volunteering at DF's DD's school. I have a job and three kids of my own to keep up with, I don't have time to drive to is DD's town and get all up in that business. Maybe he should have done it a different day, but I think he's sick of tip toeing around his ex to prevent her psychotic meltdowns. And also, personally,  I think she should know that he added himself.  I did not expect her to blow up in front of her child seeing as she always talks about how good of a mother she is

Quoting sandeeyo:

I have to agree with WIKN.  Your SO has every right to be on contact information, but maybe he should have done it on the downlow and pretended that he knew nothing about what BM was up to.

And, I'm adding, if you're still thinking about volunteering at SO's DS's school, well, maybe you better rethink that...especially if BM is as combative as she was on school night.  I can just imagine her going to the school and telling them that you're there to spy on the boy or even her! lol

 


rose0919
by on Aug. 29, 2012 at 9:08 PM

dh  isnt going to back to school night this year for ss. he will be in boston for training for  work that day but he will be making an appointment with ss's teacher and new principal. last year bm actually put a different last name on ss's paperwork. so again he will be going up to the school with the co and his birth certificate. 

 with everything going on right now with bm i stay as far away as i can. and so is dh.

EricaG87
by Bronze Member on Aug. 29, 2012 at 9:16 PM

 it's ok! :)

Quoting sandeeyo:

Sorry about that...there was someone else that talked about volunteering at her ss's school.  Tis the season for school open house days! lol

And, some folks are just plain crazy, both SMs and BMs.  I think a good rule of thumb in this case is to expect the unexpected.

Quoting EricaG87:

 you must be confusing me for someone else, I never planned on volunteering at DF's DD's school. I have a job and three kids of my own to keep up with, I don't have time to drive to is DD's town and get all up in that business. Maybe he should have done it a different day, but I think he's sick of tip toeing around his ex to prevent her psychotic meltdowns. And also, personally,  I think she should know that he added himself.  I did not expect her to blow up in front of her child seeing as she always talks about how good of a mother she is

Quoting sandeeyo:

I have to agree with WIKN.  Your SO has every right to be on contact information, but maybe he should have done it on the downlow and pretended that he knew nothing about what BM was up to.

And, I'm adding, if you're still thinking about volunteering at SO's DS's school, well, maybe you better rethink that...especially if BM is as combative as she was on school night.  I can just imagine her going to the school and telling them that you're there to spy on the boy or even her! lol

 

 

 

EricaG87
by Bronze Member on Aug. 29, 2012 at 9:21 PM

 wow a different name? That's crazy. Yeah, BM is finally getting challenged when it comes to her completel control and it is driving her crazy. it's kind of scary to watch.

Quoting rose0919:

dh  isnt going to back to school night this year for ss. he will be in boston for training for  work that day but he will be making an appointment with ss's teacher and new principal. last year bm actually put a different last name on ss's paperwork. so again he will be going up to the school with the co and his birth certificate. 

 with everything going on right now with bm i stay as far away as i can. and so is dh.

 

rose0919
by on Aug. 29, 2012 at 9:26 PM

yeah bm  does things like that she is loads of fun!  she will use whatever so  she has at the moment last name for her and ss.. football his last name was spanish, ss is blond with blue eyes . definatly not even the least little bit spanish looking. to look at him he looks just like dh! she loves the games....

Quoting EricaG87:

 wow a different name? That's crazy. Yeah, BM is finally getting challenged when it comes to her completel control and it is driving her crazy. it's kind of scary to watch.

Quoting rose0919:

dh  isnt going to back to school night this year for ss. he will be in boston for training for  work that day but he will be making an appointment with ss's teacher and new principal. last year bm actually put a different last name on ss's paperwork. so again he will be going up to the school with the co and his birth certificate. 

 with everything going on right now with bm i stay as far away as i can. and so is dh.



sjskijour
by on Aug. 29, 2012 at 9:53 PM

Oh boy. My SS's open house (first grade) is tomorrow and DH has asked me to stand in for him. I'm happy to, since I tend to be more involved with B's school than he is simply as a function of time (I telework from home and he has an 85 min commute). I wasn't too concerned initially, but I'm beginning to wonder!

I honestly don't know what the school paperwork says. Last year, since I picked him up from school on our weeks (DH dropped him off in AM but rarely saw teacher) and he went to daycare after school on BM's weeks, his teacher usually talked to me when he was having problems or had gotten in trouble.

Anyway, does anyone know if I have to have some special written legal paperwork to be able to go to his school open house?

We just got married last week (DH and SS have been living in my house for almost 3 years), and BM knew we were engaged but didn't know when we were getting married. Hmm, maybe I should refrain from introducing myself as SS's stepmom for now? 

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