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BM was adamant about DH not having any "sleepovers" with members of the opposite sex when they separated & divorced.  ADAMANT.  Made a big deal about it.  Demanded we not even spend a night together, nevermind live together, when he had the kids until we were married.  We followed the divorce decree and never had one single "sleepover" until we married.  I know she would have tried to keep the kids from him if we had moved in together.  The kids were 1 & 3 at the time that she was adamant about no overnights.  Not that we should have done it or that it would make it okay but--they were too young to even have known the difference if we had a "sleepover" and it would mean nothing to them, they wouldn't remember it now.

Well, she's just her boyfriend move in with her (she's been pretty much trying to hide it also)...........and that's supposed to be okay because it's her?  The kids are now 12 and 14-a time where kids are very, very impressionable, especially about relationships, etc.  Yes it has been over 10 years BUT she has held my DH to the divorce decree TO A "T" for the past 10+ years.  Everything applies to him, nothing applies to her.  It has been in very recent times that she still holds him to every word in that decree.  And it has also been in recent times that she has taken the kids out of state ON HIS WEEKEND after he told her "no I cannot switch weekends this time, we have plans this weekend".

Would you pursue her with contempt of Court on the "no overnights unless married" stuff or would you just let it go and why?

by on Sep. 7, 2012 at 1:27 PM
Replies (31-33):
Lasttime
by on Sep. 20, 2012 at 10:09 AM

Unfortunately we have found that the Court system here does everything they can to NOT nail mom.  They have repeatedly allowed her to pull all kinds of bullshit and use the system against my DH.  She never faces consequences.  Even the Guardian ad Litem deal screwed my DH.  They only interviewed the kids when mom brought them...they recited everything she says.  They were supposed to interview the kids with dad also and didn't bother, and we paid a lot of money for that.  Then the judge said he didn't give a shit what the GAL had to say anyway.  The system is BULLSHIT.  For dads here at least.

Quoting Heather.Rose:

I would. Been going through the same thing with my dhs' ex. All rules apply to him none to her. Been trying to convince him to nail her for it.


Lasttime
by on Sep. 20, 2012 at 10:11 AM

Being with a mom like her is already detrimental to the kids so...we're going with not giving her the energy. 


thanks

Quoting macbudsmom:

I would be upset, but dont' know if I would giver her any more of my energy and space than was necessary.

However, if you do feel this is deterimental to the kids, than I guess you should take a stand.


ChrissyL90
by on Sep. 20, 2012 at 10:22 AM

 I've never been through this but I think I'd just document it and save it for the future if you ever need it.  Unmarried sleepovers are very common and even though she didn't want your dh to do it, I'd just leave it alone but keep a record of it in case you need it. 

Chrissy, just a wife and just a mom!

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